Prince

Prince has nice friends. He has a very brave Bold, kind-hearted Little, happy-go-lucky Bright, wise Red, and fun Magic. They travel together because it's less lonely when you have friends to share amazing stuffs you found in the journey.

They are very different, Prince found, but they don't mind that.

Sometimes they have to learn new stuffs because old stuffs they knew don't work the same in different places.

They learn to play music and taste the fun in songs and dances and crowds.

They learn to cope with nightmares and the possibility of being lost.

They learn to change and accept that they might not be the same anymore.



Prince loves his friends. He was never sure of what his friends felt though.

Is he a bad friend for not trusting them to love him the same way?

Because to be honest, Prince Cat never thought that he'd found people whom he loved so deeply, that the thought of others having the same feeling is almost impossible.

So sometimes Prince Cat would cry alone in the night, (because the thought of them leaving him hurts really bad. Sometimes because what he feel for them are really intense that he cries because of it.)

He really is, sentimental.

He then wrote stories about their journey and little things about them to make and his feelings.

(Sometimes songs as well.)

But he never tells anyone about it.

I Stand On the Right Side

I think Democracy as an ideal political system out there is bullshit. I feel that even though people should be given the right to express themselves, I don't quite agree that all of them have to be involved in decision making because:

1. The power depends on numbers. The more people agrees, the greater effect it will bring. The lesser, vice versa. The power doesn't depend on whether it's a good cause or not, whether it's wise decision or not, but merely majority rules.
2. They are not equal. People that are involved in democracy usually have different exposure towards issues or cause or person, they have different level of intelligence and they come from different social classes with different interests.

Now. Based on that two FACTS, you can already see how democracy is not ideal. Decisions that come from that will not be objective because there will always be more people that are stupid, blinded by faith, and discriminative than people who are literate, tolerant, and wise-as Sturgeon's Law stated: 90% of everything is crap. And since the power lies in numbers and people are mostly stupid; people can always be bought, manipulated, cheated to be on the side of wrong. And minorities-as legal as they are as a part of society-will never be heard as much as majorities do: they don't have a place in democracy. What, do you think it's enough for them to just live and not able to practice their believe or embrace their sexuality or just accept that their presence will always be frowned upon?

Yeah, right.

Of course, the practice of democracy is not as shallow: yes political participation is a concern, but so does representation, transparency, rule of law and individual liberties. Which is totally NOT a bad thing, but it has to be followed by great amount of education and literacy to actually make it REALLY works. I might not be a politics expert, but well, isn't it obvious that 'democracy' is just a fancy name for a system if it isn't followed with a good quality of the people? Yanno, because they personally RUN the democracy?

Then again, even though democracy is not very ideal-it is the best one could come up with since any other system is either worse or plain inapplicable to countries as big as one consists of 17,000 islands. Lesser of two evils, they say.



But yeah. Because we are facing one of the biggest celebration of democracy-THE PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION-I'm writing this post.

This election might be the milestone of something important (other than the fact that this is my first presidential election haha) and the future of this country might depend on it: because there's only two choices with totally different background and totally different method of leading this country.

The thing that I can conclude from this is that, if people were smart enough, they will choose a wise, down-to-earth, and experienced candidate with brilliant achievements in their track records and a very clear vision of what this country should be, complete with ways to achieve it. They will choose a candidate from rational and critical thinking.

If they aren't so smart, they probably don't really care who they choose as long as he's from the party that they cheer on, or he's the guy that are chosen by their leader or friend or preacher, or because he's the guy that will represents the value of this religion or believe or race or ethnic that they are (instead of all people in this country) or he's the guy who will fulfill their selfish interest.

Now now, we all know that nobody's perfect-people have faults and made mistakes or have stupid (sometimes unforgivable) pasts or ugly or not filthy rich-so let's just agree on that and choose whoever we think IS the LESSER of two evils. (If it's not obvious enough)


Then, if there comes to a time where the majority of this country choose the obviously wrong choice (which is not that surprising) then that might be for the best of this country.

(Because, yanno, clearly it's an ultimate proof that no good decision come from democratic ways.) (I am also not saying that we should be lead by a tyrant) (Or should we)





p.s. Black propaganda is false information and material that purports to be from a source on one side of a conflict, but is actually from the opposing side. It is typically used to vilify, embarrass or misrepresent the enemy.

Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch

- (probably not) Benjamin Franklin

Doctors and God

My father told us a story he heard from his lecturer today. It was about a time when his lecturer went with his relative to the doctor, because his relative was terribly ill. The doctor examined his relative and after examination, he concluded that there was nothing he can do anymore and his relative is dying. My father's lecturer was furious, saying that he would pay any amount of money to make him actually do something but the doctor insisted that whatever he did won't make any difference. And it was true. His relative died not so long after.

After he finished the story, he said that it need years after that time for him to finally get what the doctor meant. He was mad at the doctor that time, but it's because he didn't understand what the doctor felt or what he knew. The doctor has seen the signs and symptoms to be certain that there was nothing that he can do to help--he didn't want him to spend anymore money than what he already did on nothing, he want to cut the case and put all the cards on the table for him to prepare himself and the rest of his family: "Your relative is dying dude, sorry.". 

And now that he looks back, it doesn't seem like a bad thing at all. At that time he was convinced that this particular doctor is an arrogant lazy bastard who treat his patient badly and doesn't even try to actually save his patient, when in fact he was just a plain good old doctor who knows what he's doing, doesn't want to trick anyone to spend more money on bullshit treatments, nor sugarcoat his diagnosis (but yeah probably not very good at diplomatic communication). The problem with these cases is that sometimes people are not being fair and forget that doctors are not miracle worker nor God--they're just humans who can't cure everything or really stop people from dying if they're, you know, dying. So it's kinda hard to swallow when they say they can't help.

My father further said that he suspect all of those doctors who persuaded the patient's family to do a lot of treatments are those greedy jerks who make use of the patient's family emotional state and desperation to make money.

But my sister and I argued. 

She and I think that sometimes it's not the treatment that counts. Sometimes it doesn't really matter whether or not it works--some people just want to know, some people just want to feel like they have given their all to actually make a change and that's all what matters. I believe that even if there are some evil doctors who did so for money, there are doctors who did so to humor the family--to make them feel better, exactly as stated; to make them feel and think that they already given their best efforts even though with or without those treatments or money spent, the outcome was the same. They did it to ease their soul--not for them to spend their money on nothing. Then again, it's not for nothing either, it does give some relief to some people right? Plus, there's always a chance that the doctors are wrong and the treatment actually works and the patient can live longer.

We come to conclusion that the best doctors for that matter are those who actually explains that yes, s/he'll die and we don't think whatever we do will make any difference but if you're willing to try then we can always give it a go :) or something along those lines instead of plain resignation (like the former doctor did) or giving false hopes by just trying without explaining anything to the patient or their family.

And it makes me wonder if that's kind of what God did to us.

You know.

Letting us try even though it's in vain. 

I was wondering if it's more or less the same:

He already knows what's going to happen. He already knows what are the outcomes and what are things that you choose, for He is the all-knowing and all-powerful. He probably already set things straight already--for all we know everything is probably predetermined by Him already and we only lead our lives as it is written.

But he is letting you try anyway. He lets you to choose--or feel like you are choosing. 

He lets you think, feel, and do things--even though what you think, feel, or do are things that are certain for him. He lets you make an effort to make your life the way you want it to be when it's already known to him how you'd live it, with or without your effort.

He lets you "try" to change your destiny when the destiny is already there to be fulfilled. 

Probably just like the doctors who do things and treatment to their dying patient even though they know it's for nothing. The difference is: doctors can be wrong sometimes.

God doesn't.

But still. He lets you try--actually encourage you to try, because that's probably living is all about:

Trying.

Because we don't know what are the outcomes and what are things that we'll choose and what are things that is going to happen. We don't know what He knows.

And that's enough for us to try and see and think that or feel like we are doing something--regardless what it actually is.

p.s. Don't you just love the fact that we are an insignificant being without free will who are drowned in a false consciousness of actually having an impact on the universe?

Go with the Flow (or Not)

You know, it's already my third year in college. 

Plus I'm twenty right now. I can't believe I live this long already--considering the amount of unhealthy food that I've been feeding myself, the amount of disasters happening in this earth, the amount of disasters happening in the universe, the amount of evil on the land, the amount of viruses and bacteria in the air, the amount of illness that exists in this era, and every other things that can be the death of me.

Not that it's not nice; in fact, it has been fun and awesome. But considering the usual human lifespan, which is 100 something, tops--the average is probably just 60 or 70 something--and assuming that my lifespan is like most people in general--twenty years old isn't so old. I still have a lot to go.

Having said that, I have to think about how I'd want to spend the rest of my expectant years. I have to prepare for it, yes? And given that I live in society that values industry and money highly, I have to prepare myself to, you know, care about getting into the industry and care about getting a lot of money.

(My thoughts of future has none of that in the equation, but you don't really live in thoughts so.)

Anyway.

I consider myself as a pretty idealistic person. It's not that I hate industry or money, but the thing is I don't want to do things I don't agree with and gain things from what I don't enjoy. I'm not sure where I can fit that preference here--of course there's a lot of choice other than being untrue to yourself, job can be made, and there's actually a lot of jobs and causes I can work on, but that's a path full of uncertainty and risks that I'm not even sure where. I mean, I'm very sure that I want to take that path, but which is it? Where is it? Twenty years of life hasn't made me realize that path yet. Or discover where that path is.

But everyone else is already moving. They're already taking paths. They're already making choices.

(Where as I'm here. Not exactly moving. Not sure which way to go. Don't know what path to take.)

And if I don't hurry, I feel like I'll be left behind.

And when I realize what it is, I feel like it'll be all too late.

I don't want that.

So right now, I'm trying to follow everyone else. Trying to follow the rules. The path given by society--as in, the ultimate path that is proven years of making a good citizen: learning in school, doing school activities, graduating with a good grades, doing internships, getting a job.

Don't get me wrong, I enjoy almost most of them. But all this time, I did those things because it feels like that how this living thing works--I just keep doing it because it doesn't feel wrong and I enjoyed the process--and I've always been comfortable going with the flow; wherever it leads me (since it never fails me anyway). Then again, I used to not have the capacity to decide which path to take.

Now I have.

But I still don't know what it is.

Not sure where it goes.

(Good thing that I know where I want it to end, but)

So yeah.

I'll follow the rules again. I'll just follow what everyone else is doing. I keep telling myself that it'll just be a safety net that I'd discard once I found out what I really wanted.  

I hope it is.

Because sometimes I'm afraid that this path will lead me farther and farther away from the path that I actually would love to take--because instead of exploring things that I can work on and love, I'm here: following everyone else.

Then again, I hope that's not the case.

Thank You, Everyone!

Hello, everyone!

I really like the fact that most of me writing things in this blog is an act of escapism from the assignments or studies that I have to do. I love the fact that maybe I can do something more productive than writing blogs though, like practicing things that I used to be good at and now not so much. But then again, maybe it's not so good after all, since I really have to do my assignments and study for final exams next week.

I went through photos again today. I went through old photos a lot.

Just like this blog, I love seeing them again and again to remind me of what of me that has changed and what of me that stays (I am very concerned with my personal growth so please excuse me). But other than that, I'm also very happy that every time I saw them, I realized that there are more lovely people that has entered my life and made my days even brighter and more fun to live in. I realized that there are more people that I come to treasure and whom I prayed their happiness for. I'm so happy.

It flies very fast; the time. Well. Then again, I guess it just seems so because I'm spending it happily.

It's really funny that everything is so very fun and the people are so very sweet--I feel like the universe is trying to spoil me (to the fact that I'm scared that it would crumble one time and then throw me into a pit of despair just like how the universe can be very cruel but let's not get into that). But I think that in a way the universe is a little bit cruel by letting everything ends--making you experience parting with the moment you cherish and people you finally come to love, even when you feel like you own it--but I guess it goes hand in hand with it giving you unpleasant things and letting you part with it and become stronger, cooler, and more mature as it pasts, so... okay.

I just wanted to say thank you for everyone who has been generous enough to smile at me, talk to me nicely, hear my incessant noise, share stories and views with me, laugh at my jokes, wave at me, hug me tightly, kiss me on the cheek--despite all of our differences in everything. Thank you for giving me invaluable life lessons and thank you for making me feel welcomed, happy and loved.

I'm so happy. I hope all of you can always be happy and for all of your dreams to come true. I wish for all of your health and fortune, and for your life to be filled with lots of love.

Kisses!