Sexuality, Marriage, and Islam

Disclaimer: This is a personal interpretation and deduction from what I've learnt from living. I wanna say religion instead of Islam but I can't because I have no real reference in other religion. And by 'Islam', it actually really meant 'Islam in my perspective' and if there's any inaccuracy in things I said about it, feel free to say so, but please be mindful it's not intended as it's merely a fruit of deduction from whatever I learnt so far (which is, to tell the truth, not a lot).

I am cutting the case really short: I don't believe that it is wrong to love anyone or anything. It's a very natural thing to have a feeling of affection to anyone (or anything really). I always believe that it has never wrong to have feelings, however nasty they are, as long as they are not actualized in actions (x).

And with that saying, I think it's perfectly fine for people from the same sex to like each other.

I also don't believe that it's forbidden by my religion. Which is Islam.


Before getting to how the heck I come to that conclusion, there are a few things that have to be explained first.

That is, Sex and Marriage in Islam.

Sex, like every other aspect of life, is regulated in Islam. Sex, as I understand, is only permitted in two conditions:
1. It is reproductive sex
2. It is done by people who are married

It has to be reproductive sex, as non-reproductive sex is banned and seen as perverted. From what I get, the purpose of sex in Islam is strictly reproducing. Non-reproductive sex is an act of sin. Even when it is done by man and woman. But it has second condition: it has to be done by people who are married, so people who did reproductive sex but aren't married are also sinful.

But marriage itself, seen from my very simplistic point of view, is an institution that are legitimated by Islam to (1) track bloodlines and preserving species, and (2) socialize and perpetuate Islamic traditions and values. (But really, it's not just 'marriage' and 'Islamic norms and values', people use the unity of people through any institution for any norms and values).

I guess there are other purposes as well but I see these two as the most fundamental. Why? Because reason (1) is the reason why people who can marry are only people that can engage in reproductive sex, which is man and woman. To put it simply, if they can't reproduce, then the purpose of marriage is DEFEATED. Why such strong word? Because in Islam, you really CAN (and to some extent, encourage to?) have another marriage if you can't have children from the one you previously have.

Without children, you can't make little people who are supposed to be internalized with the previous value you have (in this case, Islam) which is actually the reason (2). I am saying so because preserving and spreading Truth in Islam is compulsory for muslims, and the easiest thing to do that is to build a family. How? Through marriage.

So that's how I deduce the purpose of marriage in Islam into two.

Which is kind of what leads me to think that the problem in Sodom and Gomorrah is probably not because men are loving men and women are loving women: but because they're engaged in non-reproductive sex.

As I said, non-reproductive sex is banned in Islam. And there's no way for two people from the same sex to have a reproductive sex, that's why sexual engagement between them is prohibited. (And that's why they can't get married, because they can't fulfill the purpose of marriage.)

But it doesn't mean that loving people or anything other than people from different sex are banned. We are encourage to love and spread love. There are even phrases like "I love you because of God" exactly because we can love anyone or anything based on a very basic thing like principle-differences be damned, as long as we have something important in the core of ourselves that we share together. Islam encourage its believers to be kind and full of love; the Prophet himself is depicted in a very loving, affectionate, and kind figure. And he doesn't really do that strictly to woman. Or muslims. He did so to every living being on earth that he encounters.

So no.

Feelings of affection towards anyone is not wrong. Or prohibited. (It shouldn't even be seen as one.)

What is prohibited (or "wrong" in its sense), I believe, is unregulated sex.

Which we have to admit, implies that homosexual people who are romantically involved cannot ever have sex (according to Islam). But that is totally doesn't mean that they can't love each other anyway.

(And it also implies that, the "act of sin" that is mentioned ever so often is not exclusively done by homosexuals or the like.)





And that's how I come to that.

(I'm very open to discussion.)



note: I prepared the similar notion for speech in class back when I was in 10th grade, arguing that not just that it's not forbidden in religion and not a mental illness, bullying and discrimination againts it shouldn't be happening. But I was thrown for a fact that apparently (despite what I was explaining) homosexuality is rejected in every religion. I guess it was my fault because my initial purpose was to argue not to bully LGBTIQ, so I didn't explain the RELIGION part very thoroughly (though I was pretty sure I'm convincing enough in "mental illness" department)-and she doesn't really care about my point (anti-bullying) but more to the fact that I accept homosexuality even though I'm a person with religion. I learnt my lesson, so here it is: an argument why me accepting homosexuality isn't betraying the fact that I'm a believer.


(x) This is also supported by the fact that in Islam, bad intentions are not sinful until it's done, albeit good intentions are already counted as good deeds, so when it's actually done you kinda get two times the rewards (if you don't then you already get a reward from your intentions alone).