It's been a while and a lot had happened! Now I am working in another new company with new and old friends. I haven't really... been productive in much things else (I played regularly but do I write and draw regularly? And read regularly? No) I haven't even write my dreams for a lot of months. But that's not surprising anymore hahaha
I always thought I don't have a lot of friends, and at one point I don't think I am capable of making more meaningful relationships, but I was wrong. It turns out that I have quite some people whom I care a lot and whose relationship benefits me so much that I wanna keep it probably forever. And I was able to find a companion even when I didn't expect it. Or maybe I am just ultra lucky (like most of the time in my life).
Anyway, I have a theory that being nice is something like a talent.
So if you have a talent for being nice--maybe not in literal fashion, but more of a talent of being able to read the air, have the sensitivity towards your surrounding, actually have inclination to maintain harmony, and things that you can utilise to act appropriately to those around you--then being nice to others and making people like you may come naturally for you.
But for most people, they learn how to be nice. Like me!
For me, I find it strategic for people to like me and thus, beneficial to be nice.
The thing is, I get away with being rude often. I said a lot of things without thinking it through (whether it will hurt someone, whether it's politically correct) and most of the time they can be hurtful. BUT, for many occasion, it does not have any bad repercussions to me. No broken relationships, no fights, no drama. Thus, I learnt how to be nice when I was way older than I think I should be (or idk, some people are old and they're still mean so maybe this is not the case).
Anyway! I learnt that the things I do or said would be perceived as mean and insensitive, in the broader scheme or a more general context. And that I was able to get away with it because I already established a good relationship with whoever I said or did those things to. I used to be selfish in all things I do but once I understand that it is in my best interest to make people I care about happy too--it's easier being nice. I want to continue being nice until being nice and kind come more naturally for me.
I would like to think my people skills are better now. I still suck hanging out with a crowd but I generally able to make small talks now even if I thought it's dumb.
