Friendships are great

Friendship is really cool. I am blessed with good friends and I hope to keep them forever, though in the past year and two apparently I cannot always do that hahaha.

I have friends who have become a constant to me. They are people whom for some reason, in my life, just stays, never really going away, for the longest time. More than half of my life I spent with some of them. We don't even talk about our feelings or woes, sometimes. Sometimes, not even the people I go to when I have problems. But they're just there, you know? People whom I just know will be around if I need them to. 

Some friends I have are special. Not really because I am especially close with them or anything, but for the fact that I can go to in any point in time and I can expect them to get back to me. We don't even share news regularly or whatever. I sometimes only know what's going on with them through the updates of the social media--if any, or not at all, if they are not the type. But they're my friends. And I know I am too, for them. 

I do have some friendship lessons, though. I had came to a realization that sometimes, I am just not that much of a good friend to some people. And I think it's fair for those people to evaluate our friendship and no longer consider me a friend. I too, find that some people are not able to handle me or understood me, in ways that being myself hurts them. So not being in vicinity of them should be the most logical conclusion for me. I guess for these cases I still have a lot of things to learn, and perhaps growing to become better person is just something you need to do to be a good friend for some people you have lost. Who knows if time could heal as much as it grows you, and perhaps some things are not lost anyway? Only time will tell. In any case, the things we lost make us who we are as well, and for that, I cherished all of these encounters and hopefully they heal me more than they broke me.

But at the end of the day, friends are great. Friendships are great. The time spent with friends energize me, and I learnt so many things, feel so many things that are positive, and help me become the person that I like being. It's so cool. I hope everyone have good friends that love them and care about them, because it's amazing.

Update Until Today

Things are different than it was since I last updated my blog. To be honest, I think in the past year I didn't get that much time to just be reflective in general, just on the mode of keep going and distracting myself here and there. But here is some updates just for the record of me being alive in 2023 despite has not looking forward to long life since ever.

Anyway, I am well. I am in good health, and I am happy. Things around me are good too. My loved ones are close by and well. Working has never been my passion but I am in one where I can do it remotely forever so I am eternally grateful for it. Still prefer not having to get up in the morning and think of the work I need to do 5 days a week, but it is good. I am content.

I get my birthday blues like usual, and of course being confused is what I am--with no ambition, dreams, and having a good life already what is there to seek? The thing is that I do know I can do whatever I want to do, and there's little things that hinder me from it. But what is it that I want to do exactly, when I am happy with all that I have and that there is little out there that entices me? It's a quiet, mediocre life with the daily complicated questions of what to eat for dinner, and I think it's a good one.

I finished so many games last year, and I hope to continue to do so this year too. It's just January and I already finished 2 AAA games (well... I started P5R in December but I finished this month so it counts) and I really hope to have more and longer horse trips this year.

I learnt a lot too this past year. Some about myself that I never knew, and I am proud that I went pass the difficult and uncomfortable phase. There's always discomfort in figuring things out, and anxiety in uncertainty, but I have grown to learn to be more and more patient about it, more conscious about my effort and my laziness, more grateful for the support I get from around me.

I hope to always be close and closer to what makes me happiest, and I am glad to know that I do, always.