SAD BAWWW

Sebelum rani mulai, ini adalah pengumuman kalo rani nggak keterima SNMPTN tulis. Surprising? Kinda. Tapi nggak papa. Somehow I saw this one coming. I felt like I should cry or something, because this thing suppose to be sad. But I don't. I think I should and I think I could if I want to, but I dunno, somehow I don't and I don't even know whether it's a good thing or not. I don't mind losing, really. I don't mind that I don't get everything I want and see, the fact that I don't mind doesn't mean I'm not sad.

The thing is, I am sad. Maybe. I guess. Well. I suppose I am, I guess. But not because of the result. I think rather than sad, it's more like.. I'm tired. I'm too lazy to study more. I'm too tired to actually work for it. Again, I mean. The fact that I can't be lazy anytime soon makes me sad. Not because I don't get into the university I have chosen. Oh, and the fact that my father and mother have to say that they don't mind and encourage me. And the fact that my friends have to cheer me up... well, as close as 'cheering rani a.k.a that-friend-who-actually-not-sad-because-of-the-result up' counts. But for the result? Nah. Not sad. Maybe a little. But not really; as I mentioned above. I think my lazyness is my number one reason of why I am sad. Or somesort.

One of my friend mentioned me on twitter: Don't use smiley emot if you're sad... it's not good for you. I laughed. True story.

Because when I see the result (with my sister, while lurking at tumblr) I did laugh. And I'm not that surprised. And my sister doesn't feel bad for me. And when I replied all mentions saying thanks' and thankyous and congratulations', I did smile. So... yeah. That's it. This is too early for me to feel bad and sad because of one-or-two failure. This is too early for me to break down and cry like there's no tomorrow. This is too early for me to actually... I dunno, crash and burn? LOL that one sounds like a cheesy movie title.

The thing is, I'm used to people saying that I'll make it and when it turns out that I don't, I'm used to it too. I think deep down, I know this is what I'll get when almost everybody said that I'll get my first choice, and when BTA teacher said that I should've written International Relations for first choice because I did well, or so they say. And this makes me happy, for one or two reason, knowing they have their faith in me (even tho I let them down) and hey yo, it turns out my results are too awesome to be predicted. Like this one.

So. I love you guys who cheer me up and pray for me and actually care and give me hugs and kisses through the internet, I really, really, really appreciate that. And for all my friends and everyone who made it through, I'm really, really, really happy for you guys. And I'm looking forward for more pleasant news as the clock ticks!

This is one of those things that'll make my biography worth reading. Thank you life. This is awesome. (not sarcasm)