Assumptions

I have friends who apologize to me because of something they did or said, as if it offends or hurts me.
(It doesn't.)

It seems that they assume that I'd be hurt or offended because they learn that some people are hurt by the actions. Or words.



I think most people learn by nature. They pick up patterns, memorize stuffs, make conclusions after each lesson and act or speak based on that. As older they goes, maybe they don't really see things as they are anymore. They see things in direct comparison with what they have seen or learnt.

But not really as separate, different, totally-not-related being.
(Not that it's a bad thing)

They see new things as a part, or maybe extension of what they have encountered.



When they learn that one stimulus will get a certain kind of respond from some things, they thought other things might respond in the same way. When they see that one being has a certain characteristics, they believe that its kind would all be like that. But when they see that some things are different, it doesn't make them change their previous thought or believe. Sometimes it just broadens their previous thoughts or believes, sometimes they ignore it-they ignore it as it is part of deviance or abnormality that shouldn't be counted. Saying that there are "exceptions".

I guess it's justified because if it's not from those things that we learn-from assumptions that we make-it's hard to do or say anything. For some cases, it's outright impossible. Plus, it's a total chore to actually learn the same thing over and over when they're, you know, similar. We invented the word for it; it's called generalization. It makes a lot of things easier.



I do too, sometimes. Generalize stuffs. Compare one being with others. See things as a big gob of things instead of scrutinize each of the said things.
(Naturally.)

So I understand if people recall what they learn about people (or other things that associated with my being) and assume that it applies for me too.





But I hope when they finally learn that I don't, they don't try to make me fit the conventions.