Saturday, July 20, 2013

(this is just a fangirl rant)

Halo! These days, I read books. I haven't read read books--excluding academic stuffs--for I don't know probably a year or so. I read more back in my high school days. Including comic books... and now that I mentioned it, I read a lot more fictions (novels, comics, fanfics) than I do these last 2 years in college. It's a good thing if what I read now revolves around stuffs that sort of matters (like journals, news, politics, critical theory, or something like that) but unfortunately it's not really the case. I just don't read as much, I think. But on the brighter note, compared to back then what I read now varied more that what I read then (but yeah mostly comics). 

Oh yeah sorry I digressed. So yeah I read books. One is because... I sort of curious (it was recommended by a stranger in omegle HAHA--in which turned out not very appealing to me) and the others were a series of books that I've PROMISED to read (I made a pact with a friend--which turned out to be fun and addicting). I still wanted to spend most of my money on comic books, and I still read a lot of webcomics. But I don't read fanfictions as much as I used to. 

"As much as I used to" is how much, exactly? For years, say, 9th grade until I graduated high school, I read fanfictions literally everyday. And it's not like it's one fanfic a night as well, it can be five to ten or more, if it's not chaptered. So like any other fangirls, I have read thousands upon thousands of fanfictions in my teenage life. I rarely read those anymore because a lot of factors, one of them that most of fanfictions are crappy (90% of everything is crud after all) and I don't have time to read crap nowadays. 

But talking about this makes me remember one of the best of fanfics I've read then. I have this fanfic author that I adore. And I can't believe it either, but every single fic that I've read written by her were brilliant. From what I remember, her stories are perfect, the plot is wonderful, very in character and the use of words are beautiful. The most important is that she moves me, and her fics gave me this tingling feelings that makes me happy. 

She was (still is) very special, because she writes fics for one of insignificant fandom out of my fandoms that are usually insignificant in general (I suck at choosing fandoms). So there's not much to choose from and I'm glad that in this insignificant fandom I have one brilliant source of fanfics; her. 

So for years, I look forward to read her fics and for her to update her stories. There's this one particular story that has been running from... I don't know, around 2002-2003 (because in 2003 she updated the ninth chapter). She's busy and she can't update regularly so... yeah. For years, since the time I found her and this particular fic, I've been looking forward to read her new updates. That's probably sometime in 2009. It's a bit tiring to wait for updates, because it updates, like, once a year. Sometimes more than a year. Sometimes I'm terrified if she's dead because I really want to know how the story will end.

But for I don't stop reading new stuffs, this fandom soon be temporary forgotten and I don't visit her site as regularly. Until just now.

Out of nowhere I suddenly remember her, and I check out her site. I suppose that I haven't visited it in like a year or so. 

I'm awed. It's been years since she started writing that fic and until now, it's still alive. What's surprising is that, for those years--even when she only updated once a year like I said--she keeps updating. She keeps writing. She still updates the fic that I've been following--waiting--for more than 3 years. The last time I read it probably 2 years ago, and... it's still alive.

I... don't know what to say.

You see, I've read enough fics that it isn't once or twice I found a really good dead fic; a fic that is discontinued for whatever reason, or a really good fic that's in hiatus for forever; might as well as dead. I usually feel sad and disappointed because, a lot of them actually really, really good. And has a lot of readers and comments so it's a shame to see it ended up dead. 

But this?

Her dedication to keep updating until now (even when I don't know if it'll be finished) moved me. Her commitment to actually finish what she's started is extraordinary. Mind you, this is fanfiction. This is a work of love, she's doing it for free and she has no real responsibility towards anyone to actually finish it. But she did it anyway. Be it a fruit of love, a gratitude for loyal readers, or just a mere self-integrity, it's awesome. She's awesome. 

I love you, Leareth. You're an inspiration. Keep writing.




I don't think this post is coherent, but I don't really care. I just have to write this.