Sometimes I worry that I am not very honest with myself.
I think I'm pretty honest, but what if I'm not? How would I know? After all, it is me who I'm lying to. And I might be a terrible liar, but I am also pretty gullible. I don't know.
Like… I don’t know. Sometimes I think I know myself so much. But what if it’s because what I am is just what I think I am?
And I wonder if that’s even a valid question, cuz, why wouldn’t you be the person you think you are? I don’t understand this. I have too much existential crisis.
You know, sometimes I get tired too, when I seemed to be more of an interesting specimen, or an exception, for my surroundings. I mean, I also like to think I'm special, but to dismiss my experience or my perspective because I am not 'like most people' is also disconcerting.
I know I am a serious person, but I didn’t know that I’m so serious that I don’t know how not to be serious about things anymore. I butchered small talk. I cannot. Somebody should tutor me how to not talk seriously, or talk about serious stuffs, or twist a non-serious talk into something serious. How do I keep things light, anyway? What can people even ask about things that doesn’t matter?
