Recently things get pretty hectic. I have to do lots of stuff--projects and presentation and paper; and it's not even finals. And don't get me started with finals.
Anyway!
Today I did something bad. I was dishonest. I lied. I feel terrible.
It's something that is not unusual around here--my friends did that a lot--but it was my first time and I did it in the most stupid fashion one could ever invented.
I probably feel terrible because of that; because I did it so stupidly stupid. Not to mention my hand was trembling so it failed so hard. I was scared. I felt pang in my heart.
So very terrible feeling.
I'm glad that it stays only for a little while (sort of), because if it doesn't I'd probably cracked.
In a way I thought that maybe I'm just not made to do this; that I'm super bad at these stuff. Maybe I'm a good person after all. And then I realized that maybe the reason I felt so awful was because I was scared of getting caught; not because what I did was an act of dishonesty.
I wish there will be a time like this no more.
I don't like it.
On a brighter note: two presentations that I did this week are wonderful, they're great, one get (possibly) the warmest response from my lecturer and the other got us a second place!
And on an even brighter note: I met a person I've been wanting to meet for.... I don't know. We met at the train on Monday and we met again today. We talk for, like, two hours. I miss talking with her. I miss her. The last time we talk for more than 20 minutes is probably 5 years ago. I miss her so bad. She doesn't really change that much; she's just better at what I think she's awesome at. I love it and I love her too. I hope she'll always be happy!
I still have a paper and presentation to work on, and 7 take-home tests right after. I hope it'll be over real soon.
Bye!
No comments:
Post a Comment