Sincerely, Your Friend

I've heard about korean old saying this afternoon "..to have a lot of friends means that you actually have no friends at all." or so it said. (Not exactly like that.) But I beg to differ. Friends are friends, even though it's not genuine. As long as it satisfy one's social need then friends like that're okay... or so I think. Although it's kinda lonely and boring sometimes... I think. - Some time in 2010, taken from what should be a diary (but kinda failed because I stop writing when exams were approaching) 

It's kinda pathetic, but I see that I haven't changed.




(I want to end it after the first sentences but it'd seemed pretty depressing so I decided not to.)

The first paragraph is not meant to be part of anything, it just had to be there so I could capture the quoted sentences as a whole picture. And please don't mind the grammar and sorry my writing's ugly. And yeah.

I am happy to love and being around others. They don't have to be with me all the time, they don't have to love me back (although the feeling of being loved is wonderful) but they don't have to. It's not like I'm making an effort to be loved or being around them all the time; so I guess it's fair. Sometimes feelings don't reciprocate and it is time to accept that. Sometimes I feel lonely and bored and have no one to turned to; because I'm just... not sure if they would mind or if they felt the same.

I've been doing that (feeling like that, thinking about that) since I grasped the concept of the importance of others up until now. And I've never thought that it's bad at all. Maybe saddening, a little; because it sounds pretty lonely (and it is, sometimes). And I would be lying if I said that I don't envy those who proudly state they're best friends forever and all--because it might not (or might) be true but the feeling of having someone (or two) is bound to be there you; support you; and all those stuffs best friends do forever... is wonderful isn't it? It gives you strength and maybe courage and maybe comfort and everything. (Hence the 'Power of Friendship' is 'Truth in Television'.) But it's fine, what good will come from mourning over something I don't have?

Let me get this straight though, I am happy and I do have friends. They are wonderful people and I love them. I believe that each one of them has their own special place in my heart (it's hard to make it doesn't sound corny so I don't even try to make them sounds not-corny; but I'm being serious) and that is all. The attachment I have with them may vary; but I never mind if they have other friends they hold more dearly or anything like that. This is more than enough.

I am happy.

What more can I ask? :]

Celebrating a New Semester!

Hello again everyone! The first week of the new semester is over! And I am trapped in a committee yet again! (I know I'm being redundant but did mention 'The first week'?) But at least this one got my full consent... okay maybe 3/4 full. Okay. Full. Sort of. Unlike the other two.

But okay! I tried my best to keep up though, on the other two I mean. I feel guilty on not working whole-heartedly; I really am, but I'm not that selfless. In fact; I believe that I am one of the selfish-est fellow ever but I just don't have the guts to say 'no' to people. I constantly praying that when I said 'ENG... I don't know... I'm not that good' or 'I don't think I'm suited for the job', people GET that I don't want to get that job and I don't want to participate and stop being persistent because in the end I would accept and I'll try my best not doing a half-assed job but sometimes it's just! HARD! And I did so anyway. Yeah. I'm not that selfless so I'm very sorry if it looks like I don't feel like I own the event and whatever I did is not the picture of excellence. And please don't count: 'I would like to help' as a consent for putting people's name into a committee. Sigh. This is what I hate about high-context culture. I hate being high-context; and I thought I'm pretty frontal too!

The courses I'm taking this semester seems fun, at least for the week. There'll be a lot of upcoming papers and presentations and I hope those committee stuff won't hold me back from being tad-bit diligent on doing those assignments.

After my lovely cousins left to France, I'm thinking about applying for scholarship exchange programs for the upcoming semester; 5th or 6th preferably. And the former stuffs I've mentioned weighing me down the drain (sort of). Hopefully I'd stay on fire to pursue a semester abroad!

The new semester has begun, I wish this time I'm able to outshine the sun! (metaphorically speaking)