rani ideas

It Mattered.

2012-02-10T00:55:00.004+07:00

Uh. Hi there guys.

It's late, like usual. My muse (or maybe the lack of consciousness to reread my writing) only works at night therefore.. things (trash) and whatever comes up as a post at night. Usually.

No philosophy, thesis, opinion or the sort today. Whatever.

You know guys, about my resolution?

It's sort of hard.

I mean.

Being happy and smile and love others is.. not so hard. Hard sometimes, but it's something you bound to do, you know? I just need to maintain it (well duh, said it in the post) and there. To be nice.. I'm trying.

But this part is hard. To make people around me feel loved.

Sigh.

I want to make people around me, especially those who were very dear to me, to know that they're loved. Because I feel really loved right now, and most of the time, but nobody ask and I want them to feel so too because it's wonderful.

And it's saddening me when they don't.

I am no sidekick, and I can't read thoughts as well as feelings; I can only guess.

When something is off, something is.. not what most people prefer to be, the only thing I know of that can make people feel better is knowing that they're loved. Despite those. Despite the hardships.

Despite everything.

I feel better when I notice so. I figured they will too.

But I don't know.

It's not as easy as I think it is. Sigh.

But I'm trying.

Why I'm a Theist

2012-02-02T16:55:00.005+07:00

Hi there! It's not long before my last post, but what the heck I'll post it anyway! :D You see, today I was.. hm. How do I put this in english. I was in a routine sort-of-discussion/sharing about my religion with a mentor and some of my friends. And boy it was enlightening.

Now, I doubt this will come up in google if any people search for something related to the concept of faith and lack there of, so here I go.

I don't know how to put this, but I guess, for me, it's started with this question:

Do you need a reason to have a faith? To believe, or in this case, to be a theist?

To have faith, I don't think people need a reason. Well, you could; go ahead, no one's stopping. But maybe sometimes you don't have to know what it is. Now, just let that question aside, because as a matter of fact, I don't know the reason I'm a theist in the first place other than I was born in the family of a theist (like most people), but I do have a reason why I keep the faith until now.

Now to elaborate that... Hm where do I start, huh?

I think the first reason why I keep the faith is because, as much as I know from living until now; as much as I understand one or two things I learnt, it happened to be explained in our Holy Book already. Or.. rather than 'explained', let just say that what I think is right or not through knowledge is not contrary to what I got from the religion.

So yeah. So far, with the knowledge I have until now, I never met one that is contrary to what it says. To put it simply, my knowledge don't give me a reason to why I should not keep the faith.

I don't take one or two parts of the Holy Book and then try to proof whether it's true or not, because; aren't you too proud to think that you have enough knowledge to do so? Of course, I'm sure that there's a time where you can proof it, the time when you really do have enough knowledge to do so, but it's not always right now.

So, what I do is: see and do what I think is right, and see if it matches with what it says in the Book.

So far, it does.

It makes sense.

To hell things I read in the Book and didn't get, because I only care and know that much. And the fact that I don't get them doesn't make it definitely WRONG or NOT SCIENTIFIC. Because logic and ratio evolve throughout the years, just like no one will believe that people will fly with a giant metal if you say so in 1200.

But for things that I know IS true. Nothing is contradictory. So far. Because if it's so, I probably has written it on my blog.

The second reason is... less logic and more sentimental... because I'm happy! Having a religion makes me happy! I mean, there's a lot of things to be happy about, but I'm happy to have a God, I guess. Mmm maybe the exact reason is, religion gave me purpose. A purpose beyond what's stated and crossed people's minds. A purpose that, as I believe, that came from a Holy Existence. And I'm happy. I have a religion and I'm happy so why shouldn't I have a religion?

Weird right, but as you see, it is pretty unexplainable, you know. The feeling.

I just realized this after a friend mentioned it, but here goes: at times when I do something that is required in my religion, or things I suppose to do according to my religion... it makes me.. calm, uh. Happy. Like! Like a feeling when you're doing a good thing! That heartwarming sort of feeling. And that happens vice versa, if I neglected them or do things that is forbidden in my religion, I feel a weight or guilt and etc.

I mean, I understand that happens because of inner suggestion or an awareness because we 'believe' of the consequence, but... I don't know. Maybe it is! But hey, I'm comfortable and happy with that, so why not?

And.. another reason is... huh well. Because it's scary, to not believe. Because I believe of a.. Force, an Existence that is so great you can't see it, so kind you're alive and happy; I'm not worried. I don't get scared. I'm happy. I'm content. Because I believe that living will be worth it, I believe everything happens for the best because there's this perfect Existence organize every single thing. And there you go.

Believing is a wonderful thing for me. Of course there are things in my religion that I think... honestly, is a nuisance, SOMETIMES. But as I said, I believe, therefore I also believe it'll be worth it and it's the best to do so. Maybe as I understand more, it will also be a wonderful thing ever happened rather than a nuisance.

But well. I guess in short, I think the reason I keep the religion is because I don't have the reason not to. If you have one; one that can not be objected, I might as well consider to not believe, I guess.

On the side note, I have no problem with atheists; as much as I have a choice to believe, they have a choice to not to, I guess.

But for me, proof of the existence or (lack there of, whatever) of God can not be compare with unicorn or any mythical being.

p.s. not very proud of this. But It'll do. For now. Oh, and here's a pic:

Feeling Artsy

2012-01-31T21:19:00.004+07:00

Hello guys! Just so you know, I'm not tired just yet of having a holiday. Classes are due in two weeks and I wish it was longer than that. And it was started sometime in early weeks of January, too; ...and I don't know whether it's a good thing or a bad thing or why am I mentioning that in the first place.

It's not like that I have a lot of things in mind for a holiday, mind you. I do absolutely almost nothing besides things people consider unproductive. Or at least that's what I think. And yet, I don't want this holiday to end. I suppose my laziness has came to reach this particular level where I don't wanna go to school for maybe for ever. Or class, now that I'm in college.

Not for.. ever, but hey, forever is a pretty long time, and I don't wanna go to school*cough* class for a pretty long time (as I put it), so I thought forever'll make it short. I guess not, seeing how I explain it just now.

But! It's been a long time since I draw something (since I don't use books anymore, means my 'doodling in the back of the book in class' is pretty much nonexistent) so now that I still got plenty of time being lazy, I should, right? And I did! But I think my drawing skills (if I had any) is getting dull. And dull-er.

I sort of aced the class (a runner up! I guess) in drawing a lot of things in a big paper with blunt pencil, back when I was in drawing class, which is a year ago; and I realized what's my forte in drawing. My drawing is not really pretty, or anatomically correct; it's rough and the outlines are hard and every time I'm done my hands are dirty because of the pencil. But I drew it fast. Back in my class I was the fastest, that's why I could come up with a lot of objects to put in my paper, that's why my paper was full and 'black' and... back then it mattered a lot.

But for someone who draws, I don't have any particular style or ways of drawing. I'd say I'm well-rounded (not just in drawing. In a lot of things as well) but that means there's nothing stands out in my drawing (or any other thing). The idea was so-so, lines are not perfect, gestures, expression, its complexity or simplicity, nothing stands out very much. Just.. well. That. I don't think one could differ my original drawing with others because, well, it's not that original.

But that won't stop me from drawing, of course! I might not devoted all my time in drawing or some sort, but hey, maybe someday I'll get a hold of it! And maybe someday I can draw something or some idea that is only mine, and people will know so!

For now, I'll just settle with trying and experimenting ways of drawing or something. The idea'll catch up! Eventually, I hope.

Speaking of drawing, I drew something this morning! A typical.. uh. Anime-styled drawing, since I haven't draw much of it for some time. Drawing people's faces and the state of a crowded sidewalk is.. not really my thing. Maybe some other time!

But for now, I'm not going to post it as a whole picture! Hahaha. Maybe next time! Now I present to you, a window of a soul!

Nah, not really.

Of Thoughts of People.

2012-01-24T14:10:00.002+07:00

Hi there! I’m writing this on Ms word at the moment, because I’m not connected to the internet and I just have this urge to write, even though I don’t know what it is.

You know, I had that urge at a lot of times. Sometimes I’m like, ‘Okay! I’ll write it!’ and then I write it on my blog and post it. Sometimes I let it in drafts, most of them never been posted until I erase it for good, and sometimes I just let it slide because I think it’s not important enough, sort of cliché (while most of mine IS cliché) or just... doesn’t matter and then forget about it.

But well. I think I go with curhat session this time. I don’t think it’ll be posted but well. I’m alone writing in ms word so why stop? Hahaha.

I’m getting a hold of myself, thinking about particular person... or people. Sometimes thinking about particular person makes me feel weird; there are mixed feelings, like, sometimes excitement, happy, disturbed, frustrating, and the list go on. And sometimes it’s just not fun for me, you know? Because I have things I want to think about and those particular people won’t leave me and my thoughts alone. The thing is, I know how bad it’ll turn out if I just let it slide, so whenever the thought of those particular people cross my mind, I stop whatever I’m thinking about so I could just think about them, so... maybe my mind will be satisfied and let me think about something else.

If there are any thoughts I don’t like to have, it’s thoughts about people. Or person. Or particular person or particular people. I don’t know, I just do.

I like to think about ideas and... uh. I think just ideas. Ideas and random thoughts that is not-so-people-oriented-or-any-creature-in-particular. It’s fun, it’s free, it’s... just... I can think about anything and everything and I won’t feel bad for thinking about it.

It’s different when I’m thinking about particular person or people. Sometimes I think about nice things they did, or bad things they did; what they have or didn’t have; their opinions; their looks; their words; something like that. Sometimes I want to hug them, sometimes I miss them; sometimes I want to kick them in the face or maybe shut their mouth for good forever... or something like that.

And after that thoughts, although as I said they caused mixed feelings, most of it are feelings of... guilt. Or sadness. Because when I think about people, I usually ended up judging them and I don’t know them enough to... think so. I just, you know. It’s useless for thinking about people because no matter what you think, they are they and you can’t change that. Sometimes it’s good and sometimes it’s bad and you just have to deal with it and thinking about it won’t make any difference. And thinking about them won’t change the reality, as things are over and there are things going on right now, so yeah. Pretty useless, if you ask me.

And it makes me uneasy, to think that maybe, when I miss this particular person, she or he might not feel the same, or maybe when I explained something to them, they just can’t see it my way and they don’t understand (maybe they don’t even try to), and I think I’ll blame them for being stupid. Sometimes I’m excited, thinking about them makes me happy, happy of times we shared and all, but... train of thoughts never really stay away from bad track and maybe I’ll be sad because it’s over or something.

See? Like that. That’s why I don’t like thinking about people or a person in particular. Eventually, they’ll give you headache and they usually breed a lot of baby thoughts about other people (sometimes ideas but mostly people) and there you go. But! Sometimes thoughts aren’t always about things we have to think about or want to think about. Sometimes it just crosses our minds and we have no choice but to think about it. That’s why it sort of frustrates me from time to time, and right now, I’m trying to get a hold of myself for real (putting up with it and ignoring it when the times over ain’t nice I guess; it means I just don’t learn). I’m saving my thoughts so I don’t waste it on little matters (like those particular people or person), in case in the future there’s this particular person or people that have to be on my mind 24/7 because they’re just... very, very, important.

Thoughts about ideas are fun, even though articles about ideas I love to read are limited hahaha. And my ideas aren’t really special and don’t really give any particular impact, but hey! At least they don’t get me mixed feelings. What’s more fun is thoughts about stories, because the unreal-ness (or the ‘too good to be true’-ness or the ‘whatever you’re searching in a story’ that sometimes real but just happen to be not ours at the moment) is exactly an entertainment for when the boredom of the so-called real life strikes. That’s why people that are fun are people who see life as if it’s a story (which it is) and wrap it up nicely so others can see or/and laugh or/and inspired by it.

My this year resolution!

2012-01-15T23:49:00.005+07:00

..I guess.

Hahaha.

I've always thought.. urhm scratch that. I thought that resolutions are trash (for me!), because I'm not the kind of person who follows things I've said or written or planned, Idk if it's because I'm too young for this or if that's just me in general and for forever, so yeah, it doesn't really make any difference whether I make one or not.

For example. I have this book that I planned to be my no. 1 source of my random thoughts written. But it failed. It's hard to keep track of what's in your mind and it's hard for me to commit on writing every time things weird or nice or whatever cross my mind so there. I think I'll turn this book into 'quotes I made and stole that would be nice to be on script or so I thought'. And I had wanted to change my writing style. Look where it got me. OH. And I had written what I wanna be in the future, around this time but a year ago, in my blog, and.. here I am. I still think it's.. appealing, but Idk! I just.. I change my mind a lot! And I'm proud of it! We'll just see what the future has in its sleeve hehehehehe.

So! When it comes to something like this, like planning or foreseeing or predicting or whatever, I suck! Well.. not for some cases but I'm just not the kind of.. 'Journal' and 'Dear, Diary..' or something like that. Wait. Is it relevant? Because I think it still is.. but.. do you guys get it? No? Too bad, I'm going to continue anyway.

But why now? If I know that I'm not meant for this thing (sort of..) why do I do this? BECAUSE! I think I'm doing a different kind of resolution than what people usually do.

You see, instead of making a list of something 'I want to have but don't at the moment' or 'I want to do but didn't.. until now', I'm going to list things I want to keep doing or having, or things I want to stay for for...ever or things I already have and want more!

...Is that different kind of resolution or is it the same? According to its definition I don't think it's different, then again, I don't really pay attention to this kind of thing so Idk. But yeah! That's what I'll do!

Without further ado, this is my resolutions!

1. To be nice.

2. Important people around me feel loved. At least by me.

3. To be happy.

4. To love.

5. To smile.

Every other things can come and go, but I think these are enough job for me to do at least for a year if not forever. I want to see if I do this right, and even if I don't, at least I tried to! That's what counts, right?

So yeah. Happy another year! I don't mind for me to change, because both never and forever are a very long time, so I don't mind changing! Or else I'll be bored. But!! There are things I want to stay and keep because it makes a good enough me until now so why not for a very long time?

But we'll see.

p.s. That awkward moment when 'without further ado' is a further ado itself.

Questions and Whatnots

2012-01-02T20:44:00.003+07:00

Hi guys! Miss me?

No? Oh.

Have you ever realized that I've often sounded like there's anyone out there, reading this blog and therefore use a conversational-like sentences in the opening of a writing?

Have you ever realized that I've often written rhetorical question with no relation whatsoever to the context I suppose to deliver?

Have you ever wonder?

No? Not that I mind, no, not at all.

I'm always flattered when people ask me something... that is actually a question, when they have others to ask to. I try my best to give a decent reply, but sometimes.. I can't.

Because.

You see guys, I'm not much of a critic. Yes, I criticize things a lot, but that's when they cross in my line of sight (or life. Or work. Or maybe something else). And when it happens so, that's when I have a certain thought about that certain things, and that's when I tried to find the answer for whatever questions popped up because of it.

For other things.. not really. (I think it's called Apathy, but you can never be too sure)

Yes! I believe every single thing exists and happens for a reason, which reason I know some and some aren't; and I don't mind for not knowing some. Not just because (sometimes) I just can't bring myself to care, but also because what good would I brought if I know so?

Some questions aren't made to be answered; maybe just not now, but maybe not ever. Who knows. I think what made questions exist is the process of getting the answer, not the answer itself! Because sometimes, realizations are there when you're trying to find an answer, not in the answer itself.

To be fair, I would love to think that it's just an excuse for me because sometimes I just don't care and I'm too lazy to think about a matter or two.

But what's wrong with that?

FISIP UI's Gelas Maba 2011

2011-12-16T17:15:00.012+07:00

Hello guys! I'm going to rant and rants are never objective (it's a blog anyway, why should it ever be objective?) but first of all, what's up with Blogger's new entry? I feel awkward writing this :/

Anyway.

Last Wednesday was, as the title says, FISIP UI's Gelas Maba 2011. Gelas Maba stands for Gelar Apresiasi Seni Mahasiswa Baru (pls CMIIW) and that pretty much describe the event itself, is it not? No? Then I'll help you.

In Gelas Maba, freshmen from 8 majors in FISIP compete through performance arts that actually can be anything; but this year, every major has different theme of what to perform. The theme was countries. In which Communication was China; Administration was India; International Relation was Middle East; Criminology was Mexico; Politics was South Africa; Anthropology was South Korea; Social Welfare was Hawaii and Sociology was Italy.

Every single one of them are good and brilliant but I'm not going to tell how did it go for every single major except for the best 3 majors' performances. And those are Politics, Criminology and Communication. Oh, and sorry for the lack of photos, I think I'll post them out later, if I'm not too lazy to do so.

(Fyi, every single year since the event started, Comm had always got the 1st place. Not for this year, sorry to say. But nevertheless, let me review how did it go.)

Politics was awesome. It was good. Here's the list of whys (in my opinion):
Their theme was South Africa and they brought up a sort of out-of-the-box theme; The Lion King. And why is that sort of out-of-the-box? The only major that use fable as their main plot was Politics. I did not see that coming at all. The opening was a 'BOOM'. There was a classy so-african-ish music produced by used bottles and that sort of stuff. It was very creative and the music was nice to hear. The story was ordinary, but I have to admit, the narrator was a total win. I practically see the soul of Rafiki in his performance (not exaggerating). He was the main source of laughter and he deserved the Best Artist award. The ending was a climax; the censored kiss was well played and very entertaining, the following dancing flashmob was good. The background real leaf and tree trunks. They even brought SNAKES! A real, living and breathing snakes. I already thought of no chance of winning for Comm when I see those snakes. That snakes was, was, was... I don't have a word for it but I like those snakes. It was very, very Africa.

But every good performance must've had its bad right?

You bet it has. Even though it was true that the fable theme was no ordinary plot (there, at that moment) it was a adaptation of Lion King and it reminds me of Lion King musical so so much. Not that it was a bad thing; adaptation wasn't bad, almost every ballet performance was a classic used over and over again. But it just means that it's not original in plot-wise. And personally, I regret that it was a Lion King, not Lion King 2. (I think it would be much more dramatic if it was the story of Kiara and Kovu's forbidden love and all, y'know. IT WOULD BE MUCH MORE DRAMATIC.) The love story in this performance was half.. uh. Half-cooked? Simba and Nala's scene was not so.. uh, important for me to remember. ~~IMAGINE IF IT WAS KOVU AND KIARA~~ And here's more: the fact that the narrator was so good, in the end, what I remember was the narrator part only; probably because the other scene wasn't so clear (there are too many scenes for a short-timed performance) and that's bad too, because if I have to be honest, I was only captivated by the narrator, mostly. The stabbing-thing and the censored kiss were too, but that's probably all. Another thing I regret from this performance was that, the change of scene was taking too long. It's a waste of time, I'd say. The supposed duration was 10 minutes but it was dragged too long. (It was worth it, I guess.) And another thing. It was good, but I sort of didn't see the performance as a whole; the opening music and the flashmob was not really intact with the story. Like, mm. The performance ends (the music ends) and then you add another performance (the drama) and then after it ends you add another performance (dance). But nevertheless, as I said above, overall it was good and awesome and very entertaining, despite all those things I mentioned.

The next one was Criminology. Criminology was fresh and funny, but I personally don't have very much comment regarding its performance.
It was good! Really! I laughed at a lot of scenes, as the judge says it was like watching a live OVJ. The actors are funny and good at what they're doing. They're all out, I sensed no awkwardness at what they're doing and the audience was happy. It was entertaining in joke sense and... pretty much that. Their forte was gags and jokes. I don't even know if it was in the script or every single one of them are born from improvisations on the stage. Very.. natural. The live mexican music and guitar instrument was good. SO so good. So mexican-ish and I like how they use guitar instrumental to accompany the narrator. And the blackman gag! It was creative and I didn't see that coming, LOL remembering it makes me laugh.

But like Politics, of course it has its bad too. First of all, ~~maybe because I was a fairly visual person~~, I don't get much of a something visually attractive here, except for the dancers' and Maria's clothes. The plot... what plot? I don't see much of an appeal besides its jokes and gags. And the end was anti-climatic. I'm sorry. The cockroach joke was funny the first time, but to end the performance with the exact joke? ...It's not funny anymore. (for me. Again, for me.) And if I have to be honest, most of them are lame for my taste (I don't get most of the things the crowd laughs about) and there you go. See. I told you I don't have much of a comment.

But as I said, it's not because they're bad; they're good and very very funny and entertaining; they got the 2nd place, remember? But their sort of play was just not my taste (MINE. Not yours, and certainly not the judges').

The last but not least (but it turned out to be least of the three, the judge said, ~~but not for me, absolutely~~) was Comm.

Communication was epitome of creative. Very. Very. Creative. Very. And for me, it was captivating. Fascinating. The kind of stage that makes me go WAW because of its creativity and out-of-the-box-ness. Maybe I'm biased, but here this out. (Going t be long because I got a lot of things to say)
The decoration was the best. It got everything you could ask for for the background. You see it as a bar; the background was a bar and it has a brick wall and chinese windows which one of them was opened and you can see a gleam of china town outside the window. And not just that you see it as a bar, you feel it as a bar too. There's a bartender in the back, making drink to a costumer and there are people with their foreign wives drinking and asking waitress' out. But as the atmosphere goes, you know who the focus was. The singing girl. And it played out simultaneously with those scene in the back. Salute! Because making things simultaneously goes like that is not a theatre thing; it's a movie scene. It was very very real and I was captivated by the movement and lively-ness it brought in the stage.

Is it all? NO! The singing girl was talking in REAL Chinese and how'd we know what she meant? Through subtitle of course! The idea itself was good and the execution was better. And then it has this scene where the guy fights with the bad guy. Wait. It's not a bad GUY. It's a GIRL. They fight and it has this power measurer (I don't know what it's called), the kind of thing you'll see above the screen when you're playing a fighting game and both players were doing their best move and you're trying your best to press every single button in the joystick to keep your character from losing. HOW COOL IS THAT? and WHO WOULD THINK OF THAT? And what's more is that you'll see that the players was not there out of the blue, the hero was there all along, watching his girlfriend from afar while drinking in the bar, the mafia thing didn't start out of the blue either. The start until the end was a whole performance. Those people who performed the dance are those guys in the bar before the commotion started, and it was ended beautifully. Everything there was so chinese; culture-wise, the set, the PEOPLE, even. It has the whole package. For a 10 minutes (maybe less) performance, it was very creative, very well-thought, and entertaining. And again, the set was awesome. I see red even after it ends. I have mentioned that I thought that there's no chance of winning for Comm to win after seeing the snakes from Politics' performance, haven't I? After seeing this, that thoughts were eaten by my cannibalistic brain.

But of course, it's not perfect.

There's no life music. Every single music you heard was a tape and well. So much for something 'musical'. The story was original but the plot definitely wasn't. It was an ordinary corny romance plot. But to be fair, I don't think other performances have 'original plot' either. The end was.. not so climax too. It was the climax, but not the kind of climax we expected to see from something that good! If you know what I mean. The expectation from seeing the set and all was not fulfilled, I guess. The story wasn't very much there; but hey, what to expect from a 10 minutes performance?

But yeah, call me biased and all. But please. As much as I know what makes Politics and Criminology won their places, Comm deserves more than 3rd place. What is it that the judges looking for? If the creativity and the idea of culture the country it presents was an important element of the performance score, Comm would've won easily. But maybe it was much more than that. The nonexistent life music was probably a big let down. Or is it not entertaining enough, huh?

I'm no expert, it's not that I've watched thousands of performance arts to have the right to say which one's better than others. But I know what I think was good and better and best and I have the right to say what I thought.

Once again I'd say: for 10 minutes performance, it was awesome. Others didn't even fulfill that requirement. (Not bragging, but still) Time was a very crucial element. To make something so 'whole' in such a short time was something that has to be highly appreciated. Also, the atmosphere it has was not an easy task either. You see, it's easier too coordinate 3 people to act on stage, rather than 14 people to act; every single one has their own role to perform and STILL have the main focus as THE MAIN FOCUS.

AND BESIDES, all of the performers was, like, straight from China or something. Aren't they count for 'Originality' points? (I wish)

And HUFF. There. My rant ends there.

But hey, everything's said and done and that's the result. And every result is the best. Every cloud has silver linings, remember? Call me mean but I kinda.. feel sort-of glad for not winning. If winning this would cause a storm of arrogance inside the heart of Comm 2011 for preparing it by themselves (with a quote mark), then I guess I'm okay with not winning. Besides, Comm has proven that they're the best of what they do best; although we're not winning. (Did I mention 'not winning' too much? It's not a very fair term though, we ARE winning...... the 3rd place)

But even saying so, I still feel bitter (being a sore loser that I am). AGH. That performance deserves more than 3rd place, I tell you! BUT. But. Sigh. Oh well. We can't have everything.

Truth to be told, the happiness radiating from other majors when we were announced as the 3rd place was a form of flattery for me. They think so highly of us they're intimidated and feel so, undeniably happy for our place in 3rd. Hehehehe. Silly me.

Winning isn't special if the modesty's blown out of the window. And losing is noble if it's accompanied with sincerity. The journey counts, and both of them aren't important for those who are champions by nature.

Comm's performance was the best in my eyes, in my heart and in my mind. Out of everything I saw in Wednesday 14th, Comm's performance was what I remember the best. And I'm sure it's not because of my bias-ness. If others were THAT GOOD, of course one will remember despite their preference, right?

Right.

Oh, and just a little trivia! When one of the performers sang Forget You, Commusic was on my mind. When SJ's Mr. Simple and SNSD's The Boys was on tape, my thought flew over Komboys. And when one of dance group performed, I can't help to compare them with Komdance. And here's my conclusion:

Comm has the best performers, definitely.

Hahaha.

Comments and critics are highly appreciated!

Her Point of View

2011-12-09T18:41:00.010+07:00

..for now. END for now.

Feel free to interpret it however you want, because I only do this to ease myself. Not a very wise move, but who cares? Probably something I’ll erase some time later.

I feel unheard and sad and unheard. Did I just mention unheard? And sad?

I just don’t know how to share it in any other way.

I'm sorry that you didn't enjoy it. I'm sorry that you can't see what's there behind all the hard work and sacrifices we made. Tears are here and there because we DON'T reap what we sow. Just because of... of.. of.. what is it again?

We don't even know what it is.

I don't even know who's this 'we' I'm referring to.

But well.

Thank you. For everything. (not being sarcastic)

All of these are part of growing up after all. Every cloud has silver linings and I can't wait for what's there for us to see.

But for now, I'm sad. /sniffs

Thank you.

p.s. Do I have to mention some part of The Universal Declaration of Human Rights or something to assure that it is okay for me to post this?

p.p.s. Just asking.

Resurrection

2011-12-07T20:20:00.005+07:00

Hello guys!

Today is... scratch that. A few weeks back was sort of my break down or something. I was so not me, so sad and tired and depressing (depressing, not depressed) and so on. I was me who wrote 'how did I manage to be happy every single time before and not right now'. And this week, everything starts to lighten. Especially today!

(Usually when I said something like that, things will go down again but who cares of how world proves me wrong?)

So. This week started really nicely. My un-nice assumptions and prejudices were blown away and I get a hug. The next day, I was getting a lot of little nice thing; like how I get an economic train just when I was in the station; and one of my favorite story was updated and etcetera; things like that. And I get another hug! Today was super. Even tho in the end I got rejected from monbu scholarship (which I have to elaborated how my feelings were in the next-next-next paragraph), I feel happy! And there's a lot of nice things (including a lot of hugs!) going on today also.

Nice things that I usually gets EVERY SINGLE DAY including days in a few weeks back, but I'm too busy grumbling and thinking I didn't notice.

(Except for the hugs, because I don't get to hug people everyday like I used to)

You see guys, I'm writing this for the sake of future me, 'cause this me in the present is really, really grateful of what I wrote in the past. I want the future me to thank me for what I write too.

So listen here.

I don't feel sad because I don't get through. Really. Maybe just like when I got rejected from SNMPTN Undangan and Tertulis, because I realize now that I don't feel sad at those time as well. Mixed feelings, yes, but now I think I know that none of them was sadness. Disappointed? Yes, maybe. Sad? Nah, not really. One thing I know I felt for it is that, I hate the feeling of rejection. That's it.

The feeling of rejection.

You know, the feeling of rejection doesn't necessarily make you sad, but they do make you feel slightly disturbed by sort of thoughts like 'I don't deserve it'. Like, you didn't get through because you're not better than others who got through. The thoughts of losing from other people because I'm not good enough.

I hate that thoughts.

Because I can't help to think that too, but why should I care? Everything that happens now is always for the best, and this is just the journey! This is like, a micro fragment of tremendously incredible and long story of my adventurous life. It's too early to think I'm not good enough.

I always thought of that; how I'm not good enough. Now that I mentioned it, I still do. I always think that I'm not good enough even when every single thing happen to prove me wrong but I'm too blinded by others to care and recognize it. I know that it happened to one of super special and talented person I know and I don't want that to happen to me too. I'm just scared to be proud of me.

Very narcissist.

Still, I don't know what I'm trying to say now because I lost cause in the middle of writing this, but yeah. I want to be proud of me too.

And I will. Just you wait.

OH.

And about how today's so nice; it's because I think I get a hold of me again. Life's so good. I'm alive and I'm very happy.

"Scuse me while I do my happy dance!"

—Oghren, Dragon Age: Origins

First Timer

2011-11-24T21:23:00.008+07:00

Hi guys! Last night was my first time watching a theatrical performance. I've always wanted to, because I enjoy those sort of things, or I thought so. Because it turns out that theatre is not really my thing. Well, I've realized that I'm into things; like reading, and sharing stories, and watching performance arts, etc; but they always went to some extent where one is my forte while others aren't, despite it was in the same context. And this one's the same. The thought of it excites me, but watching them? (As it turns out) not so much.

But hey, before I digress, let's just continue to what I'm suppose to share here. My most humble and honest things I wanted to point out from watching Baju Baru Sang Raja. Oh, I suppose you shouldn't read this first if you haven't seen the play.

(Please note that it's my first time watching these kinds of things)

First. It's boring. Why? The conversations were dragged too long and most of the long conversations have no relation what so ever with the plot. And also, I can't help but notice a lot of little fragment in a scene have no relation with the plot.

I have a lot of reasons in mind of why did that happen: it was suppose to strengthen its characters. It was suppose to emphasize that there are more complex ideas (the immorality of the ministers, what most people have in mind about politics, or something) inside the play other than the actual plot. And it was suppose to (verbally) remind people of bad things that actually happening in real life, of how ironic it was to find it funny on stage. The last thing, it's probably what theatre is all about: A lot of words, and a lot of details. Well, highly likely; knowing Shakespeare's works.

I have a lot of subjective reasons why that bores me: I'm a visual person. I can't read too much words, and I don't hear too much either (Explained how bad of a person I am). If you use words, use it as little as possible. If you don't, use something else to make us understand, because I prefer speculating what I'm seeing from what you did rather than hearing something that I already know from what you're doing. Using words for something like that makes me feel like I've been lectured. I hate that feeling WHEN I'm watching. In my opinion, something good should make me learn something AFTER I've watched it. Something that lets me think and enjoy the show and makes me baffled after it ends with realizations. With a lot of words, that couldn't happen to me.

In conclusion: because I've never watched any play before this one (except for school play! And boy that was fast and simple) I can't tell whether it's boring because of the script or because theatre is boring for me in general.

Second. It has an inside joke where you won't understand unless you're a part of FIB UI's big family. And how did I get the joke? How did I know that it was an inside joke? I read the booklet of course. If you open the book every time another person enters the stage to know who is s/he suppose to be and who s/he actually is, like I did for fun, you will. I don't know whether it's a bad thing or not, but I think people who actually have no time to read the booklet because they're so into the play wouldn't get that, and... if a pointless conversation isn't there for a gag, then it stays as a pointless conversation. Right?

Third. I like the costumes. It was colorful and.. colorful. And the lighting. The background are nice too. But my favorite was the costumes.

Fourth. There's this part where it has an overly-long gag. A gag that goes repeatedly to the point of boredom until it's not funny anymore. Maybe the actual gag is the length of the gag itself, I don't know, but it's not just my taste of a gag. But that's what they say, comedy is subjective.

Fifth. Maybe it's just me too stupid to understand but I don't get it. You see, if you had watched it, the (sort-of) first act was a bunch of activist planning something and mentioning how they will get into the part of the contest. But until the end of the play, I don't get WHERE the hell it supposes to take part. Where is their involvement in the contest? I only saw them as an activist who asked some money to one of the minister, ignite a demo, etc. The one who make a fool out of the king was the designer. From America. Now, now; I know that this suppose to mean something about how vulnerable and stupid this kingdom is to be fooled by them, but well. Isn't it weird? Isn't that mean that the evil minister and the activist was lucky enough that the king making a fool of himself at the time? They only wanted to point out how much money the king spent for it right? But they get a full package; they embarrass the king and the money spent for nothing. Please enlighten me. Is there anything more in Safiudin besides how cunning the prime minister using one of his colleague to do things for their sake? Is there anything more in the designer other than he's from America or is he involved with the plan along with the activist/defence minister?

Sixth. There's a lot of things I suppose to get from watching this. But political matters are never in my line of interest so I don't really pay attention. I was there for a friend. And, to crush my curiosity of how would it feels like to watch a real play. Hahaha. Please pardon my ignorance.

All in all, I'm not reviewing this play. I'm just pointing out things I got (or didn't get) from the play. Because; I don't know how a play suppose to be like, what kind of things that suppose to be achieved, or what kind of things that was suppose to be there, or which one is a good acting and which one isn't. So this is pretty much about ME. Not about the play. So feel free to correct any ignorant and inappropriate thoughts I've written. Some explanations are very much loved and welcomed!

Cheers

Galau mayan

2011-11-20T19:28:00.003+07:00

When I'm in 10th grade, I feel happy just being alive. I still do, I guess. But when I'm in 10th grade, I don't need to feel uneasy first to think of what kind of things that I have to be grateful for to ease myself. It crossed my mind constantly, how the sun's shining today; how nice my friends' smiles this morning; how I'm not sick on this lovely day; or how pretty my mom is; or how pleasant this day had become, or how nice it would be if I could get another round of a day to feel those things again. Sometimes it gets particular like how I'm lucky to have a friend like him or her, or how inspiring my teachers are, and so on.

There are skips in my steps. I jumped and waved and have these hand gestures which people remember me of. Smiles are easy. They still are, but. Well. Y'know. I share a lot of stories. I sing with my I dance a lot, even tho I have no clue whatsoever about dancing. I laugh at everything because, everything is funny when you have my sense of humor. Everything and everyone are nice and wonderful and funny and lovely.

I know it sounded cheesy and too rainbowish and sparklish and comical, but that's what I feel when I'm.. err uh. In high school. Wait. Even when I have graduated, I still do. When I got to college, I still do.

But not right now. Or a few weeks ago, when I was so bad my friend asked me if there's anything wrong and I don't even know what's wrong because I don't realize I was so.. quiet and easily upset. I don't know when that started, or whether it came out of the blue or periodically or if it happened all the time since it started (I'm that confused)

I thought it was because of PMS, and it was, but it happened again. I'm sure, for anything cute and fluffy, that it's not just because of hormons.

Have I... changed?

/wails

Not that it's a change... I thought of it as maybe.. a phase?

Or is it puberty that people were talking about? I doubt it. It's too late. I thought I got through puberty. Sort of.

It's just. I just want my bubbly (?) self back. How did I overcome things easily before, and why is it not as easy as before now? What change? Is it temporary or is it something that I have become? Because it's scary now that I realize I don't laugh as much as I did before. I want to dance again. I want to be silly and laugh at my silliness and whatever happened because it was funny and it should be still funny now. I think I'm sick.

END OF STORY!

By the way, I remembered one of a part of my favorite dream again! In fact, surprisingly, it's not me who remembers, it's my friend! I'm touched that she still remembers after I told her; I don't even remember it myself until she mentioned it. So here goes!

I was in a house. A wooden house, and I met the cutest thing ever. It's a pair of dolphins, sitting/sleeping in the wet part of a wooden floor. One was green, the other was pink! COOL RIGHT. Not just that. Because they were too cute to watch, I can't help to touch them (even tho I'm a bit afraid they'll run away if I did). And it turns out that they're FURRY and SOFT and FLUFFY. Did I mentioned cute? They're cute and furry and soft and fluffy and nice. I forgot the rest of the dream but that part was heavenly. I remember something about dogs sitting on their spot, but I'm not sure.

Tomorrow's a new day. I'll outshine the sun tomorrow. Bye!

Dreams

2011-11-14T00:06:00.003+07:00

I can not sleep. Yet. Hopefully.

It doesn't bother me when I couldn't sleep around this time before. But tonight I got a lot of things in mind, I guess. Or maybe because I was having sort of horror marathon or something tod--uh, yesterday. Not that.. it bothers me much. Or maybe because I fell asleep around 5 p.m. just now? I don't know, whatever the reason is, I can not sleep. Yet. Hopefully.

Speaking of sleep, I have a few series of my favorite dreams. The most recent is the part of a dream where I dreamed about seeing a penguin and fishes and pretty animals sort-of parading in a sea while I'm watching in the beach.. or rocks, or whatever, with a friend and take a lots of picture with my cellphone. I woke up and then told others about it and told them that I'm glad I took pictures because I know that I can continue dreaming about it now that I have reminders. But that dream happened in a dream (meta-dream?), and maybe what I said doesn't work if it happened like that.

And I was hoping to see it again too. Sigh.

The other one is.. the part of a dream when I was in a hospital and saw cute and colorful stuff-animals like creatures dancing and singing under the full moon. I took pictures too! But the pictures were somehow not good enough and I wanted to go closer to them, but then I realized that they'll pretend to be dead when others were around so I held myself back and keep watching from my room's balcony. I wish I could join them. Singing and dancing under the full moon.

And that's it I guess. I might had have another but forgot about it due to lack of memory. I think I had a lot of amusing dreams--odd, but amusing. There were also weird and scary dreams I'm not really fond of, and thanks to my twisted memory priority slot, I usually still remember about them the whole day after waking up. Sometimes it stays until the day after tomorrow, and the day after that, and it affects how my day goes too, unfortunately. Well, to be fair, it happened to every dreams I manage to remember, no matter what they are (scary or funny or both) and sometimes I wish I dont remember any.

Maybe, if I have enough motivation, I will make a good use of these.. dreams. Preferably make money.

Oh! And I remember another one of my favorite dreams! It's the part of a dream where I'm not included to the dream, and the dream was about a little girl and a banana (an anthropomorphic banana with goggles and gloves and shoes) and.. maybe a few odd friends, saving a planet. Or maybe universe. I'm not sure. They're really cute. In the end, the planet or universe was saved but the banana sacrifice himself so the girl can be saved or maybe so the girl can go back home, I forgot. But it was so sad and touching, to the point where after I wake up, I still remember his name. Not for long though. I managed to draw him in the back of my notebook when I was in school that day, even when I had already forgotten about his name when I drew him.

I should sleep and I really want to sleep. I want to have a long and fun dream where I don't have to be afraid.

Something stolen. Kinda.

2011-11-05T21:21:00.004+07:00

Hi again everyone! After some awkward attempts of changing my writing style (with its lack of consistency and all that. As ever), I wanna write something where I don't have to think whether people get what I meant or not. In a way or another, I'm sure you couldn't careless of why I write this way, so I'll go on.

Have you ever feel that something is stolen from you, when it's not even yours in the first place? Well, sometimes it's not even something that can be owned. But it's just, like, stolen. from you.

Have you?

I certainly have. In fact, I experienced it quite a lot.

You know, like the time when a person suddenly brag about your favorite author/artist and how she/he loves them so much to other people's faces, when you know that author/artist since forever and never bring them up because, no one cares right? And then people suddenly intrigued and lalala they suddenly adore your favorite author a few days later? Or you know a really good book since the moment it was available in stores and then a few years later it booms like crazy and suddenly it's so popular everybody talks about it? Or when you keep a faith over something/some group/some people when others don't, and when that something/group/person finally succeed, others will start cheering when you had always felt like the only one who believes?

I did. Sigh. And I'm not very proud of it.

Sometimes, the feeling of something just have been stolen from me was accompanied with irritation, jealousy and, and.. annoyed. Like, I WAS FIRST. Or I KNOW IT LONG BEFORE YOU DID. Or THEY/SHE/HE'S MINE! Sometimes it came to the point where I feel like they have no right to like them/her/him or cheer for them/her/him or somesort because, because.. well. Just because.

I always feel bad afterwards. "What a bad fan I am." sort of thoughts. I mean, if they're popular, or their works are loved by a lot of people, or more people support their efforts, why wouldn't I be happy? I should, right? That's a good thing! If I loved them so much as I state in my mind, then, of course I'd be happy if it makes them/her/him happy or that thing I love becomes popular, yeah?

But I didn't, ladies and gentlemen. No matter what I thought. Maybe I don't love them as much as I thought I am, after all..

Well, I've grown used to it, and I don't really mind anymore, thinking that it's something mundane, and I've grown to be happy for their/his/her/its popularity, but I know that it was something that can't get off so easily. Maybe I just like to feel special; liking them or owning them myself, me and only me. And if people like them or own them too, it should be because of me or they should have reasons and feelings just like me, not some shallow 'go with the flow' something-something like that.

What a selfish and honest thought of mine.

But yeah. It's a thought from a past. Although I'm sure it's bound to cross my mind again, some time in the future or I don't know, some time in the present or something. Though I'm also sure it won't be as long and as intense it was before because things are less in every way when you know about it. Except love. You'll love something more when you know you do, but other than that, I don't think so. CMIIW tho.

I liked a lot of things, I discovered a lot of things and sometimes I didn't share them because of the fear that I'm not going to be special anymore. Maybe. Or maybe I would share them because I want people to know that I am first, I know them more, I love them a lot. Maybe. Well, I make up those ones just now, but maybe they're right and those're exactly my motives when I did that, I don't know. Sometimes we thought things we do are impulsive, when they're actually set by our minds and our evil subconsciousness all along. Which I thought was the most honest part of you; because even heart can be misleading.

But yeah, I'm not proud of that because it means that I didn't love them/she/he or appreciated an object as much as I thought and I prefer to be special rather than to be happy of their popularity; but I'm glad I felt all of that because I know how to let go and be happy for it now that I know my own feelings.

And it helps me grow up! Having ill feelings are also a way to be a good person, I guess. Not that I have become a good person. Or have I? Haha.

Sekelebat Info

2011-10-29T16:47:00.002+07:00

Jadi belum lama ini ada eks-temen BTA yang jadi temen sejurusan saya sekarang, bertanya kenapa saya tidak menggunakan nama saya lagi sebagai kata ganti orang pertama saat ngobrol.

Pertama ya teman-teman, saya terharu dan kaget juga ada teman saya yang nanya begitu, berarti ada treat dari diri saya yang diinget orang hihihi (padahal di keluarga saya sih ngomong begitu biasa aja) tapi yaudah. Saya bilang kalau saya membiasakan diri untuk menggunakan kata ganti orang pertama (aku) karena di jurusan saya, saya tidak dikenal dengan nama saya yang sebelumnya dikenal orang-orang yang kenal saya (Rani) tapi dengan nama yang lain/nama orientasi (Harlin). Saya rasa sih ini supaya terhindar dari adanya nama panggilan yang sama, dan kalau saya masih menggunakan nama saya dan bukan kata ganti orang pertama dalam percakapan, nanti teman-teman saya yang harus mengenal saya dengan nama orientasi saya jadi bingung kaaan.

Kemudian ada juga yang bilang kalau mereka lebih suka nama orientasi saya dari pada nama panggilan yang yang beneran. Entah harus bersyukur atau tersinggung. Tapi yasudalah ya. Preference kan urusan orang.

Saya mau cerita banyak tapi yang diceritakan ini banyak yang saya mau ceritakan masih rahasia perusahaan (dan kayaknya bakal terus jadi rahasia perusahaan, mungkin) tapi ada yang menarik banget deh. Saya kan akhirnya punya temen pulang bareng lagi nih, jadi kami sering pergi dan pulang bersama. Beberapa kali ketika kami sedang bercerita tentang sesuatu yang seharusnya (semacam) rahasia perusahaan entah kenapa ada saja senior yang ternyata tak sengaja ada disana. Entah memang kami apes atau bagaimana entahlah. Dengan hari ini, sudah sekitar 4 kali kejadiannya. Menurut saya sih itu lumayan banyak juga, soalnya kejadiannya selain di kereta dan stasiun, adalah di toilet rektorat dan di tengah hutan. Kemungkinan untuk ketemu orang yang dikenal di toilet rektorat dan di tengah hutan yang ternyata adalah senior?

Ngomong-ngomong, minggu depan UTS lho.

Adaptasi, Goal, Ekspektasi.

2011-10-07T22:12:00.003+07:00

Halo! Udah lama nih tak bercerita disini! Yah, memang nggak ada yang mau diomongin sih. Kalo ada yang penasaran sama kehidupan saya yang sekarang, saya belum terasa kok perubahan signifikan-signifikan amat dari yang sebelumnya. Kalo hectic ya hectic lumayan, boong deng nggak segitunya hectic kok! In fact, entah ini belum kerasa apa gimana, atau mungkin sebaliknya; karena udah lumayan terbiasa sekarang... rasanya agak luang dan menyenangkan. Tugas-tugas juga manajebel. Udah agak ketemu nih patternnya, cuma ya nggak tau deh kan baru mulai.

Setelah berbagai goal dan ekspektasi muncul sekelebat di kepala saya yang sempit ini, saya juga sempat mengalami perasaan malas dan capek dan ribet dan sesak. Tapi yah, dijalanin aja lah ya. Menjalani itu bukannya gampang tapi emang nggak ada pilihan lain kalo memang masih mau hidup di dunia. Cuma yang namanya menjalani itu ya susah kalo belum biasa; belum beradaptasi.

Terkadang adaptasi itu terasa sangat sulit dan lama, kalo menurut saya sih itu terjadi karena yang beradaptasi tidak sadar ia sedang dalam masa adaptasi. Yang penting sih tau dulu kalo banyak hal yang nggak sama dan menyiapkan diri gimana biar kenggaksamaan tersebut bisa diterima jiwa dan raga alias dijalani dengan hati yang ikhlas. Dibawa seneng aja. Kalo dari sisi optimis ya seneng aja, hari esok akan lebih baik dari hari ini! Kalo dari sisi pesimis ya seneng aja, hari esok bakal lebih capek, jadi mumpung masih hari ini senengnya sekarang aja, ya nggak.

Kalo soal goal dan ekspektasi, ya.. saya merasa saya masih punya banyak waktu dan kesempatan buat mengerti, mengejar nilai bagus banget dan berkegiatan yang banyak dan melakukannya itu nggak harus sekarang. Kalo saya pribadi sih, yang saya butuhkan sekarang itu kestabilan, dan kalau saya hanya bisa mendapatkan kestabilan itu dengan nilai bagus aja dan kegiatan yang nggak terlalu banyak, so be it.

Saya setuju kok sama carpe diem! Seize the day, kalo bukan sekarang, mau kapan lagi? Tapi ibarat mancing, cuma orang yang bersabar yang bisa dapet ikan; semua ada waktunya masing-masing kok! Kalo memang belum mampu ya ngapain dipaksa. Kalo memang itu buat yang terbaik, nggak masalah kok kalo harus nunggu.

Pintu itu banyak. Dan jangan khawatir, kalo emang nggak bisa masuk atau keluar lewat pintu, masih ada jendela, lubang tikus dan cerobong asap kok.

Something happened

2011-09-14T22:38:00.005+07:00

You know, the one that I have mentioned about the time when I saw one of my friend using a bag from NSO, and then I told one of my other my friend that I'm going to get one of those next year and I really did? That's one case. For one thing, I didn't mean anything when I said that, but it happened anyways.

Similar case happened a few days ago.

But I didn't say anything this time.

You see, now that I go to college, I usually go there by train since my house is nearby and I'm too lazy to find a kostan (or somesort). And I usually went to the last wagon (or first, depends) so I can get out of the station faster.

It was Monday (yes, this week's Monday) and I was on my way home inside the train when I saw a guy (look's like the one in charge) went to engine driver's cabin. And there's a thought.

"I wonder what's inside there."

And then there was Tuesday. I was late; when I bought the tickets, the train's already there and when I run for it, the door closed just in front of my face. I'm in despair!

But just for a second.

Because it seems that one of the guy in engine driver's cabin saw my failed attempt and felt kind of pity, so he opened the cabin's door; and let me in.

So I was inside an unused engine driver's cabin all the way to college.

I was inside the engine driver's cabin.

I was inside the--

--Holy kitty that was--

--I dunno. Beyond unexpected? Something like that.

I feel like, I'm the luckiest person in the world or something. Because it's just crazy! The moment I wonder about what's inside the engine driver's cabin on Monday, I know that would be sort-of-impossible! Because, it's not like I want to work there or some sort; the thought of I would be there is nonexistent in my mind. I just shrugged the thought off seconds after I thought about that.

And then the next day, I was there, all the way to college. True story.

...

HOW COULD SUCH THING HAPPENED????!!!

Sigh. I don't know.

But seriously.

If a mere thought like that could happen; even when you don't expect anything, even when you don't believe in it; why can't people believe in a great, strong and promised force such as,

a prayer?

Just saying.

Of Formality and Reality

2011-09-10T22:45:00.005+07:00

Weird title. I know. Sorry. Please excuse my uncreative mind.

When I was in high school (it sounds like I'm old or something) in the tenth grade, if I'm not mistaken, my sociology teacher told the class about uh. I forgot what it's called, but long story short, it's about how there are two behaviors that people choose to.. use? do? whatever the verb is; and that depended on the relation of the person you interact with.

One I like to refer as 'formal' (since I forgot what it's called), it's the kind of behavior you usually offer to people for the sake of courtesy and such; usually to people older, to stranger, to your boss, to people you just met, and so on. But I think in a way, this behavior is one that you want 'people to know you as' kind of behavior. It can be anything; polite, warm, chirpy, or maybe cold, annoying and inconsiderate if you want to. So by formal.. I don't mean 'formal' literally.

And another one is.. one that like to refer as 'real' (since like I've mentioned, I forgot what it's called) and obviously, since this is the real one, this behavior reflects you as who you really are. The one you'll use/do/whatever to the person close to you, like family and friends or boyfriends or girlfriends or pets and etc. And it can be anything too.

You can say that "I'm not like that! I always stay true with myself; I treat people the same, their relation with me doesn't matter."

Well.

No, you can't. If you do, I don't think you'll survive in the society.

This act of.. treating people differently comes naturally I guess. It comes naturally when you're a part of society; it comes naturally when you have people who're close to you, and people who're not-that-close to you. A lot of things mattered as of why and it's late and I'm lazy of explaining them (maybe later) but yeah. It's just different!

It's not always differs a lot, of course. It's just, there are things that only people you trust a lot know about one or two qualities your soul has, and there are things that you only do to people mattered to you and people who actually don't mind receiving that behavior.

And there are things that you don't really like doing; like maybe smiling or greeting or bowing or standing straight, but you have to, because that's how society works. There are unwritten rules too, and you can't just pay no heed just because it's not 'you'. And not just society, in a very small scope like meeting people or helping a stranger; there are things that you suppose to do in order to make it work. And more often than not, you don't like doing that. And it works when it's subverted as well. One can act ferocious and cold and scary; sometimes they suppose to do that; maybe that's their job, or maybe they have their own motives (gaining respect, making a point, or something)

And for people who do that; who separate how they treat people based on their relationship or something like that; it's not that they're 'fake'.

It just comes naturally. A demand from society.

And personally, a demand from an insecure mind.

So no. I don't think 'formal' behaviors are fake. And no. I don't think that 'real' behaviors have to be shown to every single people and at any time you want to just because it's real.

And I don't make that theory up! I actually learnt that from high school. I don't know who the heck came up with this idea, but whoever they are, they nailed it.

Today, I met an interesting person.

Well, I meet interesting people everyday, but let's just say that this particular person is worth mentioning because this person reminds me of that particular info I received in class 3 years ago.

So yeah.

Not that I aced sociology; in fact, I sucked. That's why if anyone out there knows what the heck I'm talking about and doesn't think that I make any sense, feel free to point out the wrongs, thank you very much. Because not just I have this lesson three years ago and I sucked at sociology; I didn't do any research when writing this.

So there.

Lebaran

2011-09-03T23:40:00.008+07:00

Halo! Selamat berlibur ya, dan selamat lebaran walaupun lain-lain harinya. Salut deh sama Indonesia, sankingkan multikulturalnya hari lebaran aja beda-beda hehehehe (ini serius) tapi biar beda-beda juga tetep sayang ya, jangan berantem. Mama sama papa saya juga seperti tahun-tahun sebelumnya lebaran di hari yang berbeda lagi lho. Mama sama papa saya itu memang epitom bhinneka tunggal ika. Ikut lebaran yang mana saja tidak masalah, kan yang penting punya dasar yang jelas dan yakin; bukan ikut-ikutan.

Dan seperti tahun sebelumnya, tahun ini saya mudik lho. Mudik kali ini spesial soalnya kakak dan adek sepupu saya yang sempat saya sebut di post-post lama ikutan juga, setelah 5 tahun nggak lebaran bareng. Ngomong-ngomong mudik juga, saya jadi menyadari ternyata kebiasaan saya menggunakan nama dan bukan kata ganti orang ketiga itu memang tidak setidak-wajar yang saya pikir. Hampir semua sepupu saya menggunakan nama atau panggilan (baca: Kakak, Adek, Ayuk) untuk menyebut diri sendiri. Padahal semenjak saya masuk dunia kampus saya berusaha mengubah kebiasaan saya itu karena jarang yang menggunakan lho, yah, memang ada tuntutan lain juga sih. Tapi yah, begitulah. Mungkin itu kebiasaan daerah ato apalah.

Yuk Alin, Kak Sheila, Fauzan, Fajar, Andini, Kak Firli, Rani (Kami bertujuh ini lahir di 6 tahun yang berurutan; Yuk Alin '91, Kak Firli '92, Kak Sheila '93, rani '94, Fajar '95, Dini dan Fauzan '96.)

Fajar, Dini

Yuk Alin, rani

Fajar, Fauzan, Yuk Alin, rani

Dini, Kak Sheila, Kak Firli, Yuk Ani, Caca, Yuk Alin

Fajar, Kak Sheila, Rani, Dini, Kak Firli, Yuk Ani, Yuk Alin

Dini, Kak Sheila

Yuk Ani, Yuk Alin, Caca, Dini, Rani, Firman, Fajar, Kak Firli

Waktu bersama sepupu-sepupu saya merupakan waktu-waktu termenyenangkan di masa kecil saya (sekarang juga masih menyenangkan), karena sewaktu saya kecil memang tidak seru-seru amat, isinya dibully, kerjaannya salah orang, di adu-domba oleh tetangga, kehidupan SD penuh drama; dan selain keluarga saya dan kucing saya yang menghibur cuma sepupu-sepupu saya ini saya punya cerita-cerita menarik.

Sebenarnya saya juga dekat dengan sepupu dari keluarga papa saya, dan yang ini lebih eksklusif, karena yang ini 94liners. Tapi mungkin ceritanya ada untuk lain kali. :) Yang jelas liburan kali ini menyenangkan! Semoga liburan kalian juga!

Tidak menarik.

2011-08-23T20:01:00.004+07:00

Halo! Akhir-akhir ini nggak nulis karena bingung mau tulis apa. Kayaknya belum ada yang menarik. Ngomong-ngomong nulis pake kata ganti orang ketiga nggak bisa lagi deh kayaknya semenjak sekarang, soalnya nama panggilan saya berubah karena tuntutan karir. Jadi saya nggak bisa lagi menyebut nama yang saya sukai sering-sering (kasihan). Kali ini juga menulis dengan bahasa Indonesia karena orang malas baca tulisan saya yang berbahasa Inggris. Tapi nggak penting juga dibaca karena saya cuma mau curhat kayak post-post sebelumnya. Hitung-hitung kalo aja ada yang penasaran sama hidup saya sekarang kayak apa ya mereka bisa liat post ini lah walaupun pendapat saya pribadi sih baca ini juga nggak akan membantu. (mungkin sedikit)

Akhir-akhir ini saya jadi aktif menggunakan email sebagai sarana komunikasi lho. Tumben soalnya dari zaman dulu email biasanya cuma saya gunakan untuk kirim-kiriman tugas, atau... yah. Cuma kirim-kiriman tugas. Sisanya antara lain email aktivasi dari web2 lain baru deh email orang. Tapi kali ini benar-benar ber-email2an lho. Agak hardcore juga deh sekali bales saya bisa tulis sampai 3 halaman word, padahal buat esai ospek aja mau satu halaman dengan tulisan besar-besar dan spasi super jauh juga masih menghabiskan setengah kehidupan.

Akhir-akhir ini juga saya kebanyakan asumsi-asumsi padahal saya paling pantang asumsi-asumsi sebelum ngerti masalah/orang/hal atau apapun lah yang saya asumsikan, tapi namanya manusia kali ya emang hidupnya penuh asumsi jadi yaudah deh. Saya paling suka kalo asumsi biasanya asumsi saya salah, jadi setiap kali asumsi saya selalu berusaha asumsi sehancur-hancurnya realita biar yang sesungguhnya terjadi nanti tidak sehancur-hancurnya realita. Sedihnya asumsi-asumsi saya suka bikin galau, walaupun konsentrasi galaunya kecil. Ngomong-ngomong saya jadi pangling deh nulis begini, emang selama ini kalo nulis begini ya bahasanya? Kok aneh. (takdir)

Oh ya, asal tau akhirnya saya menemukan darimana suara saya bisa begini. Setelah bertahun-tahun saya kenal sama tante saya, saya baru sadar pas liburan kemarin kalo suara saya dan suaranya setipe, jadi sebagai pembelaan saya bisa bilang kalo suara saya ini memang keturunan.

Saya juga masih dalam masa adaptasi, adaptasinya macam-macam, saya belum pernah sekalipun makan di kampus saya (namanya bulan puasa) kemudian saya juga masih tidak tahu banyak tempat walaupun sudah lumayan mendengar banyak cerita hantu. Saya juga datang ke kampus pada hari minggu untuk mengerjakan tugas. Singkatnya, saya pun rasanya kembali menjadi anak kelas sepuluh yang baru di kader. Tapi tidak seperti saat kelas sepuluh dulu yang bikin buku wawancara bentuk ipod kali ini bikin nametag bentuk ipad. (no pun intended) oh ya, untuk progres monbu, saya belum berangkat kesana kok, pengumumannya Januari kalo saya tidak salah informasi.

Dan sebentar lagi akan libur. Saya bahagia. InsyaAllah saya akan mudik. Saya suka mudik. Mudik itu seru sekali lho. Karena disana asyik. Biasanya sih.

Yasudah. Mungkin akan update lagi. Tataw. Siapa tau selanjutnya ceritanya akan lebih menarik.

Monbukagakusho Interview

2011-08-08T20:18:00.008+07:00

Hi guys! My thoughts are in a jumble these days, but life's good as ever. Ospek aside, I want to share my story of how the interview for Monbukagakuso goes for undergraduate program in Indonesia. I kinda have sworn this in my mind for a past few days because of lack of it in this so-called internet. So yeah.

Here goes.

It was today at 8.30 am (or so it says) and you got to be there by 8.00 am because at 8 the security guard will start calling the interviewee's names. And then at 8.30 am, we (interviewee) were gathered at a place where some people wil start explaining that it would be the last time you compete with your friends from the same country and such. Kinda important but you'll get notes of it so I'll skip it.

Those who applied for social studies goes first because those who applied for science gotta do the Japanese test that they had skipped on the written test before. So, I and a few friends (all girls btw) went to waiting room where we wait (obviously) for our turn. It was in alphabetical order and I was the fourth out of five people. The woman that announce things when we gathered said that the interview was in Bahasa Indonesia, but it turned out that they interviewed us in English.

From what I've heard from my friend, it was in Bahasa Indonesia before (or usually, I don't know) so maybe they just changed it this year. Or maybe they want to see how it'll go if they use English for future reference or something. Anyway, most of us was shocked. I'm not really surprised, because, well, I have no preparation at all, in both languages, so I have nothing to lose. Unlike those who thought about what kind of things they should say if interviewers asked this or that and make notes about it (which one of my friends did, fyi)

So when it was my turn, I made sure to knock and greet them first and sit when they let me sit. And then they asked usual things like: Introduce yourself. | Why Japan? | What do you think about the big difference between our culture? | Did I apply for any scholarship beside this? | What would you do if you got this recommendation? | What would you do if you're done with you're studies? (Work in Japan? Indonesia, something like that) | and personal things like: | describe yourself | what do your parents think about this? | and so on.

Nothing weird.

I don't talk very much at that time, maybe because of the language barrier or maybe I'm just nervous, but in one note, my turn was fast. My friends before me took like, 15 minutes or something and I'm done by 10 minutes or so. I don't know if that's a good thing or not.

Well, the interviewers aren't intimidating or scary, they're pretty nice so no need to be nervous I guess. Well, they know you're still a kid. They know you're nervous. So don't worry to much, they don't expect things that high from you (I think) so I maybe, if you answered it confidently and calmly it's pretty much okay. I mean, I don't think they want to find out whether your English's good or not, or whether you're smart or not, they just want to know what kind of person they will recommend to go as Indonesia's representative for this scholarship. Even if you answer it with words that will make Grammar Nazis cry a river. I think.

And the result? Who knows. If I don't get through then it's simply because they don't think I'm the right one, not because I'm not worth it. I think. And in a way, that's a good thing because people don't have too miss me too much (/puke) ahahaha just kidding.

There. That's pretty much it. If you're one of those people who are shock of how'd you get through and have no preparation at all for any interview that is due in a week from now and start searching it in the internet, at least you have some sort of reference. Kinda.

Things are pretty hectic these days (it seemed that way since I spend the last few months being lazy), but things that seem like tragedies are always funny to tell after given sometime. Fact.

I actually hate essays, but I think they'll be hilarious when I found out how wrong it is a few years later. Here I am, writing in this blog, when I got 2 more essays to be done. Yay me.

Oh, and Happy Ramadhan!

Holidays just a few blocks away!

So relax when you prepare to meet us, and when you fill out your essays. Preparing is not for now, you have been preparing for seventeen years. Suggesting that you "be yourself" is not a trick just to lower your guard, uncover your flaws, and deny you admission. But lowering your guard might be a good idea. I've talked to lots of candidates - and the ones who are just themselves, who can laugh at their mistakes and struggles, who seem comfortable in their own skin - inevitably show a bit more maturity, and inevitably make the best impression. Just my two cents.

- John DeTore, an EC. He does the interviews for MIT admissions.

p.s. Thank Romy, I'd be lost without his advices.

p.s.s. I got a call just now, turns out I made it. Somehow. And. Uh. I dunno. I'll end this post now.

Robbery

2011-07-25T20:19:00.005+07:00

Hello! How's life, people? Mine's great so far. But today, unlike any other day of me ranting the usual life I've had, I want to share you a story of how my house was almost robbed today.

So here goes.

Hm.

For starters, you should know that.. I have a really big family. Well.. kinda. My father has nine siblings and my mother has four. And yeah, we're pretty close. I have 13 uncles and aunts and.. like, 25 cousins or so and I keep in touch with them and in short, I KNOW them. So do my mother and father. My mother and father have a lot of uncles and aunts, so they have a lot of cousins too, and they know them pretty well too. Therefore, I have a lot of people that in a way or another are family and they are a lot, so.. I might or might not have seen them in person.

One day, I'd say, mm.. a few weeks ago, a guy came to my house, saying that he's a son of some dude who had died, and that he has no family left, and he really need a job, and came to my house to see my father and mother to talk or ask for a job or something along those lines. My mother was working. My father has something to do in Palembang. My sister was at school. I'm home alone, with a maid that will leave at 5 or so and Mitton. Should I panic? I think I should have, but I didn't. I kinda ask my father and mother whether they know this guy, and then.. well.. He said a lot of names that I think I should've known, and he said that he got my address from a person whose name was familiar in my ears, and he ask for my mother's and father's number and I gave him and I actually need to go so I ask him to leave. Via my father.

It turned out that he IS a some-kind-of a family from my mother's side. He's... uh. He's a son of a dude who was a my grandma's cousin or sibling or something. I forgot, okay? It's complicated. So my father or mother (I dunno) texted him and asked him to come to my house again. To talk. Or do something about this guy. Because family doesn't neglect each other, yeah?

A few days later, when my father's home, he came again and actually talk with my father. He rant about how he's alone and he need a job and he would go to Makassar with my father if he needs to, and how he won't beg for lalala and lalala. In short, he ranted. In the end of conversation, he asked to borrow some money. A million or so. My father decline and says that he doesn't need to borrow a million, but in return my father gave him half a million so he can come back to his village; because life's easier there. He'll get a job and he'll live, because, well, I don't really understand of how but my mother seemed to agree about that so I guess that was a good idea too.

A few days later, I lost my wallet.

How? I don't know. It was in my bag the last time I saw it. My bag. In my house. I guessed it slipped or something. But no it wasn't. Because when my mother's home and tries to find her laptops, she couldn't find them. And, my garage key was nowhere to be found too.

So.

Somebody must have broke into my house when I was sleeping upstairs that day.

I'm glad I haven't died.

We kinda should've saw this coming, because.. we put our keys under the chair in our terrace every time one of us gone out. For YEARS. And nothing happened before, so we kind of.. mm.. didn't do anything about it until that day. So yeah. The next day we changed our locks and keys and each of us has keys so no need to put any under the chair.

That was.. a week ago.

Exactly a week ago.

Today, being an unemployed person that I am, I went to UI with my friends of Rohis for dauroh. I was out at 8 in the morning and I was fasting, and we walked a lot, and talked a lot, and it was hot, and I was back home at 4.30 or something.

I was dead tired after that.

DEAD. TIRED.

The kind of tired that the only thing you want to do when you get home is sleep like a log. Or dead.

So.

When I got home, greeted by Mitton like usual, got my keys in my bag like usual, I suspect nothing except bed.

But when I tried to open the door, it was unlocked.

I thought my mother or sister was home and they kind of forgot to lock so I shrugged it off.

And then I saw my parent's room door was open. And that guy came out from there, brought my laptop bag with him.

Should I panic? Yes.

Should I scream like a mad man? HELL YES I SHOULD.

But I didn't.

Instead, I was staring like an idiot and he said that he was asked by my mother to bring something and he went to the door with my laptop bag with him and he still saying things, and then I stopped him and said that I need that laptop but he insisted that he should brought it and I insisted that there's something I need there and he gave me the laptop bag, and then he said he should go and he has a key and opened the lock with the key that I know I put on the table inside my house that morning and then.. run.

What did I do?

I locked the door, I went to my parent's room and it was a mess. A mess.

I opened my laptop bag and there's my laptop that should've been in my room upstairs.

Did I just experienced robbery?? My mind said.

I called my mother and said everything that just happened. I call my father too.

I saw my parent's room and oh, my camera's there, handycam's there, my mother's expensive bags are there, my father's watches are there, even tho it was scattered, it was there. Whew.

I laughed a little and I think he want to brought it all along with him, but I caught him in the middle of trying to figure out how and when he want to bring my laptop bag (the only thing he brought along that moment) I stopped him just in time with.. a method that I'm not sure I could use again in the future.

After that, I panicked.

Too late, mind. Too late. If my mind was a person, I'll slap her in the face.

I realized that it was kind of scary and I could've knocked out and died for real and then I sobbed a bit but I'm glad at least I saved my laptop. And about me being DEAD TIRED? Not anymore. Too preoccupied to feel exhausted, I'd say.

And kinda paranoid, and yeah. My sister and mother was home after that, I explained it to them with a dry throat, from fasting and talking a lot and panicking. My father too. A lot later.

My mother lost some of her jewelry but other than that... I think nothing was stolen. And I'm not knocked out and fainted.

Or dead.

And Mitton's not kidnapped.

And there's the story folks! It turns out okay! Even tho my mother's jewel are pretty nice to wear. But you can't have everything, so there.

Besides, my sister's sarcasms are funny.

p.s. A friend said to me that I should practice panicking when he called a month ago. He thinks I'm not panicky enough and that's not good for me. It needs a month to make me think he had a good point.

Post of good news'

2011-07-21T10:36:00.009+07:00

Halo!

Okay.

So. Mm first I want to tell you guys a really great news!

Did you remember about a post where I put up a pict of a chocolate? Yeah? You did? Karen, the one who gave me that, made it to HI UI through SIMAK. YEEEEY. That was her dream, and it came true, and I'm sooo happy. Because she deserved it! I prayed for her! She's a really wonderful person, I'll be really sad if she didn't make it. BUT SHE DID AND THAT'S ALL WHAT MATTERS.

Yeey.

So yeah. That's one good news.

Another good news is, tho I already posted it before (and after some thought I erased it because I'm to lazy to update but yeah) and it's kinda.. old, because, well, some of my friends got accepted to college since, err uh, a long time ago; but well! It's the progress that I want to point out and, see for yourself.

I'm not the kind of person who sees that.. much of necessity of getting into college, I mean, 'All roads lead to Rome', yes? But I'm still happy that a lot of my friends did.. And not just my high school friends! My friends from NSO also! And and and... my friends in general. Either way, I'm proud and I'm happy for them.

Another good news, ~~I'm still alive!~~

Another good news, mmm, to think from anything that could be a good news (and that's a LOT, including how I go unmurdered by space like about now), I finally made it to college! Yey! I'm happy my parents are happy, and my sister's happy, and I don't need to bring Mitton to Bandung with me ~~(TIS WAS A SERIOUS THOUGHT, srsly)~~, and Viren's there, and and and yeah. I'm happy.

I'm happy before because there's nothing to be sad about; but I'm happy today because there's more to be happy about. Hehehe.

So.

Now for random picture:

Romy - rani, Abang - Tiara

OSN 2010 , OSN 2011

I hope they'll get more than what Romy and I got last year!

"Sampe ketemu di FISIP UI ya Ran!"

"Hehehe, sippo! Sampe ketemu di FISIP!"

- Karen dan rani, 29 Mei 2011

Thank Blog

2011-07-11T21:27:00.008+07:00

Things I like about writing in my blog is that when I look back to see what I've written, I'm amazed of how I could think of that back then and not today; how the heck did I forget the truth that I have mentioned over and over and over; and how awful my grammar was (probably still is) and and and yeah, what struck me the most is that sometimes I knew the answer all along; I even have it written in my blog months ago or years ago, but I... forget about that because, I don't know. Busy making excuses? Hahaha.

Another thing is I can see how everything changed, not literally, but I see a development of my writing, of how I used to write about stuff I did rather than my opinion about stuff I did or things I came across (not that I stop writing on things I'm doing, but I did it less than before... kinda); of how cheesy my lines are (cheesy lines are cheesy); and such. I like that. Everything changes and to track how and when the heck did that happen (even if it's only one or two aspects of your life;) is kinda amusing. And funny. Life's amusing and funny like that.

Oh, and it makes me aware that I've grown up. I've grown up and as much as I'm glad that I'm not as idiotic as I was before, I still don't like the thought of growing up. It makes me.. feel old.

One note, these days I feel like everything's so bright and funny and awesome and everyone seems so kind and nice and wonderful more than before. I'm kinda afraid of what this brings, but well... I guess that's the more reason to enjoy it while it lasts.

"The end will justify the means."

—Sophocles, Greek philosopher

Akhirnya...

2011-07-08T18:24:00.005+07:00

rani - Sashika - Devi - Viren - Margaret - Kiky - Ajeng - Omi - Romy - Ryan - Ian

Ajeng - Devi - 'Garet - Omi - rani - Viren - Romy - Sashi - Kiky - Ryan

Mereka temen-temen OSN Ekonomi rani. Nggak lengkap sih. Pokoknya mereka yang bikin OSN jadi seru, kalo nggak ada mereka kayaknya rani nggak ada cerita seru deh selama OSN. Soal ekonomi yang memuakkan jadi nggak terlalu memuakkan lagi hehe. Aslinya dua puluh dua, perempuannya empat belas terus yang laki-laki ada delapan. Tapi yang lain berhalangan. Mungkin lain kali. Mereka spesial soalnya nggak ada empat hari nginep dan tujuh hari struggle di tempat orang yang pernah se-seru dan se-asyik pas bareng-bareng sama mereka. Bentar banget ya? Tapi seru kok.

Seru ya. Bener deh, seru deh. Sayang kurang lengkap. Bingung mau cerita apa. Pokoknya kangen, terus ketemu, terus seru, terus jadi pengen ketemu lagi, terus gitu deh. Seru deh.

Bonus:

Ajeng - Sashi - Viren - Kiky - rani - 'Garet - Devi

Jika tua nanti kita telah hidup masing-masing, ingatlah hari ini. - Ingatlah Hari Ini, Project Pop

She nailed it.

2011-07-03T21:17:00.005+07:00

I start to think of the other bright side of your previous failure: You find out how much you are loved by people around you :) - klaravirencia

Before I start anything; check her site out, she's awesome.

Okay. So. Hmm. I'm kinda confused how to start this post because I actually had a lot thing to say. But I think I'll be brief. Maybe.

What Viren said above probably covers a lot. S'not that I haven't feel loved before; I do. A lot of time, actually; I think I've never feel unloved before. But it feels different when those people still stick with you even through your failure (although, I don't exactly categorized this kind of condition as failure, but let's just say it is). At these kind of time, I just notice that.. wow. They actually care. They are always there. They trust me, even after these failures. And maybe this is the time where I noticed how I take things for granted like crazy since forever. Somehow I don't get how could I deserve all these love; this is miraculous. Can't explain. It's too much I should've cried a river for this.

As I said before, I'm mentally prepared for failures. I think of it all the time. All the time. I imagine bad things before I go to sleep, I imagine how should I give a comeback after losing a competition even before the competition starts, something like that. I'm kinda-maybe-sorta spiritually prepared for failures. Because I believe in God and fate and when you believe in God and fate you should expect the unexpected. But it turns out that I'm not physically prepared for that. Remember when I said that I lose my appetite and sleep in odd hours before the test result? It happened to me again. For approximately four days, from July 30th until July 3rd, I felt nauseous. I wanted to puke at random times, I wondered how pregnant women could stand this; it felt awful. My hands trembled and they won't stop until I was distracted. My palms sweated a lot I started to think if I got a bad heart or something. I can't stop those; how could you stop something that isn't come from your consciousness? I don't know what to think or do because, truthfully, I'm over the fact that I didn't get through; this is too early to be discourage and feel like today's the end of the world, right? So what's the problem? I kept asking myself that. And I haven't found the reason, maybe this is kind of psychology thing or something I don't understand.

So. Yeah. But these didn't matter anymore after I read words of encouragement from friends, seniors and family. Maybe some of them did it out of courtesy of something, but even if they did, I still appreciate it and it makes me happy! Well, once or twice it felt kinda bittersweet; I feel bad they have to cheer me like that, but still, it's really heartwarming. They said that I'm losing what I didn't deserve, that everything's going to be fine, that universities will be sorry for not having me earlier, that I'm good and I'll get through and that they wish me the best of luck and they pray for me, etcetera I don't know what to say. I go aww and I don't think my replies are enough to show them my gratitude. I'm so happy and glad and I feel loved. My father and mother, they don't even... I dunno, they don't look like they're that sad or something. I know they probably are sad (maybe, I mean, what kind of parents don't?) but it makes me feel lighter, knowing that they support me no matter what. They don't ask me to get into UI or ITB or some sort. They say I still got a lifetime to go, that I'm not losing anything. When I got the result, I always asked my father and mother: "I didn't get through, hehe. Don't be sad, okay?" And then they'll laugh and they said that they aren't sad, that it's okay and they don't mind and that I should do better next time. After that I'll laugh too, and whatever burden I had in my shoulder went out of the window. And BANG, I feel loved. I feel kinda bad because they can't brag about their oldest daughter to their friends or something, but I hope they can brag about something better in the near future.

And so, even tho I physically go crazy (I probably looked really suspicious when I smiled to the overseer with my trembling hands yesterday) they makes me happy and I feel really really loved and voila I'm okay again! BAM, really cool. I've never guess that these kind of sentimentality can affect me this much. In the end, being loved is one of those things you need to survive I think. A person must be really lonely if they can make it without loving or being loved. I bet they're super tough like super human or something.

I don't know what to say..

2011-07-01T12:29:00.004+07:00

I'm not sure if the news of me getting into the university could make me happier.

SAD BAWWW

2011-06-29T18:39:00.005+07:00

Sebelum rani mulai, ini adalah pengumuman kalo rani nggak keterima SNMPTN tulis. Surprising? Kinda. Tapi nggak papa. Somehow I saw this one coming. I felt like I should cry or something, because this thing suppose to be sad. But I don't. I think I should and I think I could if I want to, but I dunno, somehow I don't and I don't even know whether it's a good thing or not. I don't mind losing, really. I don't mind that I don't get everything I want and see, the fact that I don't mind doesn't mean I'm not sad.

The thing is, I am sad. Maybe. I guess. Well. I suppose I am, I guess. But not because of the result. I think rather than sad, it's more like.. I'm tired. I'm too lazy to study more. I'm too tired to actually work for it. Again, I mean. The fact that I can't be lazy anytime soon makes me sad. Not because I don't get into the university I have chosen. Oh, and the fact that my father and mother have to say that they don't mind and encourage me. And the fact that my friends have to cheer me up... well, as close as 'cheering rani a.k.a that-friend-who-actually-not-sad-because-of-the-result up' counts. But for the result? Nah. Not sad. Maybe a little. But not really; as I mentioned above. I think my lazyness is my number one reason of why I am sad. Or somesort.

One of my friend mentioned me on twitter: Don't use smiley emot if you're sad... it's not good for you. I laughed. True story.

Because when I see the result (with my sister, while lurking at tumblr) I did laugh. And I'm not that surprised. And my sister doesn't feel bad for me. And when I replied all mentions saying thanks' and thankyous and congratulations', I did smile. So... yeah. That's it. This is too early for me to feel bad and sad because of one-or-two failure. This is too early for me to break down and cry like there's no tomorrow. This is too early for me to actually... I dunno, crash and burn? LOL that one sounds like a cheesy movie title.

The thing is, I'm used to people saying that I'll make it and when it turns out that I don't, I'm used to it too. I think deep down, I know this is what I'll get when almost everybody said that I'll get my first choice, and when BTA teacher said that I should've written International Relations for first choice because I did well, or so they say. And this makes me happy, for one or two reason, knowing they have their faith in me (even tho I let them down) and hey yo, it turns out my results are too awesome to be predicted. Like this one.

So. I love you guys who cheer me up and pray for me and actually care and give me hugs and kisses through the internet, I really, really, really appreciate that. And for all my friends and everyone who made it through, I'm really, really, really happy for you guys. And I'm looking forward for more pleasant news as the clock ticks!

This is one of those things that'll make my biography worth reading. Thank you life. This is awesome. (not sarcasm)

"Tolong perhatian!"

2011-06-27T18:52:00.007+07:00

Halo! Bingung deh mau cerita apa akhir-akhir ini agak nggak terlalu dinamis hari-hari raninya. Tapi nggak ada kok yang nggak bisa disenyumin. Jadi hari-hari rani pun terisi dengan banyak tawa (nggak penting abis). Terus ini deh, belum lama ini ngasih sesuatu ke orang tapi nggak bilang-bilang.. terus waktu orangnya seneng banget; orang-orang lain pada terkesan, rasanya pengen nge-klaim kalo rani yang ngasih deh. Pernah kayak gitu nggak? Bingung juga waktu itu rasanya bangga tapi kayak nyesel dikit kenapa nggak bilang-bilang tapi merasa bersalah dikit kenapa harus orang itu harus tau rani yang ngasih? Ya nggak? Kenapa coba?

Padahal ya, waktu ngasih tuh tulus banget, pure mau bikin orang seneng; syukur-syukur berguna gitu. Yah diakuilah, mungkin salah satu alasan nggak bilang-bilang soalnya takut juga kalo ternyata orangnya malah nggak suka (pengecut abis ye) jadi ya diem-diem aja deh moga-moga aja orangnya seneng. Eh orangnya seneng beneran. Dan akhirnya tinggal rani yang agak-agak nyesel dikit nggak bilang-bilang. Yah nggak papa sih. Disaat itu jadi agak termenung juga kenapa harus nyesel atau terasa nggak enak sih, toh what's done is done, dan orangnya juga suka, terus masalah rani apa?

Nggak diakui, that is. (pertanyaan bodoh)

Bahkan walaupun itu rani sengaja gara-gara ketakutan rani kalo-kalo orangnya nggak suka.

Yah namanya juga manusia, semua manusia emang hidupnya mau diisi sama perhatian jadi wajar kan?

Tapi ya, waktu rani ngasih tuh bener deh itu super tulus abis tapi rani yang itu kemana perginya sekarang. Sama mungkin ya kayak nulis blog. Biarpun rani nulis-nulis aja ya bodo amet dibaca apa dikomen orang apa nggak.............. ternyata nggak juga. Seneng banget rasanya kalo out of nowhere tiba-tiba ada orang yang bilang mereka suka baca tulisan rani biarpun ternyata boong juga rasanya seneng, kalo di komen biarpun random atau cuma sepatah dua patah rasanya kayak dapet harta karun. Mungkin awalnya nggak, tapi rasanya biar cuma sebiji semangka keinginan buat dikasih feedback itu ada. Nggak bisa dipungkiri kalo misalnya rani kayaknya emang pengen dan butuh feedback lebih dari yang rani kira.

Dan balik lagi ke tadi. Nah, apakah keinginan rani untuk mendapatkan feedback ini membuat rani nggak tulus? Nah nggak tau rani jadi bingung juga. Kalo dipikir-pikir ini mungkin mirip dengan postingan ~~galau~~ rani waktu rani takut sama pujian. Dimana rani jadi takut jangan-jangan selama ini rani beraksi dan bertindak gara-gara ekspektasi orang ke rani dan pujian orang yang didapatkan (mengerikan? emang iya) terus ini mirip. Ya nggak sih? Jangan boong, pasti pernah ngerasa kan? Mungkin pas temen kita jawab guru sesuatu dari apa yang kita baru mention ke dia, dan malah mungkin phrase "I told you so!" itu dateng dari keinginan buat diakui, ya nggak? Terus yaudah deh.

Gitu deh. Abis ceritanya. Terus sekarang sih belum ada konklusinya selain rasanya rani pengen jadi orang terkenal.

Why Indonesia Rocks Like No Other

2011-06-23T11:45:00.005+07:00

1. This is cliche, but for starters you can never mention Indonesia without its beauty of nature. Indonesia itself located in equator with its tropical climate and all, means that most of it consists of many plants and animals. Indonesia consists of approximately 17.000 islands; to the point where Indonesia is the largest archipelago in the world. Jakarta, the capital Indonesia, has more or less 100 islands under its reign.

It has so many (and by many I can say it has bajillion bajillion) places that is so pretty, you get lost a few km from where you want to go and voila you just discover a treasure of beauty untouched. Really. What kind of place you want to see? A beautiful mountain? Plenty. Pretty beaches? All over the country. Diving sites? One has its name as the prettiest and richest coral reef ecosystems in the world. Hiking sites? Green forest? You name it we got it. Well, not if you want to travel through desert or paths full of snow, but you know what I mean.

2. Did I mention how many plants and animals it has? Screw that, we have cultures and traditions that probably outnumbered the number of all kinds of plants and animals combined. Not just culture and traditions, we have, like, hundreds different minor language used over the country and sometimes it's not even close to our national language. It's so many; we have only thirty-three province but our dialect and opinions over essential norms can differ from a city across the other. One village can has its own taboo and another has another, and they only separated by 1 km or so.

And religious groups too. Indonesia guarantees its people the liberty to choose whatever faith they want to keep, and every single of them are protected by law. (Or so it says. But you know laws)

It has so many different ethnic too; foreign people may can never tell one is Indonesian and one isn't, because really, which one is really Indonesian? People in Java, Sumatra, Borneo, Sulawesi and Papua (5 largest islands in Indonesia) themselves has different physical appearance one over other for certain province, so how can you compare people's physical appearance in one island with another? Sometimes not just physical appearance like the particular shape of our eyes or cheekbones or built; our race is different.

It has so many cuisine, that when people say 'Indonesian Cuisine', Indonesian themselves probably confuse of what cuisine you're talking about. Go wiki it and you'll know what I mean.

Everything about us Indonesian is so different, that you almost can't point what's the similarity between us except for the famous Youth Pledge: One motherland, one nation and one language.

3. Well, not impressed yet? One of the most impressive quality of Indonesia (in my opinion, of course) is its language. Bahasa Indonesia. Most of ex-tributary use its colonial country's language as its foundation to make their own language right? Even some of it use its language without any alteration. Or they just use one that the majority of its people used, right? Well. We don't. (Please correct me if I'm wrong, you who read this and know more about Bahasa Indonesia more than this girl who decided to write how awesome it was)

Bahasa Indonesia is an independent language. Not because we don't have a choice of what language we should use, not because it was use by the majority of our people, and also not a language used by our colony country; Bahasa Indonesia exists because Indonesian wants to have the language of their own. You see, Bahasa Melayu was our lingua franca before we have Bahasa Indonesia. No, we're not colonized by Malaysian; we were one when Srivijaya exists, that's why we share the language. And even if it was our lingua franca, we don't use Bahasa Melayu for our national language even when Bahasa Indonesia does have one or two similarity.

And for as long as I learn history, we have been colonized by so many country and the longest one was Dutch (pardon the verb, my vocab isn't that rich) and that's.. over 350 years. Yet, none of Indonesian in my generation (or my father's, if I'm not mistaken) is familiar with Dutch. It's like, there's no trace that it was even use before. I mean, 350 isn't short, and 68 years isn't that long, and I don't think the 3,5 years Japan's colonization is the reason of its extinction. So how? This was pointed out by a foreigner my friends came across a few years ago.

How come none of us (or our parents) understand Dutch? Or Japanese? Or Portuguese? Or Spain? Or France? Although I admit that of course there are many words in Bahasa Indonesia that were adapted by those languages. But, what kind of language doesn't? Okay, except Chinese, maybe.

4. Indonesia as a country. Politically, Indonesia has Bhinneka Tunggal Ika for its motto, sort of means "Unity in diversity". One motto that we (Indonesians) really should take seriously, because heck, we differ like crazy. And Indonesia has Pancasila for its philosophical foundation. And to be honest, as an Indonesian who lives for 17 years here, what can I ask more for a foundation and motto for this country? It's already.. kinda perfect. Pancasila is SO Indonesia in a way that no any political views can. Pancasila; where liberty is given and some-sort-of assurance of equality exists. Indonesia also let its province develop themselves as they want to.

Resources? Indonesia is richly endowed with natural resources, they say our land is heaven's land; the land where sticks, wood and rocks can be plants (sing-a-long). LOL not really but seriously, it's rich.

Its people? Man, we're Asians. Asians rock at school (yay for stereotypes) we're no idiots here. And really. Indonesians aren't new in international olympiads. I know three people from my school who got silver each in IESO (Earth Science), IAO (Astronomy), and IMO (Mathematics). And that's just one school out of many, one province out of many, one island out of many. This is kind of biased, but, what are the odds when you already found three in your school? Math isn't my forte so you do the math. And for tolerance: Most of Indonesians are very friendly. As an individual, they are those kind of people who will wave back if you wave when you came across them. The one that will smile back when you smile at them and ask how are you doing if you try to make a conversation. The one that will remind you to pray even when they don't share the same faith. But as a group, it's a different story. And, well, of course this is very subjective of me and it also depends on where they live, but we're talking about generally here; and generally, they are.

It's four for now, because I want to make it one step a head 'third times the charm'! And no, by no means I put those commercial for the products. Just.. well. It just fits. I think it'll grow one or two points after a while tho. So. Yeah. Indonesia rocks. I'm proud to be Indonesian and I'm ashamed of nothing except of its part of government where nothing seem to be working to make us prettier and richer and stronger as a nation. Despite these qualities, poverty remains widespread across the country. Conflicts and riots are still here kinda daily. But why wonder why?

p.s. this is kind of to be continued... I guess.

Makassar, Manado, Marvelous.

2011-06-19T11:39:00.009+07:00

Halo pembaca! (berasa ada yang baca) Minggu ini rani jalan-jalan lho. Mayan jauh, ke Sulawesi. Ke Makassar abis itu ke Manado. Lumayan capeklah; rani pulang hari Jumat kemarin sampe hari ini kepala rani masih berasa naik kapal. Nah kayaknya emang nggak ada yang mau tau cerita rani ngapain disana jadi diceritain Makassar sama Manadonya aja ya walaupun keselip-selip raninya dikit. Makassar dan Manado itu Indonesia juga bagi yang lupa. Ini postingan panjang lho (peringatan) ceritanya rani mau promosi wisata dalam negeri tapi kayaknya ini agak-agak gagal tapi yasudah diharap membantu deh.

Ke Makassar naik pesawat, 2 jam sampai. Hari itu juga ke pantai Losari. Pantai Losari ini mayan okelah sebenernya katanya sih kalo malem-malem itu rame banget banyak orang apalagi sore-sore gitu kan romantis mayan liat sunset sambil makan dimsum dipinggir pantai. rani dan dini dan papa rani ke sananya siang-siang jadi nggak segitu ramenya deh; tapi keliatan kok emang biasa rame soalnya kursinya super banyak terus banyak booth dan stand gitulah. Kayak Ancol dikit, sampahnya juga mirip dikit tapi nggak sekomersil dan banyak gaya Ancol, ini mayan merakyat dikit dari pantai ini kami pergi ke pulau Samalona naik kapal. Perjalanannya sekitar satu jam apa. Itu karena ombaknya besar, belum sampe pantai sudah basah kuyup di jalan. Pulau Samalona kecil sih terus waktu itu (namanya juga hari Senin) sepi terus kosong terus pasirnya putih terus ya mayan main pasir aja rani kerjanya disitu. Disana ada penduduk lokal yang rani kenal namanya Lilian terus dia nunjukin cara nangkep ikan badut buat dijual terus yaudah deh.

Besoknya pergi ke Bantimurung. Bantimurung ini taman nasional terus banyak kupu-kupunya. Masuk aja udah ada kupu-kupu besar terus ada monyet besar juga sebesar mulut gua ada kali ya, besar banget kan, tapi bukan kupu-kupu sama monyet beneran cuma patung doang. Karena Bantimurung taman nasional, jadi masuknya bayar. Berapa ya.. seinget rani sih 10.000 satu orang. Tapi kalo kalian turis jadi 20.000 (ada tulisannya) makanya bersyukur jadi orang Indonesia ya dikasi murah. Di Bantimurung... banyak pohon, terus karena gunung kapur jadi bergunung-gunung (ini bingung sebenernya cerita gimana) banyak kupu-kupu juga tapi kupu-kupunya beneran terus juga banyak kupu-kupu yang dijadiin oleh-oleh juga soalnya bagus tapi kasian juga sebenernya dia dijadiin barang oleh-oleh. Terus lucu deh disitu ada mushola gitu tapi dari batu gitu bentuknya aduh lucu banget. Terus juga ada air terjun yang banyak orangnya mayan terus ada gua yang terkenal. Namanya Gua Batu kalo nggak salah. Dari air terjun ke Gua Batu jalan sekita 800 m dulu. Ya 1 km lah itung-itung. Tapi selama perjalanankan bisa liat banyak kupu-kupu. Gua Batu ini selain dalemnya yang unik dan ternyata banyak coretan tangan-tangan jahil dari antah-berantah, itu juga tempat semedinya Raja Bantimurung (nggak di foto soalnya takut Rajanya muncul ntar pas dilihat hasilnya #nggakdeng). Terus ada tempat air yang katanya nggak pernah kering, terus ada batu jodoh atau apa gitu yang mayan populer terus banyak orang ngiket tali disana. Terus ada batu yang mirip monyet, ada juga yang mirip kaki gajah, wah lucu deh pokoknya. Kalo mau masuk lebih baik pake senter karena gelap dan didalam gua nggak ada lampu. Disewakan 10.000 satu senter besar. Tapi kalo mau gaya terus pake lampu minyak biar kayak ekspedisi Indiana Jones juga disewakan lho tapi mahal 50.000, dan kalo mau di cerita-ceritain soal isi guanya si yang nyewain senter dan lampu minyak itu juga dengan senang hati mau jadi guide dan dengan senang hati menerima berapapun uang yang kita kasih atas jasa dia. Orang yang baik ya. Oh ya, Bantimurung ini sekitar.. berapa ya.. setengah jam atau sejaman mungkin dari kota Makassar? Sebenernya sekitar setengah jam atau sejam dari rumah papa rani, jadi mungkin nggak terlalu akurat. Naik tol jadi cepet deh.

Terus habis dari Bantimurung, kami ke Mall Trans Studio. Nggak terlalu tertarik tapi sayang juga abis kalo bilang "Dari mana ran?" "Dari Makassar." orang luar taunya kalo nggak Tana Toraja ya Trans Studio, berhubung Tana Toraja jauh terus bingung mau nginep dimana jadi yah yang dekat sajalah yang dikunjungi. Mall Trans Studio.. kalo sebagai mall sih perasaan rani biasa saja ya namanya Mall beda-beda tipis apalagi di Jakarta banyak juga jadi keliatan biasa mungkin ya. Tapi di sana ada Indoor Theme Park terbesar se-Asia (katanya). Terus mampir deh main. Tiket masuknya 150.000 rupiah, ohya btw semua nilai uang yang disebutin sebelumnya itu IDR ya (penting) dan kalo baru kesana, beli kartu dulu harganya 10.000. Kalo udah punya ya nggak usah beli. Kartu ini selain bisa buat masuk Trans Studio theme park bisa buat bayar tol juga di Makassar.

Besar. Banyak lampu terus lumayan suka deh mayan nggak nanggung juga dekornya (atau apalah, bahasa okenya) terus mainannya mayan banyak.. mayan. Waktu rani dan Dini kesana lagi ada Moscow Circus. Keren padahal tapi crowdnya kurang heboh jadi pas rani semangat tepuk tanganya jadi awkward gitu kan orang-orang dengernya suara rani doang. Terus main deh. Disana sebelum main selalu ada video intro gitu sesuai sama wahana yang mau dinaikin. Kalo lagi nunggu lumayan menghiburlah. Disana ada beberapa section gitu tapi yang paling bagus buat foto-foto (perasaan sih) Kids Section, soalnya terang terus warna-warni terus cewek sama daeng yang disana pake baju Mario sama Luigi lucu banget kan. Tapi sejujurnya kalo dari seru apa nggaknya wahana sih perasaan rani masih lebih berasa di Dufan ya. Tapi overall asik kok orangnya ramah-ramah banget. rani nggak beli tapi boleh foto sama barang jualan bahkan difotoin sama yang jualan.

Nah besoknya, atau hari Rabu, kami ke Manado. Naik pesawat juga, dari Makassar ke Manado sekitar 1,5 jam. Kalo liat dari jendela pesawat, keliatan deh dari atas banyak pohon kelapa. Jadi makin ngeh deh kenapa di penginderaan jauh bentuknya bintang (random). Terus kebetulan di majalah pesawat ada yang bahas Manado gitu, kayaknya sih orang asing karena artikelnya pake bahasa Inggris. Disana disebut kalo Manado itu terkenal sama 3B. Bubur, Babi dan Bibir. Tapi kalo udah ke Manadonya kayaknya 3B ini bakal berubah tergantung persepsi kemananya ya. Di Manado juga bergunung-gunung. Bagus. Sampe disana kami pergi makan ke dekat laut. Disana ada sewa sepeda yang lucu jadi yang ngayuh ada dua, yang nyetir satu, tapi ngangkut empat orang. Nggak rani foto dan nggak dicobain karena males. Maaf ya. Terus besoknya baru kami pergi ke Bunaken. Naik kapal. Kapalnya besar jadi biarpun ombaknya agak besar kami nggak basah. Sewa kapalnya 900.000 (katanya) tapi karena bagus dan papa rani yang ngurusin uangnya jadi nggak terlalu kepikiran. Di tengah laut, bagian tengah kapal itu bisa diturunin jadi sambil kapalnya jalan kita bisa liat laut yang dibawah. Bagus banget! Ikannya banyak terus warna-warni, karangnya juga warna-warni,terus ikannya banyak kayak bintang tapi ada di bawah kaki. Terkesan deh pokoknya. Sampe sana snorkling, peralatan bisa disewa disana. Nah kalo harga sewa peralatan agak-agak nggak tau nih rani. Tapi yasudah deh. Kalo pas di kapal itu udah terkesan sama karang sama ikannya pas snorkling udah terpana banget deh. Ikannya banyak terus warna-warni terus karangnya juga banyak dan warna-warni dan bentuknya juga aneh-aneh terus yang seru ya ikan disana suka makan biskuat jadi kalo kita kasih dia biskuat dia bakal makan dari tangan kita aw lucu banget kan kayak ikan mas papa di rumah yang udah almarhum. Oh ya, disana juga mereka nawarin mau difoto dalam air apa nggak, ntar dikasih dalam bentuk CD. Tapi rani nggak tau juga berapa, lupa nanya. Terus abis selesai, makan ikan. Ketemu bintang laut juga lho.

Trivia: Ini super penting buat yang mau ke Bunaken, mendingan kalo mau beli suvenir kalung gelang atau kaos mending beli aja di Bunaken, disana itu udah murah, kaos ngg tau berapa tapi paling dibawah 20.000 atau 15.000, gelang dan kalung bisa 10.000 tiga, kalo kalian ke pusat suvenir di Manado (namanya Merciful Building) itu harganya bisa 3 kali lipat, MAHAL BANGET dih dipikir orang beli suvenir sebiji dua biji apa ya orang beli lima lusin satu harganya 30.000 satu bangkrutlah perusahaan. Tapi di Merciful Building itu lengkap suvenirnya, kalo mau cari makanan dan atau mau beli suvenir yang gampang dan cepet kesana aja, soalnya makanannya bisa dicicip terus dia buka 24 jam. Dari pada beli suvenir di bandara.

Selesai curhatnya, abis ke Bunaken, kami ke tempat yang rani nggak tau namanya tapi itu jauh terus ke arah gunung gitu wuiiih terus kami ke tempat patung Yesus Memberkati. Abis itu naik lagi, lewat banyak kebun dan sawah dan jalan yang melingkar-lingkar terus banyak anjing terus yaudah deh. Liat-liat juga rumah adatnya. Bagus rasanya pengen bikin tapi entarlah mungkin 10 tahun lagi. Terus kami juga ke tempat ibadah.. kayaknya agama Budha deh. Maaf ya abis nggak merhatiin namanya apa disitu bersinar banget merah terus emas terus banyak patung terus ada naga juga rani terpana jadi nggak liat itu apa namanya karena terlalu keasikan dan terpesona. Disana ada juga kolam yang ditengahnya ada lonceng yang muter-muter terus kalo kita bisa bunyiin lonceng itu dari tempat sesuai tulisan (kaya, naik pangkat, bahagia, hoki, dst lupa) bisa terwujud katanya. Seru lho ternyata susah banget ngelempar koin kesana hahaha, tapi ternyata katanya rekan papa rani yang nemenin kesana dia pernah kelempar koin dari tempet 'naik jabatan' terus besoknya langsung naik jabatan. Cerita sebenarnya.

Trivia: Manado itu cantik juga lho kotanya, karena kalo di laut bisa keliatan kotanya dari bawah keatas dan kalo lagi di jalan bisa liat kota Manado ke bawah. Soalnya dia bergunung-gunung! Rasanya kayak di Puncak tapi lebih bagus pemandangannya. Terus nggak macet (seenggaknya pas rani lewat nggak) terus jalannya agak terjal jadi kalo rani naik sepeda lewat turunan disitu mungkin bisa mati. Liat danau juga sedikit, terus yaudah deh turun lagi. Di Manado itu banyak banget deh anjingnya. Kayak kucing kalo di Jakarta atau daerah Jawa. Di jalan banyak, di pinggir jalan, di rumah orang, di pantai dan macam-macam deh. Katanya (dengan nada bercanda) disini anjing nggak jagain tuannya tapi harus tuannya yang jaga anjingnya. Soalnya bisa-bisa anjingnya dimakan orang. Anjing dimakan. Kucing juga dimakan, kalo udah dipiring namanya jadi ikan Eveready (ini inside joke sih.. kalo dijelaskan nggak lucu). Disana nyaris nggak ada kucing karena katanya semua kucing di loteng hidupnya. Dari tiga hari disana rani cuma ketemu satu. Agak sedih juga kalo sepeninggalan rani lewat dia habis itu digoreng sama ikan Goropa dan ikan Tude.

Besoknya makan bubur Manado atau kalo disebutnya Tinutuan. Rasanya.. beda deh nggak kayak bubur. Tapi patut dicoba karena katanya kalo ke Manado terus nggak nyicip buburnya berarti jalannya nggak afdol. Terus dimakan sama bakwan ikan.

Trivia: Tinutuan itu cuma dijual pagi lho (katanya)! Kalo udah siangan atau malem-malem ngidam bubur udah nggak ada yang jual. Huaa terkesan rani dengernya, biarpun Manado udah jadi kota wisata dan kalo di usahain di lain waktu pasti ada yang mau beli, tetep nggak jualan. Kewl. Memegang tradisi.

Sebenernya hari itu adalah rani sekeluarga pulang, tapi agak telat gitu kan hp papa rani ketinggalan di hotel terus ternyata agak-agaknya ditilep dulu sama room boy nya sampe lama terus abis itu ketauan terus kayaknya sepeninggalan kami ada orang yang kehilangan pekerjaan deh. Pesawatnya ternyata delayed, jadi kami menyempat~~-nyempat~~kan diri ke Bitung. Itu lho, tempat yang ada Tarsiusnya. Tarsius itu monyet terkecil sedunia, dia itu kayak hybrid monyet, burung hantu sama tikus deh.

Sebenernya di perjalanan inilah rani ngeliat kucing yang cuma satu itu, sisanya adalah pohon kelapa. Terus disana juga ada burung Maleo yang kayaknya dia botak. Terus pas di perjalanan pulang juga sempet lewat salah satu Waruga; peti mati peninggalan jaman Megalitikum (dan yang keren adalah pas rani BTA pada hari esok setelah jalan ini, muncul soal ini terus rani rasanya kayak dapet wangsit gitu bisa jawab Waruga ada di Minahasa hahaha #random)

Curhat: Terus harus tau ya pas pulang kan rasa-rasanya bakal telat nih biarpun pesawatnya delayed, akhirnya yang nyupir jadi rekan papa rani yang di Manado (asli Palembang sebenernya), yang pernah ngelempar koin ke kolam terus besoknya langsung naik pangkat itu, terus motong jalan dan ngebut, dan dari ngebut itu namanya adalah nyebut banget ya rasanya om ini adalah mantan stuntman film aksi yang jadi supir pas ada adegan mobil jatuh dari jurang soalnya ngebut banget. Ternyata pesawatnya lebih telat lagi dari kami. Aslinya jam 2. Tapi akhirnya baru dateng jam 6 gitu. Padahal udah secepet mobil batman terus motong jalan yang lagi perbaikan (berbatu-batu dan sangat horor sebenernya) tapi ya baguslah daripada ketinggalan pesawat.

Terus pulang! Dari Manado ke Jakarta itu perjalanan sekitar tiga jam (katanya sih 2 jam 50 menit ya beda dikit) dan selesai deh. Nyampe rumah deh. Kalo di akumulasi.. sekitar 2 hari 2 malam di Makassar dan 3 hari 2 malam di Manado. Tapi itu juga di Manado nggak dapet semua tempet wisatanya haha yasudah mungkin kalian-kalian yang baca bisa lebih hoki.

Dan nggak sampe disitu lho! Di Sulawesi itu masih banyak kok yang bisa dijadikan tujuan wisata! Pulau Wakatobi juga bagus katanya, yah walau akomodasi belum terlalu wah, tapi kalo mau berpetualang kayaknya seru deh. Itu juga baru wisata alam, kalo mau wisata budaya di Indonesia ini juga masih banyak banget lho, nggak cuma di Bali atau Lombok atau Sulawesi kayak yang rani baru cerita. Kalo mau dicari sebenernya di Indonesia itu nyasar dikit bisa nemu tempet bagus buat bikin hati senang. Orang Indonesia itu emang baik-baik dan ramah-ramah banget lho. Bahasanya juga super banyak, tradisi dan budayanya juga dan aaaah rasanya terharu banget deh begitu ngeliat ternyata kita itu beda banget ya tapi bisa terikat sebagai sama-sama orang Indonesia tuh kayak, whoa keren. Rasanya baru sebentar banget hidup di Indonesia deh banyak banget nggak taunya padahal orang Indonesia tapi Indonesia sendiri masih nggak kenal macem-macem. Padahal cuma dari Selatan ke Utara, tapi bahkan orang-orangnya dan cara ngomongnya beda lho. Ayo budayakan wisata dalam negeri! Kenali Indonesia sendiri dong.

Btw foto kapan-kapan ya. Males uplod ahaha kebanyakan hehe

To Trust or Not to Trust

2011-05-30T05:08:00.007+07:00

S'not the one I want to tell you the other day before, but this will do. This is crappy and kinda corny so be prepared for it.

I just read a post from my friend's (Dillute's) blog about trust, and I realize something. When I feel alone, I know what I lack of. And that, is trust. I already knew that by now. What I realize is that, in fact, I do trust. Huh.. that doesn't come up right (well, trust IS a transitive verb) but well; not mentioning who and what and how, I know I do. I give almost everyone I come across a chance to be trusted and vice versa, but if they turned me down once in a while, that doesn't mean I'll give up trusting them. I still do. It hurts me a little--maybe--but that's what you'll get when you trust people. You'll be disappointed sometimes, because nobody's perfect and whatever reason they want to keep your faith, sometimes they just can't. I understand and I accept that. Even when it makes my heart clenched a little. Like now.

When you trust things, they won't disappoint you like people do. Maybe you kinda feel betrayed when you really need a call and your cellphone won't give you a chance or when you need your midnight snack but they just have to be out of stock right then, but that's that and they don't hurt. They're just irritating. Sometimes frustrating. But never hurt--or at least in my case.

As I was saying, I know trusting people is not always pleasant. But still doing it, knowing it'll hurt you sometimes is not stupid. It's also what I called trust. You trust you to trust people. Or in this case, I trust me to trust people. I trust me not to break down and I trust me to don't mind it when I do. I trust me in so many things, and one of them is this. Because.. you know. Not trusting is kinda scary. It makes you insecure, afraid, suspicious and plain uncomfortable. Right?

But still, because I am not perfect, I have to trust something--someone; force; an existence--that will never, ever, ever betray me. That will never, ever, ever break my trust and crush my heart into pieces.

I don't find it here.

And of course I won't. I already recognized this existence even before I was born--or so I told--and rather than to be found, it just needs to be known. Because, you know. How can you found something that's always there? And I tell you; when you trust this existence, with all your heart, body and soul, you won't be sad or afraid. Well, at least, you shouldn't!

Because there's only one existence that will never falter; that will always keep His promises; that will always be close to you; knows you best; and He has anything and everything you need for an existence that you can trust wholly and eternally.

That existence is what I called God.

Which will always be a thing that some people without faith raised their eyebrows at; but it's not that it'll change the fact He's great and all, so it doesn't matter. Because I know we living creatures are great, more so when we're humans. But weaklings are those who don't know a glimpse of truth about being weak; I know I'm weak--and I need somewhere; someone; something I can trust and lean on, forever--so I probably somewhere in the middle. After all, recognition is half-way cure, right?

Anyway. Trust is a really, really big thing. That's why you should trust big things (or people) too. And one particular existence that is so great, He can't be touched by senses and can't be proved by sciences.

That way, trusting other things doesn't really matter anymore. And now every time when I feel alone, I think of this and it turns out that I'm not so lonely after all.

"Bagus ran, emang jangan percaya diri. Percaya tuh sama Tuhan."

- Yudistira Salwarahmadhan

"Kalo orang beriman sama Allah, dia nggak akan takut atau sedih."

- Mama

Katlyn: "Do you trust me?"

Eden: "Not at all."

Katlyn: "Then this will be scary."

- Otherworld

p.s. Thank's to Dillute for the inspiring post!

p.p.s. It's D-1 guys!

CLAIMED. (sort of)

2011-05-29T16:39:00.003+07:00

HAI. Apa kabar? Kabar rani baik lho. Alhamdulilah deh. Nggak baik kan kalo mau ujian kabar rani jelek. Semoga sampe ujian selesai juga kabar rani baik. Semoga seterus-seterusnya juga kabar rani baik. Semoga yang baca juga kabarnya selalu baik.

Hari ini TO terakhir BTA lho. InsyaAllah. Heheh. Mm terus apa ya. rani banyak ngambil foto hari ini lho. Soalnya udah terakhir nih masuknya besok-besok mungkin nggak ketemu lagi jadi rani harus punya fotonya kalo-kalo ada yang pas udah gede jadi terkenal.

Karen - Rani.

V stands for Victory. W stands for Winners.

Ajeng - Zara - Juli - Rani - Karen

Uploaded with ImageShack.us

Rani - Kak Dora - Karen

Uploaded with ImageShack.us

Kak Alia - Rani

Ada sequence foto yang bagus lho, rani sama Karen ceritanya jadi remaja frustrasi belajar. Tapi nggak rani masukin karena bakal capek. Padahal mau foto juga sama anak 8 yang BTA 8 tapi udah pada cabs sih jadi kesempatannya terlewat. Mungkin kapan-kapan. Terus mau cerita menarik deh. Tapi, karena ini belum bagian belakang dan masih bagian tengah-tengah (atau mungkin masih awal-awal), masih belum menarik ceritanya (nggak konsisten) Mm mungkin udah agak menarik sedikit tapi rasa-rasanya bakal lebih menarik kalo udah ada konklusinya deh hehehe. Kalo udah ada konklusinya, insyaAllah pelajarannya lebih banyak deh. Nanti ya, kalo rani udah menang.

Doakan kemenangan rani!

Dan semoga menang juga!

"If I'm not dead, I win."

—Vince McMahon, ESPN E:60, "Lord of the Ring"

rani facts

2011-05-26T06:06:00.003+07:00

No one cares, but I just feel like writing random things I know about myself or somesort. Besides, it'll help when people finally recognize my awesomeness and decide to make my biography.

I don't like lizard. Because 1) I had found one freezing in my freezer. It killed my appetite. 2) They move so fast and kinda jerky; they make me want to kill them.

I can't sing. Really. Can't dance too. But that doesn't stop me from doing it.

I don't have any particular favorite of anything. Or at least not that I'm aware of. Oh, except in case of shipping. I'm a loyal shipper you see.

In our dining room, there are 5 chairs. For my father, mother, my sister and me. The last one is for Mitton, who joins us whenever he wants to.

My sister is very funny when she's irritated.

I like storytelling a lot. Sometimes I feel like reading a book or article so I could retell them to someone else.

I'm kinda awkward. But I like attention. Well, mostly.

I have a plush that looked like a Grandpa.

I'm confused why people here use word 'Dog' as an insult and not 'Hamster', when the former known for its loyalty and the latter ate their babies.

I don't know many people in my life; sometimes not even those whom I consider as friends or family. But meeting them and learning a glimpse of what they might be are super fun nonetheless.

I like referring myself (and most of people) with a name in conversation because that way, people will remember my name easier and the same goes for me. That, and I like names. It just happens that my name is my favorite.

It's not easy for me to sleep, even when I'm dead tired.

I really like it when my father and I share the same opinion, because I know he won't be sad over things I'm not sad at, won't be disappointed over things I'm not disappointed at and that makes me really happy. Because, you know, as much as I own this life of mine, I don't want to make my parents (or one of them) sad and disappointed because of it.

I rarely cried when I'm sad, I mostly cried out of frustration. And dramas and films and sappy stories. Things are sadder on screen and paper, I think.

Two of my favorite quote are my father's "These things don't matter; I know because I'm the living proof." and my mother's "I'm so proud of you."

I believe in miracles because I know I experienced a few. Actually, I might have experienced it all the time.

I still don't get why people pray in twitter. Does God have a twitter? (No offense intended, just curious)

It's easy to make mistakes and I'd never really mind that. But as I get older, things aren't so simple anymore and sometimes my mistakes annoy people and it's hard not to care when other people involved. Being yourself is one thing, but being selfish is way different.

When one of my friends came back from NSO 2009, he brought a bag with a print of NSO in front of it and used them to school. I told one of my friend, "Aww, that bag looks really cool. I wish I had one." and I joked "But you'll see me wearing them next year." And I did. I even got a medal along with it. Really funny, right? I didn't even mean it when I said that.

I made a note of quotes (and made up quotes that sounds funny) that amuse me. They're over 100 now.

I was three when my father dropped me from a piggyback and I got a severe bump in the head. A very severe bump; because road isn't exactly a place you want to hit your head to. I think that's one of the reason I haven't got my noble prize now.

Mau bunuh diri nih

2011-05-17T22:35:00.009+07:00

Halo temen-temeeeen! rani lulus loh ngomong-ngomong.

Hari ini pengumuman SNMPTN undangan lho!

SELAMAT BUAT TEMEN-TEMEN RANI YANG DAPET UNDANGAN DEH ASYIK YA LIBURNYA BANYAK. BANGGA BANGET PUNYA TEMEN PINTER-PINTER NIH HIHIHIHIHIHIHI (gasante)

Heheheheh

Dan rani nggak keterima lho! (heboh) Tapi rani lega dan seneng dikit juga deh. Sekarang, rani bisa nyemangatin orang yang nggak dapet undangan tanpa bikin orang itu tambah sedih atau kesel sama rani.

Serius lho.

Kadang-kadang merasa munafik juga, pas rani dapet perunggu dan nyemangatin temen-temen rani yang nggak dapet medali; atau pas rani dapet nilai bagus dan nyemangatin temen-temen yang dapet kurang bagus; atau pas rani berhasil dan nyemangatin temen-temen rani yang gagal. Kan rani nggak ngerasain. Tapi sekarang rani udah. Jadi semoga seruan semangat rani lebih terdengar keras hehehehe! Eh! Tapi rani seneng loh pas disemangatin sama temen-temen tadi! Pas rani ditanyain terus didoain supaya berhasil, wah seneng deh, padahal rani pikir rasanya bakal... bitter gitu haha tapi ternyata nggak kok. Malah rani ngerasa ini lucu banget lho! Soalnya, rani.. beneran nggak masuk. Dan, wah, bahkan bagi rani sendiri ini menarik. Hahahahaha :D Dan ini bukan majas ironi! Denotasi nih. Apalagi banyaaak banget temen-temen rani yang bilang "AH elu ran pasti dapet deh!" dan rani bisa membuktikan kalo rani juga bisa kok nggak berhasil..... hmm entah ini bagus apa jelek, tapi rani seneng kok bisa membuktikannya hahaha.

Ih berasa berhasil mulu ya nulis gituan. Nggak kok rani sekarang juga nggak sedih gara-gara udah biasa gagal tapi banyak orang nggak tau giliran rani tumben-tumbenan berhasil kayak dikasih spotlight jadi nggak ketauan gitu deh banyak gagalnya.

Mm terus apa ya.

Oh ya.

rani nggak akan bilang 'Jangan sedih', karena ya emang sedih dan emang nggak enak, tapi jangan lama-lama sedihnya! Nanti wajahnya jadi jelek lho. Susah dapet pacar lho. rani sih maunya wajahnya awet muda jadi rani nggak sedih deh (?) Ibarat main capsa, keluarin aja kartu-kartu yang jelek dulu biar nanti pas akhir-akhir nggak ada pilihan lain selain ngeluarin kartu yang bagus! Abis ini rani ngeluarin kartu bagus deh (sok) kalian juga pasti bakal ngeluarin kartu bagus.

Tapi sebenernya sih kalo rani asumsinya semua kartu bagus hahaha kan semuanya dari Tuhan. Tapi mungkin orang udah bosen kalo rani bilang gitu. Yaah sama aja deh, semua orang punya cara menyemangati diri. Katanya siapa gitu ya (rani lupa) dia bilang:

"Everything's gonna be OK in the end. If it's not OK, it's not the end."

Udah semangat belom? Belom? Gimana kalo... "Bad is never good until worst happens"?

Terus makasih banget ya buat yang nyemangatin! rani seneng banget disemangatin orang! Baik banget deh btw curcol dikit rani disms yang baik-baik terus didoain terus ditelpon sama temen-temen rani hiii baik banget ya rani jadi terharu lumayan semoga mereka bahagia dan punya banyak uang dan anak.

Ohya, btw hari ini rani foto-foto loh sama Teman Sebangku BTA Abadi (mayan) rani!!

Karen!

rani sama Karen kompak ya, padahal nggak janjian lho

Terimakasih juga Karen sudah mewarnai hari-hari BTA rani! Padahal kenalnya cuma bentaaar banget ya--satu semester kayaknya; seminggu sekali lagi ketemunya--tapi rasanya udah lama banget kenalnya! Udah heboh foto-fotonya padahal lusa ketemu (odong) hihi tapi nggak papa kan seru ntar foto lagi deh.

Kayaknya udah deh itu aja. Oh ya emang nggak nyambung judulnya biar pada mau baca aja hahaha. Ngarep tulisan rani depresi ya hihihihihihiii nggak lah rani kan keren, Pollyanna aja kalah.

Kumar: "Where will you go now?"

NPH: "...wherever God takes me."

- Harold and Kumar

Done and over with

2011-05-15T20:53:00.000+07:00

Sometimes, I wonder why I haven't died yet. Not that I want to--okay maybe a little--but.. it's a pretty dangerous world out there, and... here I am, safe and sound. I'm living a nice life here, and the thought that it can stop anytime amuse me in some way. It makes me feel like I have all the time in the world.

It makes me happy and optimistic. Everything seems so small and simple. I feel small too.

Yeah. It's good to be alive.

There are so very many dramatic ways that vast, incomprehensible galactic phenomena can kill you, that every single day that you go unmurdered by space is a miracle.

Cherish it.

- 7 Horrible Ways The Universe Can Destroy Us Without Warning

p.s. Do you know that the possibility of dying from falling over in the shower is greater than the possibility of dying from a scorpion sting? Next time you take a bath, remember this.

not-so-holiday rant

2011-05-09T22:17:00.004+07:00

Hai! Masih berusaha menghidupkan blog nih, sebenernya bingung mau tulis apa. Abis rani belum ada liburan apa-apa sih kayaknya. Oh ya, sebelumnya rani nginep di rumah temen rani lhooo rani belum pernah nginep di rumah temen sebelum itu. Keren ya. Terus unyu gitu deh nggak nyangka aja ternyata yang diobrolin yang romantis-romantis gitu (bingung nyebut apa) iya sebenernya rani cuma denger doang abis rani nggak ada pengalaman romantis adanya yang agak horor gitu deh hahahaha eh nggak deng sebenernya ada satu. Mungkin rani ceritain kapan-kapan. Apa udah ya? Lupa deh. Oh yaa!! Itu hari yang sama dengan futsal angkatan dan jalan-jalan IPS loh! Super hectic banget, itu hari selasa terus hari senin semua orang sms "Besok ada (masukkan kegiatan) LHO!!!" terus bingung banget akhirnya rani nggak bisa nonton futsal angkatan, ikut laser tag IPS doang terus langsung cabs buat main bareng sama temen-temen smp rani! Seru loh! Kan karaokean bentar, terus rani mecahin gelas. Terus nginep di rumah orang.

Terus apa ya. Mei dari tanggal 2 rani intensif BTA, jadi nggak nganggur di rumah. Semoga rani nggak terlalu lama perlu intensif amin, terus rani tiba-tiba kangen banget sama semua orang entah kenapa deh. Akhir-akhir ini sebelum tidur, biasanya kan rani baca cerita atau buku atau fanfic ya terus mikirin itu sampe ketiduran, tapi nggak! Akhir-akhir ini entah kenapa yang keinget jadi orang-orang terus, dari temen SMP temen kelas X temen IPS temen LKS temen subsi temen OSN temen ALSA sepupu rani temen BTA sampe rani bingung karena nggak bisa tidur-tidur gara-gara kepikiran banyak padahal nggak tau juga yang dipikirin apa (galau) cie nggak cie dong

Terus... belum lama ini rani nonton opera sabun loh! Opera sabun lama, tapi ternyata dia umurnya panjang banget, lebih dari 50 tahun! Nggak ngerti itu ceritanya apa aja dan rani cuma nonton di bagian-bagian tertentu doang yang ada pasangan favorit rani yang ternyata muncul di sekitar... 400 bagian gitu dan rani baru nyampe 270an gitu deh. Masih lama banget ya..... oh ya terus seneng deh kalo buka-buka cracked.com terus nemu artikel yang bagus, waah berasa menambah pengetahuan agak terhibur juga abis lucu (mayan) tapi bagus kok cukup direkomendasikan, seenggaknya tab udah nggak meledak gara-gara buka tvtropes.org terus (udah sembuh) terus tau nggak kalo sebenernya suami sama anak sama menantu nya Marie Curie itu dapet nobel juga? Tapi mereka nggak seterkenal istri, ibu dan ibu mertua mereka, kasian................. dikit. (Udah bagus juga dapet nobel)

Oh ya ada deh yang romantis nih yang mau ceritain, (udah rani ceritain belum ya hem yaudah deh cerita aja) dulu pas kelas 5 SD rani kan pindah ya dari Semarang ke Jakarta, pas rani kasih tau (H-berapa hari gitu) ternyata temen-temen rani kayak sedih gitu (kayaknya sih) terus minta foto rani buat kenang-kenangan. Yaudah di H-1an gitu rani diem-diem ke sekolah pas mereka lagi olahraga (masih inget jadwal) buat ngasih foto rani diem-diem (biar keren pas mereka dateng tiba2 di meja udah ada foto rani kayak santa ngasih kado) tapi ternyata timing rani kurang tepat dan adanya rani malah ketemu semua orang. Akhirnya nggak jadi diem-diem pergi deh (drama gagal) sampe-sampe rani malah pidato perpisahan dulu seinget rani (unyu super pokoknya) dan ternyata, temen-temen rani hari itu pada bawa kado buat kenang-kenangan ke rani. BAIK BANGET, untung rani nggak jadi diem-diem. BANYAAK BANGET deh yang ngasih hadiah. Banyak boneka sama foto dan frame dan ucapannya baik-baik. Malah hadiah rani lebih banyak dari pada hadiah perpisahan kantor papa rani kayaknya. Sweet banget kan. Tapi bukan ini romantisnya. Sebenernya ini romantis sih tapi yang abis ini lebih romantis dikit deh. Oke terus rani pulang nih. Sebundel2 sampe tas rani nggak muat. Sampe rumah rani buka-bukain kan kadonya. Terus terharu. Sampe dari tas rani nemu benda asing.

Ada bola tenis.

Bola tenis yang rani nggak inget rani dapet dari temen rani yang ngasih hadiah kenang-kenangan.

Terus ternyata disitu ada tulisan dari pulpen, yang rani susaaah banget bacanya ya. Bingung juga kenapa ngasih bola tenis yang serabutan buat ditulis, kenapa nggak bola besbol gitu ya tapi nggak papa bola besbol kan mahal-- ya terus setelah rani berusaha baca, tau nggak itu apa?

Made in China.

boong deng. (nggak lucu) Ada pernyataan cinta disitu.

boong deng.

Nggak deh, beneran kok. Lupa persisnya apa pokoknya mirip-mirip. Semacam 'I love you' atau apa gitu. Selesai deh ceritanya. Romantis nggak? Nggak ya? Jangan marah dong (siapa yang marah)

Gitu deh. Nggak nyangka sebenernya. Di Narnia pun nggak ada orang pulang bawa bola tenis bertuliskan pernyataan cinta. Terus yaudah. Tipikal anak kelas 5 SD, yah nggak dipikirin. Bahkan rani inget nama yang ngasih pun samar-samar, nggak yakin bener apa nggak. Inget wajahnya pun nggak. Bola itu pun udah hilang entah kemana. Tapi ternyata, tanpa bola itu, atau tanpa ingatan akan siapa orang yang ngasih, rani masih inget sama pernyataan-pernyataan bola tenis ini. Mungkin sampe gede juga nggak lupa kayaknya. Mungkin. Rasanya mau terima kasih sama orang yang ngasih bola ini ke rani, soalnya dari sekian cerita romantis yang rani punya (yang bisa dibilang nyaris nggak ada) dia ngasih rani bahan menarik buat dijadiin cerita romantis. Kayaknya sekarang dia udah punya pacar dan udah lupa sama rani, semoga bahagia dan bisa punya banyak anak yang lucu-lucu.

Hmm kayaknya itu aja deh. Mungkin bagi kalian yang mau bikin pernyataan cinta bisa belajar dari cerita rani, kalo mau nulis pernyataan cinta cari tempet yang agak mudah dibaca kalo ditulisin. Oh ya, dan kalo mau menyatakan cinta, nyatakanlah sama orang yang udah dewasa ya. Yang udah ngerti cinta-cintaan. Kalo menyatakan cinta sama anak kecil kayak gitu tuh jadinya. Yang menarik terlihat payah. Yang romantis terdengar gombal. Yang sepenuh hati terasa nggak tulus.

Oke? Belajarlah dari pengalaman rani! Kalo tidak nanti menyesal! Kalo karaokean jangan terlalu semangat, bisa memecahkan gelas es teh!

Selamat berlibur! (yang liburan)

Save teh Earth?

2011-04-30T22:32:00.005+07:00

You think you own whatever land you land on; The Earth is just a dead thing you can claim. But I know every rock and tree and creature has a life, has a spirit, has a name. You think the only people who are people are the people who look and think like you.. - Colors of the Wind, Vanessa Williams

Silly, we aren't destroying the earth. We can't. Mother nature has her own way to fix things, whatever damage we caused. In fact, if there's anything to be destroyed, it's us. Humans. What we did aren't things that will destroy the earth; the earth will just turn into an environment that is not as friendly as before, and I suppose that'll cause us disadvantages. Like, I don't know, tsunamis? Typhoon? Unstoppable mud from the center of the earth? Caterpillar outbreaks? Supernova? Poverty? Something like that.

Mother nature can take care of herself.

Can we?

Hey! We're the helpless one here.

You can own the Earth and still all you'll own is Earth until you can paint with all the colors of the wind. - Colors of the Wind, Vanessa Williams (Pocahontas, anyone?)

image: google images

p.s. I like that song.

for the sake of wasting time

2011-04-25T00:00:00.006+07:00

Hi!! Eating ice cream before bed time caused this. I can't sleep. Well, it's not that late yet but still counts.

Mitton is a male. He is kinda old... kinda. He's just eight; nine this year. Or maybe.. nine, and ten this year? I kinda lost count. I like to tell myself it's not that old yet but people around me beg to differ. They goes "WHAT?? EIGHT? That's OLD!" or something along those lines. Kitties on youtube are way older. They died when they were eighteen or something. I even read an article about.. a grandma who lived together with her kitty for 22 years (it's that or said kitty was 22) and all that. So there. Mitton... I think Mitton haven't been laid. Since... forever? Which is... weird. Because he's kinda old. I mean, don't cats have some period of having mates once or twice a year or something? Dunno. And did you know that homosexual behavior in animals exists? I read an article about that recently too. I will never see penguin the same again. I wonder if Mitton is homosexual. Maybe he's asexual. My father said that there's this time where he was trapped in the same cage with a bunch of female kitties and he looked absolutely terrified, like... I don't know. Something. Or so my father said (emphasis here) but I am no homophobic so if Mitton (actually) needs a male partner I wouldn't say no. I really want Mitton to have a friend, or partner, or mate, or kids or anything to keep him company. I won't be there for him forever and neither will he. I hope he never felt lonely when I wasn't around. I don't know whether he'll miss me if I'm not around but I'm sure I'll miss him if he's not around anymore. He's really nice. And I really really like him.

And typing about this make me sleepy. I'm sure it doesn't make sense.

Bye!

p.s. For your amusement, here's a picture of Mitton smelling a flower.

Something Different

2011-04-22T12:21:00.007+07:00

NE's over. So there.

Not that it changed anything, really. I slept at my usual time (12-1 am-ish), studied at my usual pace (10 minutes-an hour --if I'm lucky-- before bed time) ate like a pig, and so on. I went to some dinner place with my family D-1, having a mundane conversation like we usually did. Which what we did last night as well. But last night, something was... different.

I mean, we usually don't have a middle aged woman looking at us across the table.

I tried not to care but it's hard if you feel someone staring at you! Or you and your family. I thought maybe she's just staring off into space that just happened to be our table, but after we left, I asked if anyone notice her and my family confirmed that she was indeed staring at us. We were having a nice and bubbly conversation, but it's not like we're the only one who did. And we were not that loud either. So why? Because she was there alone, eating pancakes with her laptop and files over the table? I've seen many people who went to a restaurant or cafe alone to finish their work, but not to observe a little family having dinner together.

I don't know what to feel either. I mean, it was creepy but at the same time, it was kinda sad. It was sad to see her alone while we were together, and by any means we're not just there together. We actually had nice chat, a nice quality time without typing things on our gadgets. I was.. proud by that fact and flattered of a chance that she might be jealous of our relationship, but bitter at the same time. Because if that's the case... that's sad, right?

I didn't see her expression (it would be awkward if our eyes met, wouldn't it?) so I didn't know what to expect. Maybe she did just staring off into space that just happened to be out table. Or maybe she was thinking about how pretty we girls are (hahaha, fat chance), or maybe she was amazed by the complexity of our conversation (or lack there of). Just.. yeah, anyway.

When we were in Semarang (my kindergarten and elementary school days), we hung out almost every weekdays, and on almost every weekend we go on a trip. To the beach, to Jogja, Solo, Demak, somewhere out of the town. When we moved to Jakarta, we couldn't do that anymore. But we managed to have weekends for ourselves and some of the weekdays eating out together. After I went to highschool, my dad have to work in Makassar, my sister got a position in student council, we couldn't go out that much. Once or twice a week. Sometimes not, because I have 3 subsi, I joined LKS and there are so many things have to be done, and sometimes my father couldn't return from Makassar, and my sister have things on her own too, as well as my mother.

But I think that doesn't change many things; our lack of meetings. Infact, I feel that we grew closer. Maybe absence does make hearts grow fonder haha. But really. Now that I might go to a university in the other town, my mother taking her graduate program, my sister graduating (insyaAllah) middle school and whatnot, I don't know what to expect. Just hoping for the best, whatever it is.

This is kinda sentimental and I blame that middle aged women for staring.

And now that NE's over, I demand reunions! I miss my elementary school friends, my middle school friends, my national economic olympad friends and so on. And I miss the so bad! Want to give 'em a super big hug and take loads of pictures!

Owl: [Reciting the letter] Dear Tigger, just a note to say:...

Kanga: ...dress warmly...

Winnie The Pooh: ...eat well...

Piglet: ...stay safe and sound...

Eeyore: ...keep smiling...

Roo: We're always there for you.

Owl: Signed

Everyone: Your family.

- The Tigger Movie

p.s. I cried at that part.

SUPER PARTY 2011

2011-04-14T16:19:00.005+07:00

IPS = Ilmu Pengetahuan Senang-senang.

Hari ini adalah hari terakhir kegiatan belajar mengajar di 8, kalo bukan demikian di SMA yang lain. Berhubung hari ini terakhir, kami, IPS 8 2011 berpesta!!! JAAAAAA (nada jerman)

Bukan karena seneng masa SMA ini berakhir (insyaAllah), tapi daripada galau kayak remaja labil ~~biasa~~ kenapa nggak membuatnya menyenangkan mumpung masih ada kesempatan, ya nggaaak?? Dan kami pun berpesta. Beneran.

Oke kami belajar dikit. Tapi sisanya kami berpesta. PARTAAAY.

Kami mengumpulkan makanan sama minuman! rani bawa pepsi blue, teman rani yang lain ada juga bawa soda lain yang banyak, bawa ciki-cikian juga banyaaak terus ada yang bawa skotel makaroni, ada yang bawa bola-bola coklat, ada yang bawa mi jawa, ada yang bawa custard pudding!! (favorite maximale) Abis itu pesen pizza.

Pizzanya 10 loyang seinget rani. WHOAAA SENENGKAAN. Banyak makanannya terus setelah itu kami ngajak IPS 2012 jugaaa jadi kami pesta bukan seangkatan lagi, tapi satu generasi! YEIIYEYEEE IPS 2011/12 woyy!

Abis itu kami foto bareng. SATU GENERASI! :DDD Hidup IPS Delapaaan!!

Padahal udah foto satu generasi; 2 angkatan. Segini doang orangnya hahahaha.

Tiga loyang pizzanya kami kasih ke ruang guru, terus kami pamit-pamit dan minta doa guru-guru (serombongan kayak ikan sarden), di lapangan temen-temen yang lain juga mengikuti jejak kami, foto foto dilapangan, sampe-sampe rani bertemu lagi dengan cinta pertama SMA rani (blargh) X-D!! Terus foto juga.

XD 2011!! (kurang lengkap sih namanya juga spontan)

Karena kami sangat heboh dan banyak di lapangan ada seorang oknum (entah siapa rani nggak tau kan rani terbawa massa) yang memprakarsai tos di lapangan yang kemudian didahului dengan doa yang dipimpin oleh ketua schoolympic 2010 kami!

Rame banget foto yang rani dapet cuma segelintir abis repot minta fotoin dari atas beuuh keren deh terus abis kita doa kita tos sambil menyerukan "2011 2011 2011!!!" Hahahaha third time's the charm, kan?

Abis itu foto-foto lagi banyak, foto Mesis, foto Pramuka, foto rani bareng macem-macem temen rani. Foto temen-temen rani. Foto guru-guru. Foto bareng guru-guru. Tapi daripada fotonya, yang benar-benar bikin bangga dan senang dan menggetarkan hati itu ya momennya. Pas 2011 bersebaran di lapangan, pas 2011 tos, pas pada foto-foto, pas pada salam-salam. Waah. Kayak.. bener-bener terakhir ya. Maksudnya, besok senin juga ke sekolah lagi, bakal ketemu lagi juga. WAAAH jadi sedih dikit deh kalo diinget huu ya nggak papa. Padahal belum pisah tapi sekarang aja udah kangen ternyata :''' 2011 oke banget! Bangga jadi bagian dari 2011, hari terakhir kegiatan belajar mengajar delapan super mengesankan deh! Super mengesankan hari ini nggak kerasa tiba-tiba jam segini.

tadi super rame, pas rani foto nggak se-rame sebelumnya.

Hari ini super senang dan super kenyang. Dan super banyak foto. Ada sekitar 500 foto yang rani ambil hari ini, sekitar 300nya adalah foto party IPS doang. Rekor ngambil foto terbanyak rani. Dari semua-semuanya memang sudah sepantasnya semuanya super karena 8 2011 memang SUPER!

_____

Puisi norak:

Delapan 2011, interseksi-interseksi yang terbentuk dari keragaman kita telah membuat kita terintegrasi, aku yakin keberadaanmu di hatiku akan sama halnya seperti patahan pada kurva pasar oligopoli, dan apabila kata-kata cintaku kuteruskan maka huruf-hurufnya akan sangat banyak hingga mencapai stratosfer jika disusun secara vertikal keatas. Cintaku padamu bagaikan tan 90 derajat. Aku akan sin/cos delapan 2011!! Tidak ada fractura hepatica lebih parah dari perpisahan bersamamu.................................. (bingung ngelanjutin apalagi)

btw itu ngasal.

___

BONUS:

rani dan Romy. Lucu kan namanya ber-rima gitu terus inisialnya lucu gitu RRRRRR kayak marah hahaha (apasi) Romy adalah pengajar ekonomi terbaik dan terkeren dalam sejarah rani diajarin ekonomi. Tanpa Romy rani nggak dapet medali deh kayaknya heheheh. Dia sangat keren. Dia dapet MIT, University of Virginia USA, University of Illinois Urbana Champaign USA, University of Minnesotta, Twin Cities, MN, USA, NUS&NTU Singapore. Oh ya belum bilang, kalo nggak kenal, dia juga yang dapet emas 1 OSN Ekonomi 2010. Hahaha, nanti pas udah gede ketemuan rani udah dapet Pulitzer dan Tony dia udah dapet Nobel. (ngayal)

rani, Ibam dan Priyo! Kami ini tiga serangkai pengendara sepeda pertama 2011 lho. Nggak deng itu Priyo. Terus baru rani sama Ibam. Tapi karena sepaket jadi anggep aja bareng ya. Pas kelas X mulainya. Waktu itu fixie belum tenar jadi pulang sekolah naik sepeda belum terlalu keren, hahaha. Terus kami pulang searah jadi pulangnya bareng deh. Lucu kan bertiga terus pas dijalan padahal naik sepeda tapi sambil ngobrol pulangnya (nggak lucu). Aduh super kangen deh jaman-jaman itu. Unyu. Sekarang yang pake sepeda di 8 udah banyak! Bahkan ada tempet parkir sendiri.

rani dan Trigan. Trigan ini teman sebangku rani pas rani kelas X lhooooooo (girang) dulu rani pas sebangku sama Trigan sering banget ngobrol macem-macem (aneh) terus seru banget ngobrolnya, kangen banget aaaaa ya ampun terus rani sering diajarin juga, terus rani diajarin macem-macem juga terus belajar banyak deh sama Trigan. KANGEN BANGET.

rani dan Priyo. Temen rani pulang sekolah. rani punya banyak baaanget temen pulang sekolah (ada banyak versi, ada Yudis dan Noni, ada Ibam dan Priyo, ada Acha dan Icha, masing-masing beda kendaraan; sabi kaan) dan ada satu versi lagi dan ini adalah versi Priyo. Karena kalo diakumulasiin 3 tahun nih ya, Priyo yang paling sering pulang sama rani. Rumah rani deket rumah Priyo (agak) jadi pas turun naik angkot dibarengin dan kalo naik sepeda ngelewatin. Bakal kangen pulang bareng! Oh, dan makasih banyak Priyo selalu ngambil sisi luar jalan pas lagi jalan! (?) Nggak papa sih sebenernya nggak harus pindah-pindah juga heheh pokoknya makasih! (berasa Priyo baca blog rani)

rani dan IPS 8 2011. Dua tahun bersama orang-orang ini sungguh seru. Bakal kangen nonton film bareng, nonton Running Man bareng, nonton orang main bareng, main game menemukan barang bareng, foto bareng, duduk sama Lika (?), berisiknya juga kangen, kangen jaket kembaran, main kartunya juga kangen, latian senamnya juga kangen, foto bt nya juga kangen, perpisahannya Armedi juga kangen, bikin tulisan buat Ms. Aulianya juga kangen, semua-semuanya deh dikangenin pokoknya seru. Nggak nyesel masuk IPS. Bahagia jasmani rohani hati spiritual otak mental otot akal jiwa pikiran deh di IPS, sehat IQ EQ SQ kayak apaan tau deh (ngasal) pokoknya FUN FUN FUN FUN lebih seru dari Friday-nya Rebecca Black (?)

Jadi bagian dari IPS itu SUPER. Jadi bagian dari 8 2011 itu SPEKTAKULER. Jadi bagian dari IPS 8 2011: SUPER BLAST. Lebih besar dari Big Bang.

I thought the last day of high school would be the best day of my life until I realized what I'd be leaving. —Zack Morris, Saved By The Bell

Time Management

2011-03-28T18:50:00.003+07:00

"I never trust anyone who's more excited about success than about doing the thing they want to be successful at." - Randall Munroe

Young Enough to Share Bed

2011-03-25T17:32:00.011+07:00

This is a story about an older sister and a younger sister who share bed.

The older sister had tendency to sleep very late because she's too restless every time they tucked in to bed. Sometimes, younger sister sleep very late too, because.. she just couldn't sleep at those times. The thought of being awake alone in the big bedroom the two shared scares the both of them, so they tell each other that if one of them couldn't sleep, the other will keep her company until they both tired and they can sleep together.

And that's what they did every night.

But not really.

There's this night. And this night is different. For some reason, the older sister found it very easy to fall asleep that night, and the younger sister.. well, the younger sister.. she just can sleep. The older sister remember their pact and ask the younger sister, who is half-asleep, "Hey, can you sleep?"

The younger sister answered, "No, I can't. Like usual.". She lied.

"Yeah, me too." said the older sister drowsily; clearly she didn't mean that. "Well, then let's just talk, okay?"

So they talked to each other, about things that matter and don't matter, convincing each other that they're not sleepy yet so the other can feel save until they both fall asleep, when in reality, both of them were very sleepy and couldn't wait for the other to sleep.

The night after that went like this too. Both of them want to sleep early, but they keep telling each other they couldn't sleep.

And so did the night after that.

And the night after that.

And the night after the night after that.

Until the pact between these two doesn't really matter anymore; both of them are brave enough to stay awake at night alone.

Until they forgot that they made a pact about keeping each other company when the other can't sleep.

Years later, they still sleep in the same bed. The older sister said, "Hey, do you remember that we made a pact about keeping each other company if one of us couldn't sleep when we're younger?"

"Oh, I do. Hehehe." the younger sister giggled a little.

"Yeah, that was very sweet, wasn't it?"

"It was, but I have a confession to make."

"What?"

"I lied when I said I couldn't sleep."

Unexpectedly, the older sister said, "I know. I did too, sorry." she laughed a little.

"Yeah, I know." the younger sister laughed too.

"You knew too? Then why did you still awake and talk to me?"

"I don't know, why did you?"

"...I don't know."

And then they laughed together.

Because it's really funny. If they were honest to each other, surely there are a few hours they can spend sleeping back then. But they didn't. Just because they care.

La Fin

Asisten Rumah Tangga rani

2011-03-24T19:00:00.009+07:00

Seperti kebanyakan rumah, rumah rani punya pengalaman dibantu oleh asisten rumah tangga. Abis ya gimana, mama sama papa kan punya kerjaan, rani sama adek rani juga sekolah. rani sama adek rani pulang sore, mama juga, papa pulang lebih lama lagi. Yang ngurus rumah siapa, pikir kami. Nggak mungkin juga Mitton disuruh ngepel sama ngasih makan ikan tiap pagi kan. Jadi kami pun punya pengalaman dibantu oleh asisten rumah tangga (ngulang), dan dari semua pengalaman dibantu oleh asisten rumah tangga yang pernah dialami rumah keluarga rani, ada yang paling mengesankan. Ini mau rani ceritain. Supaya nggak lupa. Mungkin waktu udah lebih besar rani inget supaya pilih-pilih kalo butuh asisten rumah tangga. rani udah pernah cerita ke banyak temen-temen rani lho, btw.

Mulai ya. Nggak tau ni orang umurnya berapa, tapi namanya PINO (bukan nama asli). Singkat cerita, dia memiliki kebersihan diri yang sangat buruk (sampe-sampe mama rani beliin dia perlengkapan bebersih pribadi buat dia), mengelap kaca dengan semprotan khusus kayu (yang mayan harganya dan disalahgunakan pula), membersihkan rumah dengan tidak ~~terlalu~~ bersih, memasak sayur yang rasanya agak mirip sabun cuci piring, mencuci baju yang tidak boleh dicuci (menghasilkan adek rani yang nangis heboh dan marah-marah), disuruh macam-macam juga nggak bisa karena kepercayaan keluarga rani sama PINO ini terlalu sedikit (rani bahkan pernah kena pecahan kaca yang membuat kaki rani berdarah, sampe-sampe rani nggak mau kamar rani dibersihin orang ini), singkat kata dia agak tidak terlalu berfungsi untuk disebut ASISTEN rumah tangga. Dan udah nggak berfungsi, dia memanfaat ketidak-berfungsiannya dengan jajan ke pasar (banyak banget jajannya astagfirullah), dia ngeblow rambut ke salon, pokoknya di mata rani dia adalah gabut dan menikmatinya.

Dan yah, ini mungkin agak kasar, dan maaf kalo ada yang tersinggung, tapi mungkin dia ini masuk ke katagori bodoh. Bukan bodoh akademis, jadi mungkin rani masukkan kategori ~~sakit jiwa~~ oke yang rani coret itu jahat, rani bingung juga nyebutnya apa, perasaan rani istilah bodoh itu udah terlalu baik. Mungkin lugu? Lugu yang agak kebodoh-bodohan?

Ya itulah.

Semua ketidak-berfungsian dia mengurus rumah bisa kami maklumi. Dari kami maksudnya rani dan papa rani, karena mama rani dan adek rani muak dan sekitar 2 mingguan kurang lebih udah capek dan mau orang ini pergi untuk selamanya dari rumah rani. Tapi papa rani bilang kami harus kasian sama dia karena dia nggak seberuntung kita dan kami harus ngasih dia kesempatan buat berusaha dulu. rani sih memang agak apatis ya jadi rani mau dia pergi ya silakan, nggak pergi juga... hmm.. yaudah lah. Sampai terjadi suatu peristiwa yang tidak bisa rani lupakan.

Pagi-pagi sebelum rani berangkat sekolah agak siang (mungkin lagi pekan TF atau mid test rani lupa) rani menemukan Mitton di tengah ruangan terlihat berbeda. Mungkin perasaan rani aja, tapi setelah rani liat-liat lagi, itu SAMA SEKALI BUKAN perasaan rani. Memang ada yang beda dari Mitton. Dan itu adalah kumisnya. Kumisnya. Adalah. Dicukur.

rani meledak.

(Ketawa maksudnya)

Cuma sebentar. Abis rani liat lagi, rani jadi sedih ngeliat Mitton. rani elus dan rani bingung bertahun-tahun rani sama Mitton rani nggak pernah liat Mitton wajahnya sekesian ini (mungkin pernah beberapa kali tapi rani lupa) jadi rani tanya ke Mbak PINO apakah mbak ini tau apa yang terjadi sama Mitton. Dia bilang nggak. Nggak mungkin keluarga rani ada yang nyukur Mitton, nggak ada di rumah rani yang sebodoh dan segila itu mau nyukur Mitton. Di rumah rani waktu itu ada Om A', tapi Om A' juga sayang sama Mitton dan udah sempet bertahun-tahun juga nggak pernah kejadian Mitton kumisnya dicukur. Meninggalkan tersangka Mbak ini atau orang luar. Tapi rani harus pergi jadi rani sudahi dulu. Akhirnya memang tumbuh lagi, tapi lama bener deh. Dan Mitton juga.. kasian deh pokoknya. rani malah sedih juga sempet ngetawain Mitton (walaupun waktu itu memang wajah dia udah nggak kayak kucing tapi anjing laut sangking anehnya) padahal kumis itu penting banget loh buat kucing, NGGAK BOLEH DICUKUR.

Nggak cukup kumis Mitton dicukur, rani menemukan beberapa waktu kemudian (kumis Mitton udah agak tumbuh tapi belum panjang) kalo ALIS MITTON JUGA TERCUKUR.

Percayalah, mama, papa sama adek rani nggak percaya kalo alis Mitton tercukur (nggak pernah merhatiin) tapi Mitton itu kucing rani dan rani tau Mitton punya alis dan sekarang udah nggak ada. Waktu kumis Mitton dicukur rani nggak marah. Bener. Tapi kali ini rani marah. MARAAAH banget. Dalam hati rani rani sampe bilang 'Kalo sampe ketemu orang yang nyukur Mitton, rani beneran bakal pukul orangnya sampe orangnya kesakitan!' (kurang lebih) padahal seumur-umur rani jaraaaang banget pengen mukul orang tau nggak. Itu bukti kalo rani sangat sangat marah.

Kemudian, ada yang aneh juga sama ikan di kolam dalam rumah rani (fyi di rumah rani ada dua kolam ikan satu di teras satu di dalam rumah, di luar ikan mas sama ikan lele, di dalem ikan mas yang warna-warni dan besar-besar) ikan di dalam rumah rani itu ramah-ramah loh. Mereka bakal ngedeket kalo ada orang yang mampir ke kolam. Kalo dikasih makan dari tangan mereka nggak takut dan makan dari tangan kita, bahkan rani dulu sering sengaja masukin kaki ke kolam biar dicium-cium ikan (berasa fish spa tapi ikannya segede lengan orang dewasa). Tapi tiba-tiba mereka jadi menjauh. Mereka jadi takut. Terus nggak mau lagi makan di tangan. Terus tiba-tiba mati satu. Terus mati dua. Dan berlanjut.

Ya ampun.

Papa rani sayang banget loh sama ikan-ikannya. Papa rani super sedih. Tapi waktu itu kami sekeluarga nggak suuzon, walaupun ngerasa ada hal yang sangat aneh terjadi di rumah ini.

Sampai akhirnya... ditemukan mayat ikan DIATAS POT TANAMAN.

Nggak cuma satu mayatnya, banyak (tapi nggak diatas pot semua). ANEH BANGET KAN. Menandakan apapun yang membuat ikan ini mati, ikan ini sangat syok sampe-sampe dia loncat keluar kolam. Di kolam luar rumah rani udah kayak bekas genosida. Kayak camp konsentrasi tapi ada mayatnya. Ada sisa ikan (SEDIKIT!) dan waktu itulah papa menemukan hal aneh lain lagi di pot.

Ada sambel tempe.

Di rumah rani nggak ada yang makan sambel tempe. rani karena nggak suka pedes, dan semua orang di rumah rani nggak makan itu karena rani. Menyisakan... Mbak PINO.

Papa rani meledak. Meledak banget. Marah. KALO PAPA RANI BOM BENERAN SINGAPUR TENGGELAM. Karena papa rani super sayang sama ikan-ikannya dan menemukan ikannya mati TERLONCAT sampai DITEMUKAN DIATAS POT merupakan hal yang sangat, sangat, melampaui batas.

Papa rani marah. MARAH BANGET! Padahal papa rani super jarang marah. rani bahkan nggak inget papa rani marah sebelumnya. Papa rani marah, manggil mbak Pino dan marah. Papa rani sampe bilang Mbak Poni gila, terus Mbak Poni akhirnya ngaku. MBAK PONI MENGAKUI SEMUA KEJAHATANNYA.

Mbak Poni ngelempar sambel tempe ke kolam, yang meracuni ikan-ikan di kolam rani (kecuali yang super strong: KARENA YANG STRONG PUN ADA YANG MATI) dan membuat ikan di dalam rumah trauma berat dan mati beberapa (entah apa yang dia lakukan), dan menyukur alis dan kumis Mitton. Beruntung rani lagi nggak di rumah, ato nggak hal yang rani bilang di dalam hati waktu rani marah. HUUUUFFF.

Akhirnya dia pergi. For good.

Mama rani bilang kalo mama nggak abis pikir orang itu bisa tinggal di rumah kami selama 3 bulan dengan gaji; kalo orang biasa pasti udah nyetrika punggung mbak ini dalam 2 hari. rani juga kagum kenapa rani nggak ngerasa kumis Mitton sebagai pertanda. Atau jendela rumah rani yang tidak lagi kasat mata, mirip kaca yang dipoles mentega berkat mbak ini. Atau kerjaan rumah yang nggak pernah beres. Atau seharusnya dari melihatnya aja udah keliatan nggak bisa bersihin rumah (personal hygiene helloo..) dan sebagainya. Kesabaran penghuni rumah rani benar-benar diuji.

Dan itulah. Pengalaman yang seperti ini juga memang harus dialami sama keluarga rani supaya nggak naif-naif amat kalo menerima asisten rumah tangga. Semoga kalian yang berencana punya asisten rumah tangga nggak menemukan orang ini untuk dijadikan asisten rumah tangga. Karena dia yang terparah. Di seluruh jagad raya mungkin. Jadi bersyukurlah bagi kalian yang memiliki asisten rumah tangga yang bisa diandalkan.

"Nggak nyangka kita pernah melihara penjahat di rumah ini." - Mama rani.

"Mungkin sebutan yang cocok itu ya yuk, 'Oon Si Pencukur dan Pembunuh." -Papa rani

IP[Super] Delapan 2011

2011-03-24T18:59:00.000+07:00

Our house is always filled with laughter.

- Hayate the Combat Butler

X-D 2011

2011-03-23T18:26:00.003+07:00

Thanks for making my first year of high school fun and enjoyable!

High School Rocks (kinda)

2011-03-16T20:46:00.006+07:00

Halo semuanya! Kelas XII tahun ini tidak terlalu banyak urusan. Baru-baru ini habis ujian praktek. Ujian praktek itu seru banget deh, soalnya bisa masuk dan pulang sembarangan (dengan konsekuensi masing-masing) terus seru banget senam angkatan rani super oke deh! Di dua hari terakhir ujian praktek, semua kelas angkatan 2011 senam (kecuali aksel, aksel belum, ya tapi mari kita generalisasi dulu) dan itu keren baaaangeet menghibur, lucu-lucu banget kreatif (mau deskripsinya baca disini ya) pokoknya super nggak nyangka bakal semeriah ini. Padahal cuma senam, salut banget sama 8 2011, maksimal ngerjain papaan semoga hasil ujian-ujian lainnya sama hebohnya dengan senamnya. Ada cuplikan-cuplikannya di Youtube, tapi percayalah, itu cuma kayak PPN, 10% dari keseruannya. Senam di belahan bumi mana yang pake lawak, bawa mobil pick up, bajaj, upacara bendera, atraksi, balet, meja dan bangku, bendera-benderaan, ngecat rambut, kungfu, cowo-cowo pake joget pake pompom. Itu juga baru properti. Konsepnya juga seru-seru beuuud. Belum kostumnya. Senam pake kostum cuma di 8 deh kayaknya, nggak pake baju olahraga lagi. Kaget deh seru. Praktek yang lain juga seru sih. Praktek berbicara Bahasa Indonesia temen rani lucu-lucu deh. Ada yang jadi pembawa acara kuis tengah malam, ada yang jadi host acara yang suaranya disamarkan gitu jadi pas wawancara si interviewee nutup idung kocak banget kan. Sedih juga ujian prakteknya selesai.

Oh ya udah ya ujian prakteknya. Abis ujian praktek ujian sekolah ternyata. Sebenernya nggak terlalu tertekan-tertekan amat sih, abis seneng juga perginya agak siang pulangnya juga cepet. Bisa tidur siang terus leha-leha di rumah. Tapi nggak tau deh ntar nilainya gimana, padahal buat ijazah ya.

Sampai saat ini rasanya hidup nggak terlalu hectic. Seru sih, tapi terasa agak pengangguran. Padahal kelas XII ya tapi nggak deg-degan juga. Urat deg-degannya putus kali ya eh nggak deng mati dong kalo putus. Tapi seru banget ya, SMA. Kalo ada luang terus buka fb dan liat foto-foto (yang rata-rata foto-foto event sekolah, proker subsi dan kawan-kawan) rasanya tua masa. Terus nggak kerasa banget ya ada 2 event yang rani udah lewatin satu jadi peserta satu lagi jadi panitia. Terus sin/cos gitu deh (nggak lucu). Kerasa deh progres orang-orang. Dari rambut yang makin panjang, badan yang makin kurus/gendut (dua-duanya progres kok.. for some people), nilai yang makin bagus, dst. Progres rani juga kerasa. Dikit. Tapi dikit juga nggak papa yang penting progres. rani juga jadi tau banyak istilah loh! Kosa kata rani bertambah.

Seneng deh di 8. Solid dan semangat. Belajar banget dari segala diversitas yang ada di 8. Nggak pernah juga ngerasa minoritas biarpun IPS cuma satu. Nggak ngerasa dibeda-bedain juga antar subsi, semuanya temen regardless dia subsi apa atau kelas apa. Masalah satu komunitas rasanya masalah bersama, agak terharu juga ternyata biarpun satu dua lagi ada yang susah ternyata yang peduli banyak. Nggak tau deh tahun 2011 banyak juga lika-likunya, tradisi-tradisi baik mulai dilucuti satu persatu. Biasa nonton stripper jadi terinspirasi nih kayaknya (Jahat juga ya ngomongnya ini cuma bercanda deng walaupun marahnya serius dikit) adanya kebijakan-kebijakan yang rasanya nggak terlalu bijak udah gitu mendadak lagi padahal udah disiapin macem-macem astagfirullah.. kenapa giliran mau pergi dari sini malah dikasih kenangan-kenangan jelek deh kesel mayan nih. Di 8 rani semua sayang kecuali birokrasinya yang makin aneh terus labil kayak perawan lagi jatuh cinta. Rasanya... nggak demokrasi lagi deh. Nggak Jurdil lagi.. (berasa pemilu) terus ya pokoknya semangat aja deh ya kita semuanya 8 2011 2012 2013 guru-guru dan karyawan serta perangkat sekolah yang lain yang ngerasa. Semoga semuanya semangat, bahagia, beruntung dan banyak uangnya.

SMA itu seru. Belum keluar dari sini aja rasanya udah kangen. Hahaha. Nggak sempurna sih, tapi tetep suka gimana dong.

I thought the last day of high school would be the best day of my life until I realized what I'd be leaving. —Zack Morris, Saved By The Bell

So 'Now' is not real?

2011-03-08T21:20:00.010+07:00

You know how many people out there think how life gets harder as you got older, how tiring, how complicated life is? How you can't be happy forever? And says that those who don't agree with that statement was those who haven't experienced 'real life'? Haven't seen the 'real world'?

I assume that people say this because those temporary goodness you had once when you're young won't be there anymore after you reach a particular age (or some sort) and you shall experience things... you've never experience before (like duh) and most of those things were unpleasant--or most of people thought it was--and they say that in order to warned us, young people, to be.. I don't know... prepared? Not letting our hopes up, so when the time comes we already knew that it's bound to happen. And for that matter, I also assume that if my previous assumption were right, then what they meant by "real life" is the time when you'll face those things I've mentioned in my previous statement (things that most likely will be unpleasant that you've never experienced).

So what's my problem?

It's just.. I'm tired of people saying how happiness won't last. You know what, they're right. Happiness won't last. Innocence won't last. Everything nice won't last. Because there is nothing in this earth lasts forever. So does sadness. So does guilt. So does everything wicked. They won't last. Nothing would.

So why so mad about the loss of childish goodness, when you know that this loss will be replaced by a whole new level of goodness if you try hard enough to survive and look pass the so-called-unpleasant experiences? They always point out the loss in this 'real' thing. They don't mention the gain that we'll get after we've gone through it. Okay, I'm probably being naive. It's not as easy as it said. But still, you know sadness won't last as much as happiness won't last, so why stuck with those awful things when we can just get rid of it? Why assume 'happy endings are non-existent' just because this is real? We can have our happy endings too you know. It's just not always right now and not always ever after. Like everything does.

So.. yeah. Mmm I don't even remember what I'm trying to say in the first place, but whatever happens to me now... they're pretty real.

They won't last forever. But they still real, I guess.

I Demand Revolution!

2011-03-05T10:16:00.009+07:00

Masa rani mau rebel deh sekali-kali. Mumpung masih muda nih mau juga ngerasain hebatnya people power, mau juga menonton mobilitas sosial besar-besaran secara langsung, mau juga terlibat dalam revolusi. Kayaknya ini progress juga sih di raninya, soalnya jarang-jarang juga kan rani mikirin yang nggak ada hubungannya sama diri sendiri? Selama ini apatis tapi nggak tau deh katalisatornya apa tiba-tiba jadi pengen. Mungkin karena lagi ngetrend? Mungkin rani tau katalisatornya apa, tapi nggak mau bilang jadi rani bilang aja nggak tau. Iya, gitu deh. Mumpung rani masih SMA, biar makin banyak kenangannya. Kalo udah jadi oma-oma bisa cerita seru deh. Sekali ini rani pengen jahat, tapi nggak papa, jahat itu dibutuhkan dalam masyarakat katanya Emile Durkheim. Lagian nggak sehat juga kalo rani baik terus, rani bisa mati.

Mmm ya, perasaan sekarang udah lumayan gede juga kan, walaupun nggak gede-gede amat, mau juga nunjukin nih orang-orang yang kerjanya belajar dikelas dan didoktrin buat dapet nilai bagus bisa juga bilang nggak kalo birokrasi udah nggak jalan dengan seharusnya, tapi rani cuma bisa bilang-bilang doang, soalnya rani nggak bisa kalo sendirian. People power itu bisa ada karena subjeknya plural, kalo nggak ada yang lain-lain mana bisa rani ngapa-ngapain. Jadi rani diam deh. Bukan karena takut, tapi karena nunggu momentum yang tepat. Rasanya rani di kader setahun juga persiapan buat ini; buat bicara atas kebenaran dan kepentingan bersama, dan nggak dibodoh-bodohi sama yang ada diatas strata. Dan rani yakin juga rani nggak sendirian! Yang lain juga mungkin banyak yang kayak rani, diam. Ada yang diam karena nunggu juga, ada yang emang apatis, ada juga yang takut. Ya tapi nggak papa deh apapun alasannya diam ya diam, ya nggak? Nggak ada yang berubah kalo cuma diam tapi rani belum nemu pilihan yang lain. rani sekarang nggak punya pengaruh, jadi rani nggak bisa mulai. Jadi rani cuma bisa nunggu deh. Kalau ternyata momentum itu lewat dan sampai akhir ternyata hasrat rani untuk hal ini tak tersalurkan... kayaknya rani bakal sedih sedikit. Sebenernya rani agak skeptis juga momennya beneran datang, tapi nggak ada salahnya kan berangan-angan? Hihihihi.

“100 orang hanya bermimpi, tetapi berikanlah aku 10 pemuda maka akan kuguncang dunia!” - Soekarno

p.s. rani sayang sekolah rani. Tapi.. ada tapinya.

I'm Happy Enough

2011-02-27T19:19:00.003+07:00

People want to be happy. Yes?

I am sure this thing called happiness is something that can’t be measured and varied for each person. For example: I am happy because… say, I have an owl. You may as well have an owl, but it doesn’t mean that you’ll be happy as I am. Right? Maybe for you, having an owl is not a big deal. Maybe for you, having an owl is boring. Or maybe for you, having an owl is one of best things in your life. Hmm.. this example thing is kinda hard. To put it more simple, let’s say… I have a private jet, I’m happy. You don’t have a private jet. You’re happy too. Because although this private jet is my source of happiness, not having a private jet doesn’t make you less happy than you are now.

Not just an owl or private jet. There's so many things that you can be happy about. Like, a dog, a perfect husband, cute babies, a warm house, money, a good job, loyal friends, a trip to a zoo, a nice photograph of a crush, money, glossy car, a thrilling affair, healthy kidneys, considerate in-laws, a lovely piece of cheesecake, and… did I mention money? Yeah, that too.

So why bother being envious towards others? Why bother being jealous? People can be happy over one or two things we don’t even need, why should we pursue it?

Sometimes, you already have those things you need to be happy. You’re just too busy looking around, looking for what you didn’t have and starting to imitate other people’s version of happiness when you have your own.

It's silly to tell that a person can't be happy because they don't have enough stuff. You can be happy anytime. If you want to be happy, don't wait; be happy now.

"People who want happy endings have to write their own."

— Paine, Final Fantasy X-2

Random Friday

2011-02-11T22:25:00.004+07:00

Hallo!

Besok rani dan teman-teman tes. Agak nggak ngerti juga, mungkin karena kebiasaan banget gitu ya ngerjain soal dan ulangan dan TO dan seleksi jadi udah nggak kerasa apa-apa lagi besok mau ada apapun nggak ada bedanya sama hari-hari biasa. Entah ini atau rani mau gila, mungkin juga ini memang yang dialami orang pada umumnya ya: Bosen. Kalo dipikir-pikir sekarang belajar pun rasanya menjemukan, padahal yang nggak ngerti juga masih banyak. Semangat rani juga nggak tau ketinggalan di mana, di laci meja rani cuma ketemu buku absen kelas. Terus kan tema BT kelas rani ternyata mirip gitu kan sama aksel, udah settle sih jadinya kaya gimana, tapi sebenernya rani kecewa juga soalnya pihak lain nggak berusaha buat mengurangi syarat mereka padahal kelas rani udah sengaja ngilangin supaya ada pembedanya. Hah, yaudahlah nggak papa juga, kecil amat masa yang kayak gini pake pusing. Terus ada yang seru banget deh hari ini. rani dibeliin es krim. Dua. Jadi rani dibeliin dua es krim dari dua orang yang berbeda. rani nggak nyangka rani dapet es krim beneran padahal. Terus rani dibeliin minum. Sama orang yang beda lain. Mereka keren! Orang-orang dermawan yang semoga aja masuk surga terus hidupnya bahagia dunia akhirat.

Oh ya, terus kemarin rani mimpi les terus ada banyak orang mau nikah, nikahnya sama macem-macem terus ada yang mau nikah sama kucing; perempuan terus mau nikah sama kucing (yang kayaknya sih cowok, nggak ngecek juga sih), lucu banget kucingnya warnanya abu-abu gitu tapi ternyata di kepalanya ada ulat bulu. Tadi sore pas pulang sekolah dikasih liat guru rani tanaman kering gitu kan, itu mirip banget sama ulat bulu yang diatas kepala kucing di mimpi rani. Lucu kan. Ternyata yang rani pikir ulat bulu diatas kepala kucing itu tanaman kering di depan kelas rani.

Saturday Fun

2011-02-05T20:39:00.005+07:00

I met a lovely person today. A lovely kid. A lovely.. baby. She's 7 months of age. And a real belle. Met her at the cinema. I'm not a really kid person, but she took my heart away. ~~It seems that she likes me too!~~

I didn't get a chance to take her picture. And I regret it so. She's lovely. My. I want a baby like her! She's so cute I want to eat her alive. Aaaaaaa.

Oh yeah, her name's Ashley.

Oh, and I watched The Green Hornet today. Entertaining and pretty funny (in a way), but not that fabulous because as far as I care; Jay Chou made it awesome, but the protagonist burn it all to dust. I mean, one good thing about this person is.. he has a lot of money (and it's actually his father's). Oh, and he has an awesome sidekick. Which makes it two but that's because I'm nice. So I take my words back. The Green Hornet rocks, because Jay Chou stole the spotlight. Even though he need more practice in speaking English. Still, I'm glad I watched this. I missed Jay Chou. His appearance in the movie and my lovely meeting with Ashley made my day.

Mature Content

2011-02-01T18:12:00.000+07:00

I know being 17 and all; I should probably, have matured. Have I? Arguable. But I know that there's this thought (some what cocky) that I'm more mature that most of teens my age... and of course, it's just a thought. "I may not act like one but I think to some extent I can considered myself as mature" or so I thought. (As if)

To be honest, I think 'I've matured!' feeling is kind of normal for teenagers since, well, they are teenagers (like duh) and you know how teenagers like. They're weird! Really! But I'm sure that every single teenager in this world had had this thought. Or feeling. Whatever it should be. Like,I'm old enough for this thing! or I know what I'm doing! or I've grown up, stop asking me where I went or some sort. And for my case, it goes when I realize that somewhere out there, there are 17 years old teenagers bullying their friends, showing off expensive gadgets after whining for some time to their parents, talking so rude because of differences in opinion or race or religion, making things up to be popular, drinking and smoking to be cool... while I don't. Well, I don't really understand how's that make me mature, but.. I just feel like it when I think about that. I mean, can't people see how nasty those things are when they were shown in sinetron? Or teenage dramas? Still doing it while knowing how useless and corny those things are is what I considered as immature, if not plain stupid.

So, after this thought craved in my mind for some time, I have a conversation with a friend. And the result is.. I realized that I can't handle immaturity pretty well. I'm the kind of person that probably won't shut up if I was coincidentally engaged in some heated argument over something silly. I probably will slap a kid in his/her face for being rude, or kick them back if they kick me (which I did, some time in my younger years, and that is not.. so long ago). There's so many other examples I would like to point but can't due to lack of memory. So to make long story short, let's just say that.. when people actually did those things I had mentioned above (those sinetron thing) I just.. I don't know how to deal with those, I guess. And as I said to my friend, I guess the fact that I can't handle immaturity proves my own immaturity. So much for being mature, haha. I can't even tell when to stop talking or when to pinch a kid.

Like I said. Now that I'm 17 and all, I should probably have matured. But I guess I haven't yet, and I'm fine with it. But still, I think I become more and more mature after each day passed, so if until this moment it is not something considered as maturity by society I couldn't careless; I am growing up, and I can cope with the thought of being mature later on.

Besides, being immature is not bad. In fact, it's kinda cuddly, like pillows. (?)

Thank heaven for little girls

for little girls get bigger every day!

Thank heaven for little girls

they grow up in the most delightful way!

— Gigi, Opening Song

Why so rude?

2011-01-13T17:52:00.006+07:00

People have both bad side and good side, we all know that. But to say a person is good or a person is bad.. I think it's not determined by what they have inside their heart. So I think it's not quite right if someone said "You're such a nice person!" Because they aren't; what's nice is their action, not the person literally. So I conclude that, people are bad or good--rude or nice--based on their action. Whether it's sincere or not.

Kinda confusing right? Let me get you some example.

"I hate you because you're annoying but I smiled and greeted you like everybody else because I'm nice." is still what I called a good person.

I don't agree with people who says that these kinds of quality are hypocritical, because it's not. It shows that they don't let their personal opinion affect on how they treat other people. It shows that they're fully aware about their feelings and thoughts and they can control it so people don't need to be bothered by it. It turns to be hypocritical when this person said: "No, I'm being nice because I like you." when they don't. And to be honest, I think most people (or most people I have come across.. or some sort) are nice because they think that it's just natural to do so. That it's an obligation, bound by morals and norms; or maybe because that it's what their parents or bosses told them to.

At the same time, there are people who don't hold grudge or anger toward other people but still annoy them to death and there are people who love a person really bad, but treat them like a trash. Despite their feelings, they are what I called a bad people.

See? Being good or bad is not a matter of heart. That's why you also can't expect nice people to be pure and innocent, and you can't judge a rude people as despicable and immoral. This is a false assumption. Nice people can be rotten inside as much as a rude person can have gold for a heart.

And it leads to this: being a good or bad person is entirely your choice. You can't control what you're feeling or what you're thinking, but an action is something that mostly done with full conciousness, so you CAN be good. You can be nice. In fact, being nice is easy! What's hard is knowing what leads you to act nice; because anybody can be nice when they want to, but not all of them for a good reason. Of course, it applies too if you chose to be bad.

Still.

We can be nice! Why don't we?

Devil Orange: You should tell Cucumber his mother's a pickle!

Orange: (laughs) Good idea, Devil Orange!

Angel Orange: Oh, no, Orange, you can't tell him that!

Orange: I can't?

Angel Orange: No! You should ask Cucumber..."Why the long face?"

— The Annoying Orange, Cruel as a Cucumber

Give up? Let go?

2011-01-09T22:02:00.008+07:00

Hahai. There's this funny story. Remember what I said about being sick? And hospitalized? Apparently between those times NTU ADM emailed me to inform that the documents they needed had arrived but the CD was cracked and I have to send them again before 26 December 2010. I read the mail... some time in 2011. Can you imagine my reaction? Only a few gasp. After that I feel like: this is fate, man. This is technically not my fault (directly), or the postman's (they don't know there's a CD in there), or NTU's and I think maybe this is a sign or some kind. I told my mother and father, they say I should say something about my sickness and the fact that I was unable to go online at that time. But you know what? I hate excuses. I hate it when people (especially me) say that they can't do something they have to and blame it on circumstances. Okay, I don't really mind if people say that to me, but for me? It's unacceptable! I can imagine what they say: "You know what? That's your problem; what we need is the CD, and you can't give it to us in time, so be it. End of story."

My friends said so too. But they said something about NTU being nice and such, it lit my face a bit and I can't help hoping that I might have a chance. Might. So I wrote a reply: lalala I apologize due to some circumtances I was unable to check my email for several weeks lalala and such. I notice that there are some new mail for me as well, one of them is from one of my favourite children books author, P.K. Hallinan, about his new books. Guess what the title is?

"Try, Try Again!" He said: In my 66 years of life, one thing I have noticed is how important determination and persistence are for those people who want to succeed at something.

It was like a slap in a cheek. Or a punch in a jaw. Man. It really hit me. Bad. I think what I did back then (before replying the email) was an act of letting go; a genuine feeling, thinking that it was meant to be. But it wasn't letting go; it was giving up. There's a thin line between them. You let things go when those things are some thing that cannot be changed. Something about 'you already did your best', or 'I've tried but failed' or something about 'it's in a past and there's nothing we can do anymore'. In one side, you give up when you are too lazy to move forward, to persist, to give more effort. You think you can't do anything about it anymore, even before you try, and something along the lines. Hey, people give up some time in their life whether they realize it or not, surely you experienced it, right? You know what it means to give up. Hah, smartass, aren't I?

Back then I convinced myself that I did that because of my pride; that I won't beg for second chance; I won't use lame excuse to defend a fault; and it's my fault, I deal with it. But you know what? When you're trying too hard, you might as well miss the important part. I just realize that this so-called pride is a lame excuse itself: an excuse so I don't need to go through all the trouble to mail the cd once more; so I don't have to reply the email. Hahaha.

I think I can use the word irony for this case.

"Just cheer up, and never give up hope!"

-Never give up hope, Wakko's wish

There She Is!!

2011-01-02T18:20:00.015+07:00

The sheer emotional impact and cuteness of its art, plot, and message can not be adequately explained with words. Having taken five years to complete, 'There She Is!' is still considered one of the best flash series on the internet. A must see flash series that ought to be mandatory to watch. - Tvtropes.org

Old. It's about a girl bunny who falls in love with a guy cat. And believe me, it's better than it sounds. Only five episodes, 3-6 minutes each. Created by SamBakZa.

Really good. Seriously. Watch here. Go, click Play movie.

Edited 23.09.11

apparently the link I've given was down, so go here for Step 1 and change the number in the link to 2, 3, 4 and 5.

Suggestion: If you want to read this, read after you watch'em.

So, after some (somewhat) consideration, I want to continue this post! For, I dunno, my heart is totally taken by this series. I don't know how to say this... Its art, plot, message, symbolism, music, twist and the series literally really blew me away. As it said above, it can not be adequately explained with words. So, I'm just putting some characters random facts and some random interpretation of a few scenes. Well, since it has no dialogue, some people might didn't catch some of the things happened in the series, right? Some people like me.

Characters

Left to right: Nabi and Doki

Nabi is a cat. Doki is a rabbit. Doki has many pets; she gave them green ribbons. Nabi is a paperboy. Cool one. It looks like that Nabi has some skill in martial arts, or maybe not, probably because he IS a cat; it's not surprising that he got some balance and pretty good at running, or dodging things, or jumping, or climbing trees. If I'm not mistaken, Doki is a nurse.

Left to right: Jjinta Set (Sam-ho, Il-ho, Yi-ho)

Got the names from Wikipedia. Il-ho's a nice guy, he was kind of mad at Nabi at first because he thought Nabi was being pushy towards Doki, but we all know he's not. Sam-ho is kind of dumb. Both of Yi-ho's eyes are still intact, he probably uses eye patch just for a show. Oh yeah, Il-ho's the oldest of the three. And they're brothers. Not that you can't tell.

Left to right: Gray Rabbit, Pizza, and Hana

Pizza is Hana's bodyguard. Loyal and dedicated. Hana owns a band.... or maybe she's just their manager or some sort. Once upon a time, she was a singer. Gray Rabbit is an electrical engineer. He likes Hana. If I'm not mistaken, he stalked Hana.

Left to Right: The Band (Red Eyes, Moon, and Pi)

Pi is a keyboardist. Moon is a guitarist. Actually, I'm not sure whether Red Eyes is in the band or not, but he's an artist. Oh, and Pi is Yi-ho's love interest.

Easter Eggs

Step 2 - Cake Dance: Click the flying fish

Step 3 - Doki&Nabi: Before it starts, click the top right corner for an alternate intro.

Random Facts (Or Opinions. Or something)

1. Doki tries to catch Nabi with Poké Ball.

2. Nabi's scarf faded since the beginning of the Step 4 - Paradise. It fades further after he saw Doki in the hospital. Turns gray altogether after mourning in his apartment. The rest of his scenes turns into grayscale. Poor thing.

3. The anti-interspecies romance sign (or something akin to it) is shown in every step.

4. In Step 2 - Cake Dance, Nabi, Doki and their friends were thrown out of the cafe because Doki (and Nabi)'s public display of affection.

5. Nabi (kinda) likes his carrot juice

6. They kissed in the end of Step 3 - Doki&Nabi. (It's just the silhouette, so... we can never be to sure)

7. Doki is a big eater.

8. In Step 4 - Paradise, Doki's collars turns gray after she called Nabi and got no answer. She lost hope (or something) because she thought Nabi doesn't care about her anymore, while the real reason is because he was arrested (with Il-ho).

9. Doki's hedgehog died.

10. In (some countries in) Asia, tying a ribbon to a tree and making a wish is how you pray to the gods. It (probably) represents Doki's hope of their love.

11. In the end, the tree with Doki's green ribbons before, changed into real leaves. Probably means that their hope/dreams become reality. Aw.

12. In Step 1 - There She Is!!, Doki imagine a few things about Nabi with horse, Nabi danced with her (or something) etc., and it came true in the Final Step - Imagine.... well.. kinda. See it here.

13. Paradise is a place where a cat and rabbit can be together. Not... literally paradise where people go after they're dead.

14. The music for Final Step, Imagine by Brunch, is somewhat related to John Lennon's Imagine.

15. There's this rabbit guy that showed up in Step 3 with an anti-interspecies romance sign and showed up in Step 4 as a pro-interspecies romance. Either it's a change of heart, or the frame he used in Step 3 is the kind of frame you used for dead people.

16. It's happy ending!

Source: Tvtropes and Wikipedia. Youtube. Check'em out yourself.

"Now let the turtle and the dove,

Let the lion and the lamb,

Let the owl and wolf and ram embrace

Across the countryside.

Fur and feathers, Makin' love;

Paws and claws and jaws and beaks,

Let the song go on for weeks and weeks,

To bless this boy and bless this bride."

—Children, Children, from Bat Boy: The Musical.

Kolam renang bayi.

2010-12-30T18:35:00.004+07:00

Adek rani marah ada permen karet di kamar ya ampun deh rani nggak inget pernah makan permen karet pake meper-meper ke lantai kamar.

So this is it. Karena rani banyak nganggur, rani jadi banyak kepikiran deh ya. Kebanyakan nostalgia. Terus jadi muncul statement kayak "Kenapa ya nggak coba ini pas SMP," atau "pas rani SD kenapa nggak rani terusin aja kegiatan ini.." dan sebagainya lah. Terus jadi mikir kok rani buang waktu banget ya hidup di dunia, pas seumur rani Kartini aja udah nikah udah bikin buku (nggak tau ini ngarang) rani jadi inget kata Pak Roni, jaman kemerdekaan pemuda-pemuda pas seumur rani mikirnya bukan game, bukan gimana dapet nilai UAS bagus atau masuk kuliah, mereka mikirin gimana revolusi buat merdekain bangsa, sekolah jauh di Belanda nggak bikin cintanya sama bangsa luntur, malah makin semangat belajar gimana cara orang-orang Eropa supaya bisa bikin bangsa makin bermartabat. Terus balik ke dunia sekarang. Kok.... shallow banget sih? Dangkal banget mikirnya hidup belajar biar dapet nilai bagus, biar masuk kuliah bagus, biar gampang cari kerja? That's it? Itu cita-citanya? Sedih rani tiba-tiba langsung galau kenapa kok hidup makin gampang makin buruk kualitas mimpi, kualitas cita-cita individu. Kegampangan ya sekarang mau masak nggak usah nyari kayu bakar, mau bunuh orang senegara tinggal mencet tombol, mau denger lagu nggak usah pencet-pencet ampe kapalan tinggal gesek dikit, mau bikin album pun nggak usah nyari penyanyi udah ada voice synthesizer. Giliran ada anak yang cita-citanya sejauh keliling matahari orang tuanya malah bilang "Udah nggak mungkin juga jadi astronot di Indonesia nak! Ngapain kamu coba-coba bikin roket? Sana belajar aja buat SNMPTN!" gitu. Ada temen rani pinter nilainya sering remed, rani malah agak kaget juga sama dia soalnya rani ngerasa banget kok dia pinter, rasanya kayak nggak dianggep. Kalo nggak dapet nilai bagus nggak pinter ya bu? rani ngerti kok kenapa ada nilai, kenapa ada indikator belajar udah bener apa nggak. Nah kalo udah gini balik ke IPA IPS nih, semua anak IPS itu payah nggak kayak anak IPA yang lalat buah nikah aja pake ada ulangannya, anak IPS kerjanya ngitung duit aja sono di kantor pajak ya haha (sarcasm). Oke bukan soal nilai, bukan soal pembagian jurusan yang rani sedih, tapi sama opini orang sejagad seakan-akan kalo nilai jelek dan minat di hal-hal yang nggak common (Anak ibu menang olimpiade voli internasional? Nggak bakal di denger bu pas arisan, coba bilang anak ibu dapet 100 PR matematika kemaren) nggak bakal cerah hidup di dunia. OWREALLY? Bentar bikin paragraf baru dulu.

Nah ya oot balik lagi keatasnya. Yah. Jadi rani merasa banget ya hidup rani kok rasanya seru sih tapi ternyata bland banget, mau bilang apa ama cucu nanti kalo udah gede jadi orang apa gitu ya, pas ditanya "Emang oma ngapain aja ma pas seumur aku?" rani nggak bisa bilang rani udah jual ukiran yang seharga mobil, rani juga nggak bisa bilang kalo rani investasi saham berapa milyar terus rani juga nggak bisa bilang rani udah mecahin beberapa ratus kasus pembunuhan ruang tertutup. Oh mai. Bosen banget nggak padahal jaman nanti orang cebok aja udah nggak perlu soalnya teknologi udah terlampau oke, terus cerita rani pas masih muda cuma tentang duduk di depan komputer nulis blog. Terus merasa agak bodoh gitu ya, kenapa rani mikirnya... pesimis amat? As if rani bisa ngubah masa lalu gitu ya. Semua yang udah kejadian mau rani apain mau rani pikir kayak apapun nggak bakal berubah! Jam masih jalan! rani rusakin semua jam di Indonesia pun di negara tetangga masih ada jam! Mau seluruh jam di jagat raya rani rusakin pun bumi masih rotasi, masih berevolusi, terus rani masih harus hidup juga, terus apa yang rani pikirin selama beberapa momen di taksi itu langsung ilang. Langsung... nggak guna. rani masih muda! rani masih hidup! Apa salahnya hidup rani diisi dengan usaha biar punya cerita seru waktu udah nenek-nenek? rani nggak tau, mungkin rani belum mulai sama sekali nyari pengalaman seru. Tapi yah... yaudah.

Disini rani stuck. Tapi hey! Seenggaknya rani udah tau apa yang mau rani cari sampe rani nenek-nenek nanti.

"It's not the having, it's the getting."

—Garfield

Manuk Dadali

2010-12-29T21:49:00.009+07:00

Hari ini Indonesia menang lho di GBK. Tapi menang hari ini nggak bikin Timnas dapat piala yang mengkilap itu. Tapi nggak papa. Soalnya semua orang tau Indonesia bisa menang, semua orang di Indonesia jadi semangat terus jadi sayang sama bangsa sendiri. Semua (hampir) orang jadi semangat deh! Yeeey. Jangan sedih ya semua pemain tim nasional Indonesia! Semua (hampir) orang bangga kok sama kalian semua yang main. Kalian keren. rani mau peluk! Yah jangan sampai ini euforia ya, selanjutnya bakal terus sayang Indonesia deh semua orang-orangnya. Terus suporter yang di GBK juga! You rock guys! Mmm harus berterimakasih juga sama Malaysia. Makasih Malaysia! Berkat kalian, semua suporter Indonesia sadar betapa buruknya suporter yang mencurangi tim lawan, main petasan pas pertandingan dan membuat malu bangsa sendiri! Eheh. Seneng banget deh. Agak sedih juga, soalnya mungkin Timnas Malaysia udah usahaaaa se usaha usahanya Timnas negara manapun tapi harus dapet nama jelek di seluruh dunia, berkat? Berkat kalian suporternya!! Semangat yaaaa! Padahal kemenangan kalian manis dan keren di GBK, tapi karena berlebihan jadi bikin diabetes. We learnt a lot! Thank you! rani minta maaf sedikit soalnya pas di Bukit Jalil rani kesel banget sebenernya rani mau cubit kalian sampe sakit dan kalian semua keliatan gendut tapi sekarang udah nggak kok. Terus rani seneng juga kalian menang, mungkin kalo kalian kalah TKI di Malaysia wajahnya pada disetrika majikan malam ini. Untunglah, lagipula orang Indonesia memang gampang sekali sombongnya jadi nggak baik kalo dikasih kemenangan terlalu banyak ya nggak. Yang penting hari ini Indonesia menang di GBK dan di hati para penonton sedunia (kali)

Terbang sangat cepat tinggi jauh ke angkasa, mengepakan sayap tiada keraguan. Kuku yang panjang dengan paruh yang melengkung. Terbang di atas awan sangat cepat. Siapa yang berani mengejar keberaniannya. Sangat gagah tiada duanya. Sangat di segani oleh sesamanya. Tiada rasa takut dan gagah berani ….

Burung Garuda Burung paling gagah, perlambang sakti Indonesia Raya. Burung Garuda yang paling terkenal senang bersatu rukun dengan sesama. Hidup bersama-sama tidak ada rasa iri. Saling mengasihi tidak pernah takut mati. Burung Garuda perlambang gagah perkasa untuk seluruh bangsa di Negara Indonesia.

Arti Manuk Dadali - Lagu Daerah Jawa Barat

Liburan

2010-12-28T15:23:00.003+07:00

Halo!

rani pulang dari rumah sakit. Karena rani sakit. Tapi sekarang rani sudah sembuh lho. Untung ya sakitnya pas liburan. Pertama kalinya dalam sejarah hidup rani rani dijenguk. rani dijenguk Ghassarin. Sama Mbak Dyah. Mmm terus apa ya. rani sebelumnya pernah sakit juga tapi rani nggak pernah masuk rumah sakit. Sebelumnya rani pernah chikungunya dan cacar. Cacar udah biasa ya? Kalo chikungunya udah pernah ngerasain belum? Chikungunya itu rasanya pinggang rani copot. Literally. rani bangun dengan keadaan merangkak ke kamar mandi kayak keluar dari film horor. Mmmm kayak penyakit capek gitu, badan rani pegel semua kayak apa ya, tulang rani berasa lego bisa bongkar pasang. Tapi rani sembuh nggak lama, rani pas chikungunya malah heboh banget (biasa) terus pas mau ke sekolah rani nggak dibolehin temen rani, terus rani bilang, "Nggak papa kan rani chikungunya bukan DB jadi nggak bikin mati" Terus sekarang rani DB. Tapi rasanya nggak kayak mau mati kok. Rasanya biasa aja. Terus rani jadi tipes juga. Kayaknya emang sepaket deh sama DB. Terus rani jadi inget pas rani SMP guru rani pernah tipes terus rani pernah bilang: "Eh Pak ***** kita kirim jeruk yuk biar nggak balik-balik" Jahat ya.

Love

2010-12-04T22:46:00.009+07:00

I don't know what love means. But I'm pretty sure I've experienced it. And not once, not twice, not thrice. A lot. I don't know why people give a lot of damn about this love thing--yet, maybe-- but whatever the reason, they don't have too. What's the difference between one love to another? Nothing, I guess. Do people really have to get married if they love each other? I thought marriage is just a way to have a legal relationship that both government and religion accepted. A way to have a legal sex, a way to make a family. Which is actually, something you can have with everyone as long as they're an opposite gender. And of course I loved to have a family with a person I love. Which is many, but I don't have to marry them all, right? Only one lucky person. Or unlucky. Or something.

I believe that love is something that can grow, love is not something that came out of nowhere. Love itself never has a thing with sex, with kisses, with hugs or anything. It's just a physical needs, you can do it with anyone--that's why there are people out there selling their bodies to make money. When you want to protect someone, you care about someone more than anyone else, is it really love? Maybe it is. But maybe it's just the same with your so-called other love towards anyone else (like father, mother, grandpa, friends, presidents whatever) but with more intensity, more thoughts, more emotion or something. But still.. the same love. Like, you can dress a barbie with any clothes or anything, but whatever she wears she's still a barbie... right? Bad analogy, I know. Love is not that shallow. I know. I don't know what love means. But I'm sure I've experienced it.

"NO, you're wrong. It's not the same. That's not love LOVE you're talking about. You haven't experienced real love."

Maybe. But people, if it's not love, what could it be? Enlighten me. Tell me I'm wrong.

Because really.

Everyone deserves love. Do we really have to pick one person we have to love LOVE, when everyone deserves it?

Lin: What's going on?

Kamajii: Something you wouldn't recognize. It's called "love".

— Spirited Away

curhat

2010-12-02T20:31:00.003+07:00

Ola mon ami (nggak konsisten) rani ngepost lagi nih. Kalo rani liat postingan blog rani rasanya banyak.. terus rasanya hari demi hari gantinya lambat amat. Padahal tiba-tiba ini udah 2 tahun lebih nih jadi anak SMAan. Udah 2 tahunan lebih juga rani membuat blog ini. Yang sebelumnya buat curhat pelajaran, buat curhat tugas, makin lama makin curhat aneh.

rani abis baca postingannya temen rani. Bagus-bagus deh. You should read'em too. Kesini nih. Ya pokoknya bagus harus baca. Terus ini nih, rani udah kelas XII jadi rasanya ada komentar penting yang semua kelas XII harus bikin. SMA seru ya. Never thought that it would be this fun. Dan nggak kerasa juga secepat ini. Sentimental banget ini kalimatnya tapi gitu deh. Ada yang bilang kelas XI seru, kelas X seru, tapi kalo rani semuanya seruuuuu banget deh. rani bener-bener menikmati detik-detik rani di kelas X, XI dan XII rani walaupun XIInya belum berakhir. Mungkin nggak kerasa pas lagi momen berlangsungnya ya. Tapi selalu gitu kan ya. Kita kan nggak bisa komentar kalo belum selesai baca ceritanya sampe abis. rani juga belum bisa komentar kayaknya. Tapi rani mungkin nggak punya waktu buat komentar kalo di buat nanti-nanti jadi rani komen sekarang.

Beberapa temen IPS rani banyak yang komentar soal anak IPA yang ngambil jurusan IPS di kuliah. Beberapa kesel karena 'mereka ambil jatah IPS' katanya. Padahal kan nggak masalah ya, orang anak IPS juga bisa kalo mau ngambil IPA. Anak IPS juga pinter-pinter, kenapa harus minder sama anak IPA yang baru belajar IPS sekian bulan bimbel padahal sendirinya udah tahunan dijejelin IPS? Ya nggaaak. Kalo mereka berhasil berarti kan emang usahanya keras! Ada orang yang minat IPS tapi masuk IPA karena ada yang mau dicapai, ya nggak papa sih kenapa sewot amat. Entah prestise, atau melatih kemampuan mikir atau apalah mau ngambil apalah ya kan urusan orang, lagian kan nggak segitunya mudah buat ngejer toh. Jangan mereasa inferior gitu, it's their loss lagian, waktu rani milih IPS tahun lalu adalah rani nggak mau menghabiskan waktu dua tahun rani di SMA untuk belajar sesuatu yang nggak akan rani pelajari dalam kehidupan rani secara nyata 4 tahun kedepannya. Ada orang yang nggak masalah belajar IPA 2 tahun buat dapet nilai bagus kemudian 4 tahun makan kurva penawaran. Ada juga yang puas belajar IPA 2 tahun supaya orang tuanya bangga.

Terus ngerasa ini deh, generasi muda sekarang hebat-hebat banget yaa, rasanya minder banget rani kayak, udah ke level inhuman gitu orang-orang semuanya. Gitu deh. Sulit dikatakan. Emang manusia bisa ngapain aja sih rani percaya, tapi ketika rani disodorkan dengan kenyataan itu rani semakin kesian soalnya rani belum bisa jadi orang kayak gitu tuh, mengeluarkan potensi diri dengan baik dan maksimal sampe ke level diakui orang. Orang umur sekian tapi ngegesek senar biola udah kayak numis nasi goreng, baru lulus SMP langsung ikut olimpiade internasional terus dapet medali, ada juga yang udah pinter pelajaran; pinter gambar; pinter main musik. Mungkin kalo ditelusuri dia juga pinter berenang dan makannya cepet.

Urk. rani pun belum belajar geografi. Terus sebel deh. rani sedih nih kalo temen-temen rani nyontek pas ulangan.... misalnya gini deh, kamu berdoa sama Tuhan Yang Maha Esa supaya nilai kamu bagus-bagus, lalala, tapi nyontek. Kayak nggak percaya gitu kan sama Tuhan? Kan kita udah minta! Kalo emang doa ya seharusnya kan berprasangka baik gitu ya udah usaha, udah doa, tinggal tawakal, pasrah mau apa aja udah jalan yang terbaik berarti. Tapi nyontek. Yah.. itu kayak ngantri sembako dapet giliran ke 1000 dia malah memutuskan buat pulang pas antrian ke 999 udah di paling depan karena udah capek. Seneng banget ya dapet nilai bagus? Buat apa sekolah terus naik kelas kalo gitu mah TK aja terus bisa dapet stiker tiap pertemuan deh karena bagus terus nilainya. rani juga seneng banget kalo nilai rani bagus, tapi kalo bangga nilai bagus padahal nggak ngerti kan usaha penipuan diri banget itu namanya... Eh ngomong-ngomong nilai bagus rani seneng deh temen-temen rani di kelas nilainya jadi progres banget jadi pada bagus-bagus heheheh seneng deh. Nilai rani juga masih lumayan, biarpun nggak no 1 lagi; temen-temen rani pada bagus-bagus amat soalnya! Hebat ya!

Terimakasih kepada blog rani, karena rani bacot banget dan dia nggak pernah marah.

Ngomong-ngomong, pernah lucu deh. Waktu itu rani selesai ujian apaa gitu ya masih ada sisa waktu rani tidur terus rani mimpi ulangan matematika. Padahal rani tidur cuma 10 menit hahahaa. Waktu itu rani ulangan apa rani lupa, tapi ternyata anak IPA pada saat yang sama emang lagi ulangan matematika hahaha.

Dream

2010-11-28T18:43:00.004+07:00

I experienced the longest lucid dream I've ever had this morning. Which is really, really funny, because usually, when I realized "WTH, I'm dreaming right now." I wake up a moment after. Eheheh.

Never heard of lucid dream?

A lucid dream, in simplest terms, is a dream in which one is aware that one is dreaming. - Wikipedia, Lucid Dream

I know I experienced it a lot, probably since early days in junior high school--maybe older--but I never had the one so long, so... wah, and the thing is, I never knew that those dreams were lucid dreams until I found an article about it. Recently. Not so recently, but... okay, not so long ago.

And that is really funny, because when I saw the article, it says that when you experienced lucid dream, you can particularly do ANYTHING you wanted. Like, something. But everytime I experienced them, the only thing I want to do is waking up. What a shame, right? I can practically do ANYTHING I wanted (or so it said), like flying, or walking in the air, being a professional football player, visit Venice, meet Leonardo da Vinci, or something.

And like usual, it happened again this morning and when I realise it's a dream, I said it out loud to my friends "GUYS! It's a dream!" and one said, "How do you know?" and I think I said "I have to wake me up!" which is really stupid and then start pinching myself. It didn't work and that act just convinced me that I really AM dreaming. After that, I jumped out of the window from 3rd floor, and said "It's okay guys! You'll be okay! It's in my dream!" and then I go to the parking lot and met a friend with a really cool car that can fly, I rode in, and we're flying like dorks, stupidity ensues. I did those things (in my dream) just to be awake. I even tried to drowned myself! Which is, of course, failed to wake me up back then.

I forgot how I woke up, but I'm glad I finally did. It's a fun thought after you woke up, but when you're dreaming, it's kinda tiring.

Got to be careful. You spend too much time swinging from that jungle gym inside your skull and you'll fall right off the bars.

— Narrator, Little Worlds

There's Only One of You

2010-11-26T19:53:00.007+07:00

There are fifty thousand different kinds of animals and there are fifty thousand more that used to be. There's a hundred million ants and half a billion plants and a lot of fish down underneath the sea. There's gotta be a couple million spiders, a hundred-fifty million butterflies and bees and a bunch of different mammals; like those elephants and camels. And approximately fifty billion trees

But there is only one of you, that makes you special. You stand out among the other things; it's true. Yes, the universe is large and whoever is in charge made lots of things, but only one of you.

A one, a two, a three, and a four, a thousand and a million and a billion or more. There's a trillion drops of water in the ocean and a billion trillion molecules of air. There are insects here en masse and a trillion blades of grass and a thousand strands in every head of hair. A lot of little grains of dirt make up this planet. A billion atoms on the head of every pin.

A million birds that all can fly, a trillion stars up in the sky--and all the many different people there have been.

But there is only one of you, that makes you special. Yes, there is nothing else exactly like you are. 'Cause you're unique and you're terrific and you're kind of real specific.

'Cause there's no one else the same as the person you became. In fact, you're kind of weird, but we like you just the same!

'Cause you're the only one of you there are.

Ba ba doop mm

Ba ba doo ba!

There's Only One of You

Warner Brothers and Sister

Yakko's World Album

We protest you calling us "little kids". We prefer to be called "vertically-impaired pre-adults"

- Yakko Warner

p.s. Remember this post? I am happy to know that Yakko, Wakko and Dot agree with me... somewhat.

Takdir

2010-11-22T21:29:00.006+07:00

Halo! Bosen ya rani ngepost tiap hari? Heheh nggak papa, rani bakal cepet kok! rani sekarang mau coba pola tidur yang bagus, yang cepat tidur cepat bangun, karena rani tidurnya kayak orbit Pluto nih akhir-akhir ini. Padahal sebelumnya rani kalo tidur cepet biasanya bangunnya lebih lama (alam bawah sadar yang ngelunjak), tapi perubahan harus dimulai, ya nggak? Kebiasaan kan sesuatu yang bisa diciptakan. Curhat dikit. Nah terus apa ya. Oh ya hari ini rani ngobrol sama temen rani, Siti. Soal pernikahan beda agama terus jadi nyambung ke soal gaya hidup sama degradasi moral di jaman sekarang, terus nyambung lagi ke korelasi kebenaran ajaran agama sama gaya hidup dan degradasi moral tadi. Kalo ditulis kayak keren ya tapi sebenernya ngomongin biasa aja. Terus-terus, malam ini rani dapet sms gini dari Kak Nana.

"Sesungguhnya datangnya Islam dianggap asing (aneh) dan akan datang kembali asing. Namun berbahagialah orang-orang asing itu. Sahabat bertanya, "Ya Rasulullah, apa yang dimaksud orang asing (aneh) itu?" Rasulullah menjawab, "Orang-orang yang melakukan kebaikan-kebaikan di saat orang-orang melakukan pengrusakan." (HR Muslim)

Kemudian ada sms lagi. Kali ini dari Diana.

"Sesungguhnya Al-Qur'an ini memberi petunjuk kepada (jalan) yang lebih lurus dan memberi kabar gembira kepada orang-orang mukmin yang mengerjakan amal saleh bahwa bagi mereka ada pahala yang lebih besar." (Al Isra' : 9)

Kebetulan? I don't think so.

There is no such thing as coincidences in this world. There is only the inevitable. - Ichihara Yuuko, xxxHolic

menyemangati diri

2010-11-21T00:51:00.005+07:00

Kadang kepikiran deh, sekarang kan rani lagi di masa lagi labil-labil banget kan ya, rani kadang ragu nih, apakah rani bener-bener minat bakat dan segala macemnya bener-bener sesuai sama pilihan rani. Soalnya... ya... rani nggak pernah ada hal yang rani particularly sukaaaa banget dan benciiiii banget sedunia sejagad raya sealam semesta, mata pelajaran yang rani suka banget nggak ada, yang rani benci banget nggak ada, makanan juga nggak, hobi juga ganti-ganti, mainan juga ganti-ganti, rani nggak terlalu inget apa yang rani nggak berubah. Yang nggak berubah adalah rani terlalu dinamis dan terlalu fleksibel. Kayaknya. rani lebih jago multitasking dari pada fokus. Dibilang nilai matematika rani bagus... rani payah sebenernya dalam kalkulasi. Mungkin dari anak satu sekolah rani rani yang paling payah ngitung, masih ada nggak temen-temen yang salah 3^2 sama 3x2? rani masih sering. 8 kali 7 sama 8 kali 6 aja masih sering salah.. ngitung belasan masih pake jari. Bahasa Indonesia apalagi. Ekonomi? rani takjub rani bisa masuk OSN karena jujur aja rani belajar aja kayak buaya dikasih sayur kangkung. Intinya rani nggak ada kebisaan spesial-spesial amat, tapi kalo payah nggak ada yang payah-payah amat.

Kira-kira orang kayak rani bakal survive nggak nih, di masa depan yang segala profesi diisi sama orang-orang yang punya spesialisasi di bidang itu?

Terus temen rani, Lika, pernah nanya gini:

"Ran, menurut lo, kuliah itu buat ngembangin potensi yang udah lo punya, apa buat belajar sesuatu lo perluin buat ke depannya?"

Jujur aja rani bingung. rani sendiri, kuliah mau apa? Kenapa? Karena yang yang former, apa yang latter? Mungkin dua-duanya.

Terus rani jadi bodo amat sama kebisaan rani apaan. Atau apa rani bakal survive apa nggak. Ternyata rani merasa konyol banget. Kok yang kayak gitu dipikirin ya? Padahal rani udah yakin kan. Kan rani udah milih! Ya nggak? rani yang hari ini lebih tau apa yang rani butuhin hari ini, bukan rani yang kemaren atau rani yang di masa depan. Buat apa rani mikirin apa yang rani butuhin di masa depan kalo yang di masa depan aja belum tentu ada, dan rani yang hari ini punya passion di hal ini nih! Bukannya justru uncertainty itu yang bisa bikin rani yakin, yang bisa bikin rani membuat pilihan? Karena di dunia ini nggak ada yang pasti makanya rani berusaha terus, rani belajar biarpun rani nggak segitunya hobi, biarlah rani jadi buaya yang makan sayur kangkung dan dapet perunggu. Karena ada yang namanya takdir rani jadi ikhlas sama semua yang kejadian, sama semua yang rani terima dan alami, soalnya emang itu yang terbaik! rani nggak pernah ngarep gagal, tapi seandainya rani gagal pun nggak papa. Gagal itu bukan pilihan! Gagal itu hadiah juga sama kayak yang lain-lain, makanya rani nyoba nih. rani nekat nih. rani semangat banget nih nekatnya biarpun belajarnya belum sesemangat rani nekat.

Sewaktu rani SD, kelas... 2 atau 3, pas rani pulang sekolah dan mikir sepanjang jalan kaki ke rumah, rani nggak pernah nyangka rani dikasih anugrah yang banyak dari Tuhan. Tapi hidup juga siklikal, kalo rani berhasil lewat masa-masa sulit yang sebelumnya, rani yakin nanti kalo ketemu masa-masa sulit yang lain rani juga pasti bisa deh! Biarpun sulitnya udah naik level, rani kan juga udah naik level! Kan Allah udah bilang kalo kita nggak bakal dapet kesulitan yang nggak se-level sama kita, ya ngggaaaaak. Sekarang lagi masa rani diatas mungkin, tapi hidup kayak kurva nih, kalo nggak dipertahanin dan dibuat progres bakalan jatuh kebawah.

rani bakal jadi seorang yang pesimis yang nggak akan menyerah! Menyerahnya nanti pas udah berhasil. Atau udah sampe ke keberhasilan something-something. rani nggak mau kalah sama nilai-nilai rani! Dasar nilai pembuat manusia terlena, dasar nilai pembuat orang tidak kreatif! Dasar nilai pembuat murid-murid jadi tidak cerdas! rani pasti bakal menang! rani bakal mengalahkan nilai dan menang, rani bakal perang sama degradasi moril dan menang, rani bakal menang bahkan saat rani kalah! rani bakal menang bahkan pas rani nggak melawan apapun! Nanti kalo rani udah menang, rani mau pelihara anjing sama lumba-lumba sama burung hantu sama firefox. rani juga mau pelihara beruang kutub sama harimau putih. Biar Mitton punya temen yang banyak. rani mau joget sama binatang-binatang warna-warni yang joget dibawah rembulan, yang pura-pura mati pas ada orang lewat! Ntar, di surga.

rani nggak mungkin sendirian! Biar rani satu diantara sejuta, diantara dua juta dan tiga juta kan rani nggak cuma satu! Yeeeeeyy.

Terus kapan rani belajarnya ya.

"Oh, that… well… since I believe I can do the impossible, I just don’t think about it and do the impossible."

—Michael Garcia, The Impossible Man

Sincerity

2010-11-19T16:49:00.008+07:00

I'm sure there's a time when they doubt me. I'm sure there's a time when I doubt myself. There's a time when I doubt everything, as if the world hated me, but that doesn't change the fact that I should never stop fighting. That doesn't change the fact that I have to struggle and work despite all these limitation, doing my best with these short-lived life, being good at being human. Human is full of flaws. Why should we deny it? I'm human, I have flaws too. I'll get a bad score if I don't study hard enough. I don't like swimming and I easily get tired. I'm an awful singer, and a this list could go on and on. I have learnt to accept that. I learnt that there are things that I can't change forever, and there are things that I can't change now.

I may have failed, I may have succeed, but no matter what happened to me the clock won't stop ticking. Tomorrow will come and I could always start again. Life is never that simple, but what makes it complicated is how you look at it. You think you're essential? Try again.

If idealism is for kids, I don't mind being a child. My mind and body could grow and all that, but let me be a children at heart.

Déjà vu. NOT.

2010-11-16T22:48:00.007+07:00

rani wall-wall-an sama temen rani yang di Jerman. Terus rani terharu karena dia bilang cerita rani menarik. Uhuu rani tersentuh. Entah kapan terakhir rani nulis cerita-cerita itu. Bahkan rani lupa apa aja cerita yang udah rani tulis. rani baca lagi barusan. Sekalian nostalgia.

Terus apa? rani jadi tertohok banget sama satu cerita nih. rani nggak sadar kalo selama ini rani udah tau itu, tapi rani harus disadarkan sama kata-kata orang lain (kasus ini buku)buat bener-bener ngerti. Padahal kalo rani baca cerita itu sama satu kalimat di buku itu sama aja sebenernya.

Ceritanya: this post

Dan inilah kalimat di dalam buku itu:

"Bad is never good until worse happens." - Danish Proverb

Oke, udah rahasia umum kalo misalnya semua orang bakal sampe tahap realization akan random anything, dan mereka berusaha buat mengekspresikannya lewat macem-macem. Entah itu ngomong, aksi, musik, lukisan, gambar, nyanyian, puisi, cerita, dan macem-macem lain. Dan lewat media itu, nggak sedikit orang yang jadi ngerti, orang jadi sepaham, orang jadi terinspirasi. Ya nggak. Tapi emang ada kalanya, suatu atau duatu pemikiran atau ekspresi yang sama lahir dari insan-insan yang berbeda, dari beda umur, beda jenis kelamin, beda keyakinan, beda generasi, beda macem-macem lah. Kayak kalkulus, si Newton sama siap namanya, Leibniz? Apa Liebniz? Itulah. Ya mereka juga bukannya salah satu plagiat yang lain nih, tapi karena emang mau seunik apapun manusia sebagai individu, mereka itu nggak lebih dari sekelompok manusia. Manusia ya manusia. Kamu mau bilang kamu beda dari yang lain? Emang kita beda-beda, tapi sebeda-beda apapun kita, there's gotta be something we have in common; YA IYA LAH, tapi hal yang sama itu bisa jadi jauh, jauh lebih kompleks dari yang kita kira. Sesuatu yang kita pikir satu karakter yang kita pikir sebagai satu yang membedakan kita dari yang lain--sesuatu yang bener-bener kita doang yang punya-- mungkin itu nggak ada. Kamu nggak tau mungkin di belahan dunia lain, atau mungkin cuma di rumah sebelah, ada orang yang sama juga, kea gitu juga lagak-lagaknya tuh.

Ya tapi pada akhirnya bukan satu atau dua perbedaan karakter kita yang bikin kita spesial. Tapi kita... ya kita. Satu. Dari urutan gen kita, dari segala macem watak yang ada di kita, dari segala cara kita ngomong, cara kita megang sendok, jari-jari yang ada 10 (atau 6, atau 4, terserah), jantung kita yang berdegup (atau yang nggak); semua-semuanya kalo dipaketin tuh baru deh: spesial, nggak mungkin ada yang sama satu pun. (Wallahu'alam emang ye namanya makhluk ciptaan Tuhan, tapi ayo kita asumsikan begitu sampe ada bukti yang menunjukkan ada satu individu yang percis sama kayak individu lain. Which is highly unlikely) Kalo cuma; "Unik ya dia, masa dia duduk tapi bokongnya nggak nyentuh permukaan kursi." you'll never know orang kayak gitu berapa banyak di bumi. Tapi kalo: "Beh emang orangnya unik banget tuh, makannya pake kaki, jari tangannya ada sebelas, nulis pake gigi, kalo cerita selalu pake joget, udah gitu udah denger belom? Dia kan dapet nobel gara-gara mutasi kromosom ayam sama tanaman lidah buaya." Nah kayak gitu tuh, baru bisa dibilang spesial. Nggak selebay itu emang, tapi gitulah, pasti udah ngertikan poinnya.

Terus... yaudah. Kalo balik ke cerita itu lagi.. Lucu ya, rani baru nyadar soal itu tahun lalu, padahal orang dari Denmark udah tau berapa abad yang lalu gitu ya hahaha. Ikhsan, kalo kamu baca ini, rani sangat mengerti perasaan kamu waktu kamu nulis post yang ini. rani kangen juga bikin cerita lagi. Haha tapi jujur aja nih rani nggak pede sebenernya nulis-nulis, takut menyesatkan juga abis rani kalo nulis suka nggak jelas maksudnya, interpretasi temen-temen banyak yang beda sama rani, bahkan ada yang interpretasinya lebih dewa dari niat rani pas bikin ceritanya haha. Terus masa ada temen rani bilang rani cocok jadi psikolog. rani malah takut pasien rani yang nggak papa malah jadi gila gara-gara psikolognya rani. Tapi mungkin rani jadi banyak uang karena konsultasinya jadi lama. Tapi itukan nggak boleh ya.

Lazarevic: You think I am a monster, but you're no different from me, Drake. How many men have you killed? How many, just today?

—Uncharted 2

tulisan anak sekolahan

2010-11-13T14:28:00.005+07:00

Hallo. Hah... tekanan disekitar rani bikin rani mikir apa rani kurang banyak belajar. Am I? Gagal gara-gara kurang belajar tuh nggak terlalu menyenangkan. Jangan sampe. Tapi rani orang termalas tukang leha-leha yang paling akut yang pernah rani kenal. Gimana ya. Terus gara-gara USM jadi sekali dan makin mahal rani makin galau. Pertama rani nggak segitu yakinnya rani bisa ngambil FSRD lewat SNMPTN, secara rani anak IPS dan plis ya ITB mana mau nerima pikir rani jadi intinya adalah rani harus USM, lagian rani modalnya emang cuma gambar-gambar doang, ya nggak? Tapi itu super mahal ya 65.000.000, duh bukannya nggak mampu tapi kasian nih orang tua ya kalo adek rani masuk 8 rani masuk ITB (amin) mau keluar berapa mama sama papa rani tahun 2011 entar? Banyak lah yang jelas duitnya. Dan sebenernya ITB mau aja nerima anak OSN yang dapet medali tanpa bayar.... kecuali OSN Ekonomi (kalo nggak salah). WUT banget nggak? Kalo beneran cuma ekonomi yang nggak diterima rani nggak heran emang, tapi sayang aja medali rani ya buat gaya doang nggak guna buat papaan, dimakan juga nggak bisa. Dijual juga nggak bakal dapet uang kayaknya.

Sebenernya bulan kemaren pas rani liat prospectus NTU soal ADM nya, rani tertarik juga tuuh. Tapi ini bulan November terus maksimal bulan Desember. BAAAH TEH PRESSHURE. Masih lama sih tapi rani galau banget nih ikut nggak yaa hemm ribet sih pake tes macem-macem yang rani belum selesai baca apa aja, ntar kali-kali aja rani juga harus tes chemistry ama physics, selamat tinggal dunia itu mah rani lempar keluar jendela aja deh segala barang di rumah. Dan yaaaa gitu deh mahal ya nggak rani harus nyari beasiswa juga dan beasiswa NTU itu susah mayan kalo bukan sains (CMIIW) pokoknya rebeque rebequa deh. Semuanya juga rebeque rebequa sih kalo mau nggak ribet ya jadi pengangguran aja di rumah, tapiiii ya gitu deh nih kegagalan pasar nih informasi tidak sempurna jadi bingung deh raninya.

Terus kemaren kamis juga sebenernya ada presentasi dari Jepang soal monbu sama Todai. Ngek ngok gara-gara speaker kelas rani kw seribu diintegralin, kagak ada suaranya jadi nggak tau deh rani bukannya ikutan malah pulang padahal rani pengen ikut banget penasaran huuuuu bete kaan dasar ya kelas rani udah ACnya bocor, speaker komputer abalan, speaker pengumuman pake batuk-batuk lagi, kemana mas suaranya? Ke pasar ye ikutan si Amang. Pengen juga nih ikutan, abis menggiurkan banget kalo dapet bener-bener banyak diongkosinnya, beasiswa S1 jarang abisnya yang bener-bener dibayarin semua. Tapi yaaa nggak segampang ngomongnya ya kan ada rupa ada harga ya nggak. Kalo mau semuanya serba gampang entar sekarangnya harus capek, kalo sekarang capeknya agak setengah nanti gampangnya juga dapet setengah.

Tapi ya rani nggak tau sih mungkin rani yang lebay kali ya, tapi mama rani biarpun meng-encourage apapun keputusan rani pernah juga nih nanya kayak gini nih:

"Ayuk beneran siap nih kalo kuliah nya jauh?"

Maksudnya kalo rani dapet ITB (kalo ya--ini kalimat pengandaian). Tapi kalo rani dapet NTU atau Monbu (AMIN ini ngayal kejauhan tapi nggak papa kan nggak masuk penjara) lebih jauh lagi kan ya, jangan-jangan mama rani sebenernya takut kangen lagi (GEER banget) tapi kayaknya nggak deh mungkin karena rani orangnya nggak keliatan independen kali ya, kerjaannya ngerepotin orang,--entah deh kalo dilepas hidupnya kayak apa, kayak beruang kutub dikirim ke afrika, bahaya kan ya. Tapi nggak deh kayaknya, buktinya rani apa-apa suruh milih sendiri, ngerjain sendiri, berarti kan udah diakui ya nggak. Papa (mama juga kadang-kadang) rani juga sering ngungkit-ngungkit soal kalo rani di UI deket banget kuliahnya tinggal naik kereta terus nyampe. Tapi rani nggak pengen di UI gimana dong. Ya tapi nggak tau ya manusia kan bisanya ngarep doang takdir ya tetep jalan, wallahualam ya.

Terus rani sebelumnya udah bilang laporan arus kas SCH udah selesai? Itu juga udah sama laporan keuangan yang sampe tanggal 22 Oktober yakni yang paling baru nget-ngetan. Dan rani emang nggak bernafas lega sampe jum'at kemaren walaupun udah rani kasih ke pak Waridin. Tau kenapa? Karena ternyata hari ini katanya Pak Yanbay adalah something-something sehingga rani senin harus tanya pak Waridin lagi kelanjutannya. To be continued ternyata. Hari ini udah pleno awal. Tapi rani masih ngurusin ini. Nafas rani sesak nggak boong, kalo ini cuma alesan-alesan supaya SCH taun depan nggak usah, tolong jangan sok-sokan mau nyalahin laporan keuangan dong, ini uangnya nggak ada yang ditilep, mau nilep pun mau nilep apa, sampe detik ini masih defisit kalo LPS belum turun. Capek nih, ngerjainnya emang nggak segitunya, tapi yang capek tuh beban moralnya! MIKIRINNYA! rani merasa dizalimi banget sama sekolah kalo kayak gini, mana ada anak sma kuat bikin laporan arus kas sama laporan keuangan uang ratusan juta BERKALI-KALI yang bener-bener beneran yang semua bukti transaksi ada, yang semua-semuanya-semuanya dengan gampangnya nanya ini bisa dipertanggungjawabkan apa nggak, itu udah rani buat dengan sesuai keadaan uang yang di rekening tertanggal 22 oktober sama yang keluar buat hadiah, kalo selain itu nggak ada lagi yang keluar rani yakin itu beneran udah bener surplus-defisitnya.. rani mau bohong apa?? NGGAK BISA YA PERCAYA AMA MURID? rani capek banget... rani rasanya nggak tahan lagi... rani nggak mau lagi ngurusin ini, rani nggak mau lagi subuh-subuh kebangun dan setengah sadar, bingung mau solat apa nggak KARENA TAKUT NGGAK SESUAI ANGGARAN. rani nggak mau nangis sesenggukan gara-gara rani capek ngurusin hal yang udah terjadi dan diungkit-ungkit setiap ada kesempatan, seumur rani di 8 yang rani inget rani nggak pernah nangis karena capek belajar, rani nggak pernah nangis karena frustrasi nggak dapet hasil dari rumus, bahkan rani pas OSN pun nggak ada acara nangis karena jenuh belajar ekonomi. Baru sekali ini rani nangis sungguhan gara-gara ini, baru kali ini rani mau minta dikasihani sama siapapun yang berwenang supaya rani nggak perlu bikin ini lagi. rani nggak kebayang perasaan temen-temen lain yang ngurusin ini plus lain-lain kayak apa capeknya; rani ngurusin laporan ini aja udah mau minta di abduct alien. Melarikan diri ke konstelasi lain biar rani hidup di tata surya yang beda. Yang buminya nggak perlu bikin laporan keuangan.

Terakhir rani nangis adalah detik-detik pas rani masih bingung sama cita-cita gara-gara takut sama realita atau apalah temen gengnya. Sebelumnya rani nangis sewaktu rani takut rani orang yang nggak tulus. Sekali ini rani nangis sesuatu yang sama sekali nggak ada gunanya buat rani atau kelangsungan hidup segala organisme di bumi yang mungkin beberapa minggu atau mungkin lebih segera lagi akan rani tertawakan habis-habisan karena nggak worth ditangisin.

Maaf banget kalo ada yang simpati. Kayak ginian nggak perlu di-simpatiin sebenernya. Baru laporan keuangan buat acara anak sma doang. Mungkin abis beberapa ronde nangis juga bisa ngerjain lagi. Tapi makasih ya seandainya emang ada yang udah simpati, baik banget jadi manusia. rani mah kalo baca ginian rani ketawain gara-gara lebay. Semoga pada masuk surga terus keterima PTN yang dipengenin.

reminder

2010-11-11T22:15:00.005+07:00

rani udah selesai nih nulis laporan arus kasnya. rani merasa tersiksa banget ngerjainnya, tapi ternyata kalo dikerjain emang selesai, ya nggak? Kayak gini aja rasanya rani berat banget pikiran, apalagi kalo masuk neraka. Tersiksanya pasti lebih-lebih lagi deh. Kalo emang pada akhirnya rani harus bikin laporan arus kas lagi semoga rani ngerjainnya di surga. Kan wangi.

Terus ini nih. Apa ya. Lagi agak terguncang dikit abis nolak tawaran yang sangat menggiurkan. Tapi rani nggak bakal kalah kok! Emang kadang-kadang orang memang harus muter-muter dulu supaya sampe ke oasis, banyak fatamorgananya banyak iming-iming palsu jadi hati harus sekuat baja. Kalo seandainya yang dikira fatamorgana oasis beneran berarti oasis itu kurang oke buat didatengin rani, nanti yang biar rani temuin oasis yang lebih bagus. sok nggak. Nggak papa, buat lucu-lucuan entar kalo rani udah gede biar bisa ngetawain terus malu ama tulisan sendiri. Terus apa yaaa emmm oh ya mumpung masih muda nih masih bisa ngayal tinggi-tinggi rani pengen banyaaak banget deh kalo rani seandainya udah punya uang nanti. bisa dibilang ini wish list kalo rani ternyata punya umur dan punya rejeki yang cukup:

1. Pusat Kesehatan Flora Fauna

Dipikir orang doang yang sakit? Ini nih ada makhluk Tuhan yang laen juga yang kadang-kadang sakitnya parah, tapi karena kita bukan flora atau fauna jadi kita nggak papa deh kalo flora faunanya pada mati. rani sedih aja di Indonesia rasa kemanusiaannya cuma ama sesama manusia doang, ama yang lain-lain nggak. Jaraaaaang banget. Pengemis di jalan dapet duit. Kucing di jalan ditabrak lari.

2. Rumah anak-anak

Ini rumah anak-anak beneran, yang orang tuanya nggak bisa ngasih rumah. Atau nggak ada orang tua yang ngasih rumah. Atau sekitar-sekitar itulah. Kalo pinter nanti dikasih stiker.

3. Sekolah

Buat anak-anak yang di Rumah Anak-anak sebenernya, tapi kalo udah diakuin karena yang dikeluarin profesor-profesor tersohor anak-anak yang punya rumah sendiri juga boleh masuk.

4. Rumah orang tua

Ini rumah buat orang yang udah tua. Yang anaknya nggak bisa ngasih rumah. Yang nggak punya rumah, yang nggak bisa ngurus rumah, yang nggak bisa diurus sama anaknya lagi karena anaknya juga udah punya anak yang harus diurusin. Orang tua biasanya suka sama orang tua lain. Banyak yang diceritain.

5. Rumah sakit

Ini buat orang yang sakit. Maunya sih biar nggak usah bayar yang kesini. Kasian juga kan, orang udah sakit, disuruh keluar duit pula.

6. Perpustakaan

rani mau perpustakaannya yang besar yang megah yang lengkap terus yang bisa dipinjem bukunya buat dibawa pulang. Nggak tertutup jadi kalo iseng dateng buat liat-liat juga silakan. Pokoknya kayak perpustakaan dari kontalasi lain. Terinspirasi dari perpustakaan nasional yang nggak bisa browsing buku, nggak bisa minjem buku, dan sangat tertutup kalo baru dateng bingung mau ngapain.

7. Amusement Park. Bahasa Indonesianya apa sih?

rani bikin di tempat yang sesuai tata kota, yang nggak makan lahan paru-paru kota, yang nggak makan lahan hijau, nggak ganggu sumber daya apapun, dan nggak bikin orang tergusur. Sanking serunya di tempat ini orang-orang pada nggak mau pulang. Jadi disini juga disediain tempet nginep.

8. Masjid

Pengennya yang ada ac di lantai kayak masjid yang di Tanah Suci, gede terus adem terus nggak berisik, artistik terus siapa aja boleh solat disitu, nggak pake disapu-sapu dulu kalo bekas orang. Disediain tempat tidur, buat orang yang kecape'an i'tikaf jadi bisa tidur nyenyak, atau kalo ada orang ngorok pas i'tikaf bisa diungsikan supaya satu mesjid ngga berisik. Sekalian kalo ada orang nyasar ketemunya di masjid bisa tidur tanpa ngurangin jatah tempat sujud orang.

9. Sesuatu

rani mau bikin/nemuin sesuatu atau apakek. Yang kayak rani bilang sebelumnya disini.

10. Restoran

rani mau bikin restoran yang makanannya enak. Terus tersebar diseluruh dunia jadi pas rani lagi keliling dunia gampang nyari makan nggak usah bayar.

11. Hutan

rani mau beli beberapa ribu hektar hutan di... mana ya. Kalimantan, Irian sama Brazil. Jadi seenggaknya beberapa hektar itu ada yang ngurus lah, nggak dijual 10.000 per batang ama orang kekurangan duit dan pengetahuan.

12. Antartika

Kalo sampe rani ada uang belum ada yang beli biar rani aja yang beli. Sampe rani udah pengen beli Antartika seharusnya rani udah kebanyakan uang, jadi rani mungkin ngubur beberapa emas dan berlian disini biar ditemukan di lautan kalo misalnya Antartikanya mencair. Namanya bukan lagi Harta Karun tapi Harta Rani. Terus rani juga mau coba peluk beruang kutub. Tapi mungkin dia lebih galak dari beruang Grizzly. Agak bahaya juga ya. Tapi nggak papa. Romantis kayaknya kalo masuk koran, headlinenya: Meninggal di Dalam Pelukan Beruang Kutub.

13. Entar rani pikirin

Namanya manusia dinamis kan ya, peradaban juga nanti makin lama makin berubah, liat situasi nanti kalo rani mampu bantuin terus rani punya uang terus rani bisa bikin rani buat deh yang lagi dibutuhin orang sedunia.

Ya ini dibuat kalo misalnya rani udah kebanyakan harta banget nih, biar disebar ke orang membutuhkan tiap hari masih bisa buat bikin juga. Tapi kalo emang bikin ginian nggak perlu uang juga malah lebih bagus. nanti biar orang lain aja yang ngurus laporan arus kasnya. Nanti kalo rani pensiun di umur muda rani pengen keliling dunia. Mumpung masih ada dunianya mau rani kelilingin dulu. Ya kalo raninya juga masih ada. Nanti kalo space travel udah ada rani juga mau jalan-jalan keliling luar angkasa. Kalo ada time travel waah rani juga pengen banget tuh cobain. Nonton doang tapi. Seru deh mikirinnya. Tapi serem juga mungkin ya.

Terus ada berita seru masa, sekelas rani remed sosiologi. Nggak ada yang nilainya lebih bagus dari... mm... 62 kalo nggak salah. sisanya 30an, 40an, 50an, rani dapet 56. Keren ya, nilai ulangannya kayak nomer sepatu. Hahahaha mimpinya jauh banget bikin macem-macem tapi sosiologi aja remed.

Beginning

2010-11-07T22:17:00.004+07:00

Everything's OK in the end. If it's not OK, it's not the end.

- Carolyn Myers

luapan emosi

2010-10-24T08:14:00.006+07:00

Halo!

Ngomong-ngomong, semalem rani mimpi super epic. rani... tidur dari magrib abis nganter Mitton yang liuran sepanjang jalan pulang. Sampe jam 3 pagi. Mimpinya oke banget. rani sampe lupa. Mimpinya sangat seru, rani mimpi dalam mimpi dan ternyata mimpi itu dimimpiin sama temen rani juga terus ada petualangan apa gitu abis itu ada binatang-binatang lucu warna-warni yang lagi pesta di hutan lucuuuuu banget yang pura-pura mati tiap orang lain terus joget-joget pas udah pada lewat dibawah sinar bulan purnama sambil rani rekam di hp, rani masuk sekolah dan sekolah rani berubah jadi rumah sakit dan semua temen-temen rani jadi dokter dan ada kasus gitu deh abis itu ada Mitton ada juga burung yang lagi sakit dan rani berusaha supaya dia sehat lagi. Burung gereja itu sayapnya buntung satu dan kelihatan tersiksa dan sangaaaat hangat, kalo ditaruh di kasur badannya menjeplak, mungkin karena keringat (?) rani lupa akhirnya gimana. Tapi mimpi itu oke banget. Kalo mimpi bisa diulang rani ulang deh. AWAWA rani iri banget pengen ikutan joget bareng juga tapi nggak mungkin karena mereka pasti bakal pura-pura mati.

Terus ada bagian rani dapet kamar no 2. Apa ini berarti rani nggak ranking satu lagi? nggak ada hubungannya tapi di loker no 2 itu ada kaus kaki rani. 3 pasang apa.

Nah terus besok kan hari Senin ya terrus ada Sosiologi. Oh may june july rani kan remed ya, tapi rani sampe detik ini belum belajar tuh Sosiologi. Ngomong-ngomong sosiologi rani ada yang rani kesel banget deh lumayan, kesel dikit deng tapi kesel deh pokoknya. Jadi kan hari ini BTA pertama rani, pelajaran pertama Geografi. NAAAH lagi bahas hidrologi, ada soal yang nanya perairan laut Indonesia timur sama barat asinan yang mana? Terus, rani jawabnya yang Barat lebih asin. Mengapa? rani jelaskan di depan ntar. Ternyata jawabannya di Timur yang lebih asin. Alasannya adalah karena bagian barat itu bagian yang banyak hujan, otomatis kalo hujan, di laut kan air yang nambah bukan air asin, jadi di Timur lebih asin deh soalnya ujannya dikit (gitu deh kalo panjang capek ngetiknya) NAH TAPI YA waktu kelas XI, rani diajarin sama Ms Yuli Katarina, rani sama temen-temen diajarin, kalo salah satu yang mempengaruhi kadar garam di laut itu adalah.... mineral dan segala macam kandungan yang dibawa oleh sungai dari daratan! Dan kalo rani nggak salah inget, itu adalah salah satu yang cukup berpengaruh. rani nanya dong, "Kak, bukannya lalalalalasungaijugamempengaruhilalalala ya? Terus.. bukannya sungai byk di barat?" Terus kakaknya ngejelasin, kalo emang itu berpengaruh!

Tapi (pake tapi) pengaruhnya nggak se-signifikan pengaruh ujan-ujan tadi. Dia juga bilang kalo itu nanti di soal bakal lebih ke "Laut mana yang lebih banyak polutan" dari pada "kandungan garam". rani nggak peduli ama soal sebenernya, TAPI RANI PENASARAN BANGET. Jadi rani mikir dikit terus nanya lagi.... "...Kalo gitu semakin lama air laut itu kadar garamnya makin dikit ya kak?" (MENDING DI SKIP: rani nanya gitu dengan asumsi kalo ujan bikin kadar garam jadi lebih dikit dibanding yg ngg kena ujan sedangkan ujan nggak mungkin nggak terjadi selama matahari masa ada brarti makin lama ya air laut makin nggak asin. ribet ya maap ya tapi ini sesuatu yang rani pikir di afirmasi sama kakaknya bukan maksudnya dijelasin lagi) TAPI TAPI TAPI kakaknya bilang makin lama makin asin!! Nah, rani jadi bingung kan, apa kah asumsi rani salah? Apa rani miscom? Apa pemahaman rani yang ngaco? rani nggak menyuarakan itu, tapi kakaknya ngejelasin kalo hujan itu juga nggak cuma ujan doang tapi yang sungai2 rani sebut tadi juga ngaruh jadi makin lama makin asin. Nah ini rani nggak ngerti, apalagi kakaknya nyontohinnya kontradiktif ama yang dibilang, ditulisnnya kadar garam bagian barat lebih gede dari timur. RANI MAKIN BINGUNG KAN. Tapi ini bukan salah kakaknya, rani yakin kakaknya salah tulis, raninya juga emang mikirnya kayak odong-odong yang jalannya nggak maju-maju, dan yang yang yang yang lebih mau rani salahain itu adalah KONDISI KELAS YANG NGGAK KONDUSIF. Tentu saja abis itu rani manggut-manggut aja tapi pasang wajah IQ jongkok. Biar kakaknya nerusin jawaban soal.

Pas rani nanya itu ya, kelas rani udah pada "Huu huu" "EHEM EHEM" mengindikasikan orang udah pada bete sama pertanyaan rani. HEY! rani nanyakan bukan kenapa bulan bopeng-bopeng, atau apakah Aspergillus wentii yang bikin kecap jadi enak. Maaf ya maaf banget buat yang ngerasa annoyed tapi rani juga nyadar kok kalo ada orang nanya nggak penting itu rasanya malesin banget, "pengen cepet-cepet selesai aja bahas soal ni orang ngapain sih pake nanya-nanya", tapi yang rani kesel itu bukan perasaan betenya, tapi kenapa sih, nggak mencoba buat menghargai orang yang nanya? rani juga bukan maksud lama-lamain kok cuma menegaskan jawaban. ITU KAN GUNANYA BIMBEL? SUPAYA NGERTI? esmosi deh. Apa emang salah rani? Apa seharusnya rani diem aja, terus nyari jawabannya di internet aja, atau mungkin lain kali aja rani tanya ke guru itu atau guru geografi rani yang lain, biar rani keburu lupa terus udah ngerasa yang kayak gitu udah nggak penting rani pikirin. Maaf banget kalo rani nggak pinter-pinter amat, maaf banget rani udah nanya bikin lama.

Saat rani pulang rani jadi mikir deh, emang pertanyaan rani yang OOT banget ya? Nggak penting banget ya ampe nyaris satu kelas berusaha rani selesain pertanyaannya? Apa rani nggak tepat waktu nanya nya? Apa rani harus ke bimbel yang mahal supaya bisa dijawab kakaknya sampe rani ngerti? Apa rani nggak harus ngerti itu karena itu nggak keluar di SNMPTN? Apa rani nggak perlu nanyain karena nggak ada seorang pun di bumi ini yang mau tau laut itu seasin apa di masa depan?

rani jadi sedih. dikit doang tapi sedihnya. rani jadi kesel! rani jadi mau nyalahin orang juga!

rani mungkin emosi terus jadi subjektif ya, tapi mikir deh, kenapa sih nggak berusaha buat mikir kritis? Kenapa sih nggak mencoba buat ngehargain pertanyaan orang? Oke deh kalo kalian emang udah ngerti, tapi apa mustahil, dari... 30 orang yang ada di kelas itu yang nggak ngerti dan berusaha memahami cuma rani doang? Bukannya niat mau menghambat progres membahas soal, tapi emangnya bimbel itu cuma belajar dari kakaknya doang? Apa temen-temen nggak bisa bantuin ngajarin rani, rani juga nggak bisa minta tolong ajarin? Apa nggak boleh ya, kalo bahas sesuatu yang nggak ditanyain sama soal? rani juga mau pinter sama-sama, rani kalo mau pinter sendiri bakal nanya sendiri aja, cari sendiri aja. Karena rani pikir itu pertanyaan global yang supaya temen-temen juga tau rani tanyain. Maaf banget kalo ternyata rani salah. Maaf juga rani tersinggung sampe nulis ginian, emang lagi sisa-sisa hormon labil nih akhir bulan.

Kalo nggak ngerti, nanya. Nanya terus berarti bodoh. Tapi kebodohan yang melahirkan pertanyaan itu merupakan anugrah rasa-rasanya. Kenapa sih mau aja nerima-nerima aja kalo usaha itu sama aja kayak gaya kali perpindahan? Coba deh pikir lagi siapa tau nama Anda jadi satuan usaha yang baru. Newton juga, Newton terkenal gara-gara dia bingung kenapa apel nimpuk dia bukannya ke langit. Kapan anak-anak Indonesia mau maju kalo nanya kadar garam di laut aja pake di huuuu in sama sekelas. Udah keburu nggak nafsu nanya yang lain. Makanya orang jaman sekarang kebanyakan kalo udah tau sesuatu nih, disimpen sendiri sampe dia bisa buktiin dan terkenal sendiri. Kalo diceritain ke orang malah diketawain. Liat deh, banyakan mana, orang dapet nobel sendiri apa sekampung sama temen-temen satu timnya? rani bahkan nggak pernah denger ada orang dapet nobel bareng. rani juga nggak pernah nyari tau sih. Tapi rani sudah membuktikan satu poin tuh.

rani nggak mau ya kayak gitu! Kapan nih dunia mau bagus kalo semua orang induvidualis, nggak mencoba ngertiin orang lain! Kali ini udah nggak ada hubungan sama rani nanya di kelas. Kapan dunia mau global kalo beda warna kulit, beda ukuran mata aja udah pada memalingkan muka. Terus, biarpun rani remed sosiologi, rani belajar kalo ciri-ciri manusia modern itu induvidualistis. Kenapa sih? Kalo mau saling toleran dan hidup dalam kebersamaan harus tradisional ya? Kalo mau modern harus tega ya? Harus sendiri ya kalo mau hidup di belantara dunia modern ini?

Huf. suuzon banget yak. yaudahlah apaboleh buat lagi emosi. hahah. Oh ya supaya jadi nggak angsty rani kasih quote yang menyentuh (bagi rani):

"Din, kamu ya yang kemarin naroh Fior di kamar bawah?"

"Iya. Abis ayuk kan tidur di bawah."

"Kamu naruh Fior dibawah.... buat aku?" (Norak tapi beneran kata-katanya kayak gitu tapi serius mayan nadanya)

"......Iya" (ragu lumayan karena ngerasa norak)

".." (terharu)

Hari ini rani remed Sosiologi sama Sejarah. Ternyata Sosiologi rani berhasil. Karena semalem rani lupa Sejarah juga remed, rani jadi frustasi waktu ngerjain. Tapi nggak papa deh. Terus rani nanya Noni juga soal pertanyaan rani yang laut-laut itu (penasaran banget rani abisnya) terus rani mulai ngerti dikit-dikit salah rani dimana. Walaupun penjelasannya rani belum terlalu ngeh. Tapi itu udah cukup progres. Lumayan lah. rani jadi nggak marah lagi deh. Untung ya ada orang pinter disekitar kita yang bisa ditanyain. rani maunya biar udah lulus masih mau hidupnya di lingkungan banyak orang pinter baik hati yang bisa ditanya-tanyain. Semoga aja ya.

Dumb is Good

2010-10-15T19:49:00.008+07:00

Ini kucing rani. Itu bulunya. Kayak keset selamat datang ya. Tapi kalo dipegang nggak kayak keset selamat datang.

Namanya Mitton. Dia kucing rani. rani juga punya kucing satu lagi sebenernya. Dulu. Sekitar... 1-2 tahun setelah punya Mitton dan meninggal sekitar.. 3-4 tahun yang lalu. Atau lima? Entahlah.. Oh ya... begitulah. Namanya Quitsi. Dia lebih muda dari pada Mitton. rani lupa mereka kakak beradik apa bukan, tapi gitu deh. Mereka kayak bulan dan matahari. Mitton sangat pasif dan keren seperti bulunya yang hitam. Dan dia gendut dan berat, rani umur 9-12 tahun selalu pake alasan itu kalo rani disuruh ngangkat Mitton, pada akhirnya rani yang angkat Quitsi karena dia mungil, lucu, abu-abu dan berbulu bagai sutra. Tapi sepertinya dia kurusan sekarang.

Quitsi sangat lucu. Dulu dia anak kesayangan karena dia kecil, ringan dan berbulu bagai sutra. Dia juga sangat suka bermain. Mengejar kaki orang, matanya juga besar, dia juga suka nyempil di tempat yang banyak orang. Dia pernah pipis diatas adek rani sama mbak rani yang lagi tidur siang, yang sebelumnya nggak berbuat apa-apa pas Quitsi nyempil karena udah kebiasaan. Tapi Quitsi nggak kena marah. Padahal (kayak post rani yang sebelum-sebelum ini, Mitton pernah pipis di kasur juga terus dia kena angkara murka papa rani) Akhirnya dia meninggal... rani sedih. Dia meninggal sewaktu rani sekeluarga lagi di jalan pulang dari Palembang ke Jakarta. Waktu itu dia, Mitton dan rumah rani dititip ke saudara papa rani. rani rasa ada malpraktek disini. Karena Quitsi sangat sehat, muda, bersemangat dan dia sangat lucu. Dan katanya dia meninggal karena nggak mau..... makan? Sangat mencurigakan. Tapi itu suuzon rani.

Mitton sangat pendiam dan sangat pasif. rani rasa itu karena dia sangat baik. Dia sering terlihat diatas tembok antara taman dan kamar mandi. Dia terlihat gagah dan gendut. Dia sering melarikan diri kalo rani--atau siapapun-- mendekat. Tapi kalo udah ketangkep dia tidak akan berusaha apapun untuk melepaskan diri; struggle, nyakar, gigit, terserah, kecuali kita sangat bodoh untuk menunjukkan bahwa kita sudah melepaskan dia, sehingga dia dengan cepat melarikan diri lagi. rani pikir (dan sekeluarga di rumah pikir) dia memang tipe yang pasif dan pendiam seperti itu ya. Dia juga sering kabur ke atap rumah. Tapi ternyata nggak ya. Ternyata dia jagoan. Suatu hari Mitton membawa luka dan berdarah. Kaget soalnya dia bukan tipe berantem. Bekas dicakar, keliatannya. Terus dia stay cool banget. Keren ya. Terus abis itu ketauan dia jagoannya. Soalnya seinget rani pernah ada kucing garong masuk rumah terus pas liat Mitton dia gertak dikit terus pergi. Gaya banget. Tapi semakin tua dia semakin terbuka. Dia jadi manja. Kata papa rani berarti Mitton udah kakek-kakek karena udah kayak anak kecil lagi. Tapi waktu dia masih kecil pun, dia nggak pernah manja sebenernya. Selalu ngumpet dibelakang hal yang hitam-hitam, sampai-sampai rani nge-puspus-in sepatu papa rani karena rani pikir dia Mitton.

Itu tangan papa rani. Dia lucu kan ya. Dia pengen dielus sebenernya tapi poker face.

Mitton sering mau main di kamar. Tapi kalo udah waktu tidur Mitton nggak boleh di kamar. Kadang rani sedih karena aksian sama Mitton, tapi Mitton nggak pernah maksa. Dia selalu berhenti di depan pintu kalo udah dihus-husin sama yang di kamar nggak boleh masuk. Dia memang baik, kayak gitu.

Gayanya keren kayak predator, tapi dia cuma males berjalan tegak karena abis tiduran sebenernya. Serius. ~~Ini keliatan keren karena rani yang foto.~~

Ya itulah Mitton. Dia semakin tua. Oh ya, udah rani bilang dia baik? Dia baik sama semua orang, kecuali kalo lagi rame. Dia nggak gigit atau nyakar, bahkan pas dimandiin. Kecuali kalo wajahnya disiram air dingin (NGGAK BOLEH) dan itupun rani yakin refleks doang bukan nyakar beneran. Dia juga diem kalo disuruh diem. Tiduran kalo disuruh tidur. Pokoknya super baik deh. Mungkin karena dia udah dewasa. Papa rani pernah nyukur dia pake gunting kertas. Bayangkan. Bulunya pun jadi nggak beraturan panjangnya. Dia kayak korban bencana alam. Padahal sebelumnya dia juga pernah jadi korban pembantu rani; kumis dan alisnya dicukur (rani nggak tau apa orang ini waras apa nggak), papa nggak mau pengalaman Mitton dicukur berhenti sampai disitu rupanya. Tapi dia tetep baik. Dia sering keinjek buntutnya. Bahkan dia sendiri sering keinjek. Tapi dia cuma lari menjauh dikit, pasang muka kecewa ke yang nginjek terus pergi. Beberapa saat kemudian nongkrong kayak biasa. Baik kan. Mungkin karena dia udah dewasa.

Atau mungkin karena dia sayang sama rani sama mama papa sama adek rani juga. rani juga sayang ya. Adek rani juga kayaknya sayang. Mama rani juga. Buktinya makanannya tetep dibeliin. Papa rani juga, biarpun papa rani bilang kalo Mitton bukan baik tapi bodoh. rani rasa Mitton nggak bodoh; dia baik jadi dia kelihatan bodoh. Kebaikan memang kadang-kadang membuat orang terlihat bodoh. Kebaikan nggak masuk bagian dari rasionalitas, kan? Memang begitu. Kayak, kalo dipikir-pikir apa yang membuat uang anda worth untuk di sedekahkan? Pahala? Senyum bahagia orang itu dan keluarganya? Yeah, right.

Udah rani bilang dia baik? Biarpun dia tahu malem-malem abis rani belajar di ruang makan rani nggak bakal ngajak dia masuk buat main di kamar atau nemenin dia buat ngelus-ngelus atau apapun, dia tetep nemenin rani. BBB. Begadang Buat Belajar. Atau sewaktu rani ngerjain tugas poster. Atau sewaktu rani ngerjain tugas apapun itu. Bahkan sewaktu rani main komputer. Padahal rani cuma nyuekin. Tapi dia tetep nemenin rani. Walaupun dia cuman tidur. Konyol sih, tapi rani terharu.

"Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your hair."

Mitton sering di rumah sendiri, karena papa rani kerja (itupun di pulau dengan bagian waktu yang berbeda), mama rani juga kerja, rani sekolah dan adek rani juga sekolah. Tapi Mitton tetep baik ya. Padahal mungkin dia pengen banget main sama-sama. Dia jarang keluar rumah, dia cuma di taman depan teras atau depan pagar, lihat sekeliling... lihat kucing lain. Diam. Dan rani rasa dia juga masih bujangan. Belum menikah. Padahal dia kucing ya. Apa dia nggak kesepian ya... pikir rani. Tapi mungkin karena Mitton memang dasarnya begitu. Dan kayaknya besok dia benar-benar harus check-up deh. Dia bersin-bersin.

Smart People are mean, Dumb People are nice. Geniuses are psychotic and high-strung, but idiots are nice and sweet because ignorance is bliss. In comedy pairs the genius will always smack around the idiot. - Dumb is Good, Tvtropes.org

So, Lone Star, now you see that evil will always triumph because good is dumb.

- Dark Helmet, Spaceballs

p.s. Judulnya terinspirasi dari quotenya. Silahkan klik link.

Percakapan telepon rani yg paling sering. Selain pesan pizza.

2010-10-14T14:15:00.007+07:00

Bibibibibip

"Halo?"

"Assalamu'alaykum ayuk."

"Wa'alaykumsalam, mama? Mama aku laper."

II.

Bibibibibip

"Assalamu'alaykum."

"Wa'alaykumsalam. 'Napa ma?"

"Udah makan belum?"

"Mmm belum."

"Makanlah."

"Apa?"

III.

"Assalamu'alaykum. Halo mama?"

"Kenapa yuk?"

"Aku laper."

Sankingkan telepon rumah jarang sekali digunakan. Kecuali pesan pizza.

Di rumah rani nggak ada pembantu yang masak. Sejak pembantu terakhir rani masak sayur kangkung yang rasanya kayak sabun cuci piring. rani? rani males masak. Mending pesen.

random talk

2010-10-13T18:54:00.006+07:00

Kayaknya Mitton harus check up lagi deh. Terus rani remed sosiologi. Ack. Besok mau bolos. Tapi kayaknya nggak deh, kan rani anak baik. rani mau jadi rajin belajar. rani pengen banget temen-temen jadi deket semua. Bisa ya, padahal perasaannya mutual, tapi nggak bisa nyatu. Padahal perasaannya mutual, tapi rasanya ada tembok maya deh. Dimana sih temboknya? Bukan rani yang bikin kan? rani juga kurang peka nih sama sekitar. Ini bahaya deh lumayan; sampe dinyatakan sama temen-temen yang lain. Terus biar bagaimana pun rani banyak belajar dari kelabilan diri, rani capek labil terus. Maunya stabil kadang-kadang juga. rani menenangkan diri ceritanya. Tapi faktor yang bukan rani nggak berusaha menenangkan rani deh. Ada ya yang membantu tapi banyaknya nggak. Tapi kayaknya rani bakal maksa deh supaya bantu. Kayaknya ini suuzon deh. Kapan ya rani sempet bawa Mitton ke dokter lagi. Oh ya, dokter hewan itu keren ya. Mungkin kalo rani ketemu dokter hewan sebelum rani memutuskan untuk jadi desainer mainan rani bakal pengen jadi dokter hewan kayaknya. Terus rani kemarin pas libur ketemu marmut lucu banget deh. Gendut banget. Gede ya. Terus ada hamster juga. Dia berotot. Kalo lagi diem lucu banget kayak gendut. Tapi kalo berdiri serem banget soalnya dia berotot, kayak binaragawan. Terus rani yakin nggak ada binaragawan punya otot segendut hamster itu.

568 Everyday drama

If all the world's a stage, where is the audience sitting?

- Marion Kaplinsky, 1001 Things to Make You Smile

He's gay, she's lesbian, and I'm okay.

2010-10-10T22:19:00.007+07:00

Kalo ngikutin rani di twitter pasti tau deh. Belum lama ini rani nonton Ugly Betty lagi. Terus jadi sedih deh. Soalnya inget season 5 nggak ~~bakal~~ ada. Yah udah deh apa boleh buat, lihat saja nanti. Terus karena liat Justin (he's gay, for your information) yang di akhir season 4 akhirnya punya pacar (?) lagi rani jadi kepikiran lagi soal bangsa-bangsanya homoseksualitas. Kenapa ya.

Sebenernya rani kepikiran udah dari.. kapan ya. Sebelum mid rani inget banget tuh ya, orang-orang pada demo di depan Embassy yang soal pemutaran film-film LGBT, hari sebelum rani nonton berita itu di koran Lika ada berita tentang penyuluhan HIV/AIDS yang sumpah nggak penting di bannernya ada gambar tipe-tipe stereotip orang gay dan hari sebelumnya lagi rani liat di Kaskus ada thread soal buku cerita anak-anak tentang ayahnya yang gay. ..Bacanya rani shock maksimal. Pas rani kelas X rani pernah pidato loh, pelajaran Bu Sri. Temanya? Homoseksualitas. Sangat kontroversial.

Kenapa ya. Kasian deh kadang-kadang sama orang-orang yang beda orientasi seksual sama orang yang biasanya. Maksudnya, yang orientasi seksualnya dianggep aneh. Abis gimana ya hmmm kalo dipikiran rani sih, nggak ada juga kan ya orang mau lahir di dunia buat jadi gay/lesbian? Kadang yang kayak gitu emang bukan buat dipilih, kayak, emang cobaan. Dikasih sama Tuhan. Apa nggak?

Kayak.. apa ya. Kalo dianalogikan kayak penyakit. AIDS gara-gara orang tuanya pengidap HIV. Cacat fisik dari lahir. Atau apa deh. Kayak penyakitnya Aya Kitou yang bikin buku One Litre of Tears. Bedanya ya... Kalo itu penyakit fisik mungkin ini penyakit nurani. Atau hati. Atau apa kek terserah. Mirip kan?

Mereka juga butuh pertolongan kok... Mereka juga manusia.. Mungkin sama kayak orang yang sakit juga, mereka mau sembuh dalam tanda kutip. Tapi takdir (for lack of better word) ada juga yang nggak bisa diubah biarpun manusia udah usaha. Jahat nggak, kalo kita menghinakan orang lain gara-gara sesuatu yang dikasih Tuhan sebagai cobaan buat dia, padahal dia nggak pernah minta, nggak pernah nyusahin kita atau siapapun gara-gara itu?

Dosa?

rani nggak tau banyak sih soal agama. Tapi rani tau kalo perilaku seksual sama yang mahram itu nggak boleh. rani tau kalo perilaku seksual di luar nikah itu nggak boleh. Nah, kalo ada seorang.. insan di rumahnya, atau di kantor atau di suatu tempat di dunia ini, yang tau dia memiliki orientasi seksual yang berbeda dari orang lain kemudian moving on, sebagaimanapun hancur hatinya mengingat bahwa.. apa ya.. cinta nya terhadap yang lain adalah tidak wajar, dosa juga? rani nggak tau. rani punya.. apa ya. Ada orang yang rani tau. Dia nggak nikah. Umurnya.. udah dewasa deh pokoknya. Dia bilang dia nggak menikah. Dia punya anak adopsi yang banyak di rumah. Udah rani sebut dia nggak menikah? Dan rani rasa, kalo hal itu di dasari karena suatu hal yang... diteriakkan oleh society sebagai ke abnormalan.. itu nggak dosa deh. Tapi rani nggak tau. Yang Maha Adil cuma Tuhan. Biar membunuh dosa rani nggak tau apa Algojo itu masuk neraka karena membunuh.

rani rasa itu berat. Apa lagi kalo ditambah penolakan dari masyarakat, penolakan dari keluarga sendiri... pasti nggak enak banget deh. Kalo rani jadi orang itu pasti sedih banget. Bingung banget. Nggak tau, abis mau ngapain lagi. Ya nggak?

rani, kalo rani.. rani nggak mau bikin orang sedih kalo dia nggak perlu sedih dan nggak pernah bikin rani sedih. Kalo emang rani bisa bantuin rani pasti mau bantuin deh.

Kita diciptakan beda-beda kan. sama Tuhan? Diciptakan beda-beda, ada macam-macam ras, suku bangsa, laki-laki dan perempuan. Beda opini, beda ideologi, beda keyakinan. Hal yang fundamental seperti keyakinan pun, ada yang berbeda. Dan apa yang agama rani bilang? Bagimu agamamu, bagiku agamaku. Nggak ada satupun di dunia ini insan yang sama, bahkan yang lahir dari satu rahim. Semua orang juga beda di cara mereka masing-masing. Terus apa yang membuat ini berbeda?

Perbedaan itu anugrah. Tuhan bikin orang satu pun nggak ada yang sama, supaya kita saling mengerti satu sama lain! Supaya kita berbagi. Supaya kita bertoleransi dan simpati sama satu sama lain. Ada cerita Ali bin Abi Thalib nyaris telat solat subuh berjamaah di masjid, kenapa? Dia menghormati seorang Yahudi tua yang berjalan sangat lambat yang berada di jalannya as mau ke masjid. Apa dia menusuk kakek itu? Nggak.

Tuhan nggak pernah bikin satu pun hal yang sia-sia di dunia ini. Nggak ada yang jelek. Semuanya punya maksud, dari semuanya ada yang bisa dijadikan pelajaran.

rani nggak bilang kalo homoseksualitas itu baik ya... rani cuma bilang rani merasa kalo orang-orang yang beda orientasi seksual dari kebanyakan itu bukan orang yang perlu dikucilkan atau dihinakan karena mereka beda.

Menurut rani menerima orang apa adanya dan bersikap baik ke semua orang tanpa pandang bulu itu sesuatu yang dilakukan orang yang dewasa. Tapi ternyata walaupun sudah besar orang belum banyak yang dewasa ya. Kalo rani, rani maunya bisa baik sama siapapun.

Sampe sekarang rani nggak tau ini bener apa nggak, tapi... liat aja nanti.

"Tut, tut, child!" said the Duchess. "Everything's got a moral, if only you can find it."

—Lewis Carroll, Alice's Adventures in Wonderland

Mimpi di masa muda

2010-10-08T22:04:00.003+07:00

rani bilang tadi kalo rani udah bingung punya uang mau diapain rani mau beli hutan beberapa juta hektar (kalo masih sisa) yang ada di... Kalimantan atau Papua. Nggak rani apa-apain. Dari pada di jual 30.000 per batang gede mending buat rani deh, tetep nempel di tanah dan nggak dijual murah ke tetangga. Tapi kata mama sama papa rani mending rani jadi menteri aja. Katanya kalo punya kekuasaan semua lebih mudah. Tapi kayaknya daripada menteri uang lebih banyak kuasanya deh. Yaa liat saja nanti.

Terus rani seneng banget, hari ini ke Pizza Hut sama beberapa teman-teman IPS sama Nuke terus ke book fair. Dapet buku yang bagus. Mau kesana lagi ada yang bagus lagi tapi karena rani nggak bawa cash jadi rani urungkan dulu. rani kebanyakan beli buku nih. Abis pada diskon. Yaudah deh.

rani seneng banget. rani seneng banget. rani ngobrol sama Noni sama Yudis sekarang, dan rani seneng banget.

ada quote yang bagus:

yudistira says:

haaaa muda bgt! 30 thnan dpt nobel! Kayak waw super

rani says:

HARUS

kalo udah tua nggak keren masuk tvnya

kayak:

"duh udah tua males" ganti channel

yudistira says:

hahahahak!

noni says:

-_____- ahaha bagus ran

rani says:

drtd rani bilang nobel2 tapi sebenernya yg dpt nobel itu yg ky apa sih?

yudistira says:

kayak rani noni yudis ran!

Masa muda. rani mau liat apa reaksi rani, Noni dan Yudis baca ini 10-15 tahun lagi.

TADA

2010-10-04T16:27:00.004+07:00

Ya. Pekan mid test sebenernya... adalah salah satu pekan kesukaan rani. Dari dulu. Walaupun kebanyakan dulu rani nggak sadar. Kenapa? Karena bisa pulang cepat. Bangun lebih siang sedikit.

Pekan sumatif juga oke... tapi sepertinya lebih banyak pressure dari pada mid test. Dan rani belum belajar! Yaaaa. Besok PKN dan Bahasa Jepang. Apa boleh buat. Banyak godaan. Banyak buku diskon. Mitton pun mulai sehat. Binatang di rumah rani pada bersahabat loh. Ikan di kolam dalam rumah sangat baik, mereka mendekat kalo didatengin, kalo nyemplungin kaki/tangan bakal digigitin, lucu banget. Kayak Fish Spa tapi ikannya gendut-gendut dan cuma tiga ekor. Dulu banyak. Kenapa tinggal tiga ekor? Ada lah, cerita tentang seorang mantan pembantu keluarga rani yang sudah dilabel oleh papa rani sebagai: Oon si Pencukur dan Pembunuh. Kalo dipanjangin namanya jadi: Oon si Pencukur Kumis dan Alis Mitton dan Pembunuh Ikan-ikan Papa yang Menakjubkan. Perasaan rani udah cerita. Pas kumis dan alis Mitton dicukur semua merasa itu lawak (dan rani, pada awalnya), tapi ketika lele dan ikan mas raksasa papa meninggal; papa meledak.

Terus rani mau baca Pangeran Kecil lagi. Terus rani mau belajar. Bantu do'akan rani supaya belajar ya.

"When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us."

- Helen Keller

Animal Divination

2010-10-01T17:56:00.006+07:00

rani
11/01/1994

You are Orange Monkey, who is lively, fresh and give an active impression.

Your personality is straight forward, and is a very attractive person to be with.

You are also very sociable, and can keep an eye on people too.

Nevertheless, you tend to be rather nervous and worry about things bit too much.

You tend to have a needless fear.

You come up with ideas very quickly, but at the same time, you can easily give up.

You lack perseverance.

You should be more open and natural to have a foresight for the future.

You have an instinct to attract people.

You are a charismatic person to whom people naturally get attracted.

You have a flexibility to be able to adapt to any circumstance, and know how to get ahead in life.

You never miss to calculate the profit and loss, and live life rationally.

This makes you difficult to have an intimate relationship.

Once you set an objective, you will work extremely hard to achieving it, and can exercise great tactics.

Nevertheless, you tend to easily change your target as well.

You tend to be very independent woman, and will hate to be restricted to your family.

You may start to feel your family to be an obstruction to your life.

If you can have a job that would act as a freshener, your life would be smoother.

You tend to have a fantasy world in your head, and may hold a girlish dream all through your life.

After getting married, your family will be important to you, and you will be able to raise a happy family.

Wow. I tried personality tests before, but... this one is the closest to my personal opinion. And /I AM/ attractive, am I not? Attractive in monkey-kind-of-way, hahaha. With flailing arms and bouncing every now and then.

You gotta try it! It's fun and easy! This one's called Doubutsu Uranai.

Mitton sakit

2010-09-30T20:01:00.004+07:00

Hari ini rani begitu bel langsung pulang. Mitton sakit, jadi hari ini dibawa ke dokter. Untung cuma iritasi mata biasa. Ngeri juga kan, 8 tahun rani bersama Mitton nggak pernah kenapa-napa sekalinya ke dokter langsung vonis kanker stadium 4? Jadi begitulah. Pulang-pulang dia bersin dan... batuk, sepertinya. Kasihan. Tapi dia udah diobatin dan disuntik. Semoga diapun cepat sembuh.

Di vet tadi juga ada 2 pasien yang dirawat. Satu anjing rani nggak kenal, satu lagi kucing betina namanya Gocira. Pesek dan putih. Kata dokter dia sakit... membingungkan. Trombosit sangat rendah lalala sebagainya; kayak sakit demam berdarah tapi entahlah rani nggak terlalu denger. Kakinya juga diperban yang kanan depan. Dia juga diinfus. Tapi yang rani perhatiin bukan itu. Yang rani perhatiin adalah dia ngeliatin Mitton selesai Mitton diperiksa. Mungkin dia pengen main. Kasian dia. Kayaknya dia sakit parah banget deh. Semoga diapun cepat sembuh. Terus disana ada anjing besar yang lucu kayak singa. Lucu banget. rani pengen pelihara deh. rani suka anjing. Apalagi anjing besar. Mereka besar dan lucu dan kelihatan bodoh tapi menarik. Nggak kayak kucing persia yang jelek tapi lucu. Tapi nanti ajalah peliharanya. Kalo udah masuk surga. Amin masuk surga.

Cita-cita rani kalo masuk surga mau punya anjing, mau punya lumba-lumba sama mau punya sekeluarga burung hantu yang lucu. Aww. Keluarga burung hantu yang rani tonton di tv waktu itu sweet banget. Mau deh ngobrol-ngobrol sama burung hantu. Mereka tuh lucu banget ya.

Labil

2010-09-27T17:05:00.003+07:00

Mau cerita nih. rani ceritanya mau menceritakan tentang kelabilan manusia. Nggak deng boong. Oke deh sebenernya mau tapi rani nggak tau jadi niat tanpa ilmunya nggak bisa ngapa-ngapain juga to? Yaudah deh. Nah tapi gitu deh. Nggak ada hubungannya tapi rani akhir-akhir ini labil. Nggak cuma pikiran doang, tapi kayaknya jiwa raga rani labil deh. Nafsu makan labil, pikiran labil, hasrat hidup labil, mau belajar labil, mau ibadah pun sering labil (berapa kali rani nggak jadi puasa gara-gara labil), jantung berdetak pun entah kenapa terasa labil, bernafas pun tiba-tiba labil (nggak ngerti tapi rasanya gitu) tidur labil, dan lihat, tulisan rani pun labil. Tulisan labil, gambar labil. Entah apa yang nggak labil deh.

Kenapa ya apa karena labil lagi ngetrend apa gimana tapi ternyata labil itu nggak jelek-jelek amat ya. Justru bagus juga lumayan kalo dipikir-pikir. Labil tuh asik banget, yang dipikirin jadi banyak, jadi beragam, yang pengen diketahui jadi banyak, yang kerasa juga jadi banyak, alhasil jadi bingung, tapi bingung itu juga anugrah kan? Cuma satu alasan yang (terpikir di rani yang) bisa bikin orang bingung: Pilihan. Hidup dengan pilihan itu udah oke banget deh. Lagian pengalaman di masa labil tuh seru banget, kalo udah gede kerasa bodoh-bodohnya, pasti bisa jadi cerita lucu yang bagus di masa tua nanti. Kalo dapet jatah masa tua.

Tapi biar labil itu nggak jelek-jelek amat, labil itu kondisi yang lumayan menggelisahkan dan agak-agaknya ngerepotin. Di bagian mananya pun rani bingung. OH YA! Temen rani Asri Oktavioni Indraswari berhasil menyabet silver medal International Earth Science Olympiad!! Waaaw keren baaanget kaan, Seneng banget waktu denger berita, itu, rasanya kayak rani yang dapet silver medal bukannya Noni. Seneeeng banget deh. Bangga banget. Alhamdulillah ya kuereeen banget deeh.

Miss Aulia juga mau ke Jepang nih. Bakal kangen banget sama Ms Aulia. Ms Aulia belum pergi aja udah kangen. Mungkin kalo pulang Ms Aulia udah jadi Mrs Aulia kali ya. Pulang-pulang bawa gandengan dan gendongan. Dalam waktu 1,5 tahun. Hahaw. Yang mana yang baik aja deh yang kejadian.

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