Responsibly Selfish

I think the problem with people is that they just don't realize how selfish they are being. I have written a little about what I think about selfishness here, so you might want to read that one too.

Anyway. Yeah.

I don't think many people realize that they are selfish, just because it's just natural to do certain things or because things they do benefitted others. Hmm. Interesting, but very annoying sometimes.

This is how I understand living, so feel free to disagree, but I think people have to be selfish to really understand what they want and what they got. They have to be selfish to be grateful.

Sometimes people tell me that wanting this and that is selfish. Wow, ok. So other earthly things I do is not selfish? Let me tell you, living is a struggle. You cannot even let yourself alive not in expense of others.

Take myself as an example.

I am feeding myself from taking millions of life. There is no count to how many farm animals that has been cut to keep myself alive for 22 years. And let see, how many trees has ended their life for the hundred thousand tissue I used for my runny nose? Not to mention those who died for the paper I used for exams or doodles, and for the sake of books that I enjoy reading. The seat that I have in school, I wonder who could have my seat if I were not there? A person who wants good education as much as I do, probably. Some other person can fill my place at work, but there I was! Working, in expense of those that didn't get it. Not to mention the capitalistic system that I support with my money from the superficial products that I bought, not sure who were the underpaid labor, but I wouldn't be as comfortable as I am now if I were to nitpick every single person or other living beings who suffers because of my choices to keep myself entertained. Even on being born: I was once that one sperm that has got into the egg first, and letting those other millions died in vain.

And isn't that what selfish is?

 

(Ok, I am not going to argue about semantics, I'm not sure if 'selfish' is cut for it, but it's either that or other words I don't know or word that I have to made up and I am not Shakespeare so I am using the word selfish just for the sake of this argument, whatever)

Denying that one is selfish--not even realizing how THOSE seemingly 'normal' things as things that benefit you in expense of other's suffering--is pretty conceited, I think.



So just! Understand! That you're doing things for YOUR reasons! Stop thinking that you're in something for some noble cause and that it will give noble consequences, because it is your noble cause and your noble consequences. Not everyone is benefitted from that. Not everyone thinks it's noble. Even 'greater good' itself is a selfish thought. Just because you think it's good or nice or whatever doesn't mean it is. (It will also lead to why you won't please everyone. Not always because you're wrong or bad, but simply because you just can't)

Please just accept that you're doing things for yourself. Just accept it. Just accept that there are some people that mattered to you. Accept that there are values you want to keep. Accept that you do not want to be hurt. Accept that there is no one that cares about what you care about like you do. Accept that the world really does not revolve around you, and only you do.

Because once people accept it, I think they will understand how easy it is for anyone to be kind or nasty. (Mostly nasty.) How easy it is for anyone to be horrible, and how easy it is for THEM to be horrible. It will be easy to understand what it takes for one to be able to live in a certain way. You will understand what drives you and you will realize that there are privileges available for you--things that enable you to have selfish thoughts or do selfish things.

Accepting it won't stop you (or me) from being selfish, since we can't help it. But it certainly will make you more aware of how you can be horrible to others. If you're nice enough, maybe you can make it less horrible.











But you know, this can be just me wanting to make myself better for thinking that killing things for my own sake is ok.



p.s. I think my writing has gone bad. Or has my writing always been bad and it's just now that I am, uh, smart enough to notice it? 

Parents and Children

Hi, blog.

Another mind dump, today. And see, I missed another month. I'm getting bad at this.

Anyway.

I find a lot of things shoved in my hands recently, and the things that I can think of is just "If my parents don't love me I can't imagine how horrible that would feel". "It must be sad if there is anyone who isn't loved by their parents." "If there's actually anything that every child should have is being loved by their parents." Something along those lines. I feel loved plenty of times, this time is no exception.

I think it's natural to love my parents, because they love me and they give me food and stuffs. They talk to me and listen to me. They play games with me and let me play with my friends too. They take care of me even when I don't ask them to. They make me feel special, even when I believe that nothing is. It's also natural that the more time you spend with someone or something, you get attached to them, and the thought of life without them makes you sad (I even feel sad thinking that I have to replace my laptop some day). In their case, I have live with them all my life until now, so of course I'd be pretty bummed if they're gone.

It's not "natural" because their DNAs are running in my blood or that I came out of my mother's womb. It's natural because they do things that make me happy and fulfilled. Things that are not easy because I think I will punch myself plenty of times if I were my own kid. Things that make me want them to love me more and to be happy too. They do a lot of things, that I keep things and do things in life just for their sake. When I was sick and helpless, hearing their voices alone makes me cry.

I don't know why my parents love me, but I like to think that I did things that makes loving me easier for them.




I believe that you don't really get people to love you because you're their whatever. In fact, it's a lot of work for some.

So I think it's normal if parents happen to not love their children.
And I think it's normal if children happen to not love their parents.




But with that saying, I still think that unloved children is probably one of the most miserable creatures in the world. Some people just don't deserve children. People has to stop forcing children to be born, because if they are not prepared to love them, they are creating persons that are bound to be miserable for some time.

Stop creating miserable little persons. Love your child, if you can. If you cannot, at least be nice. Or don't make them, at all.



This is coming from a child loved by her parents, and cannot imagine her world in any other way.