Of Formality and Reality

Weird title. I know. Sorry. Please excuse my uncreative mind.

When I was in high school (it sounds like I'm old or something) in the tenth grade, if I'm not mistaken, my sociology teacher told the class about uh. I forgot what it's called, but long story short, it's about how there are two behaviors that people choose to.. use? do? whatever the verb is; and that depended on the relation of the person you interact with.

One I like to refer as 'formal' (since I forgot what it's called), it's the kind of behavior you usually offer to people for the sake of courtesy and such; usually to people older, to stranger, to your boss, to people you just met, and so on. But I think in a way, this behavior is one that you want 'people to know you as' kind of behavior. It can be anything; polite, warm, chirpy, or maybe cold, annoying and inconsiderate if you want to. So by formal.. I don't mean 'formal' literally.

And another one is.. one that like to refer as 'real' (since like I've mentioned, I forgot what it's called) and obviously, since this is the real one, this behavior reflects you as who you really are. The one you'll use/do/whatever to the person close to you, like family and friends or boyfriends or girlfriends or pets and etc. And it can be anything too.

You can say that "I'm not like that! I always stay true with myself; I treat people the same, their relation with me doesn't matter."

Well.

No, you can't. If you do, I don't think you'll survive in the society.

This act of.. treating people differently comes naturally I guess. It comes naturally when you're a part of society; it comes naturally when you have people who're close to you, and people who're not-that-close to you. A lot of things mattered as of why and it's late and I'm lazy of explaining them (maybe later) but yeah. It's just different!

It's not always differs a lot, of course. It's just, there are things that only people you trust a lot know about one or two qualities your soul has, and there are things that you only do to people mattered to you and people who actually don't mind receiving that behavior.

And there are things that you don't really like doing; like maybe smiling or greeting or bowing or standing straight, but you have to, because that's how society works. There are unwritten rules too, and you can't just pay no heed just because it's not 'you'. And not just society, in a very small scope like meeting people or helping a stranger; there are things that you suppose to do in order to make it work. And more often than not, you don't like doing that. And it works when it's subverted as well. One can act ferocious and cold and scary; sometimes they suppose to do that; maybe that's their job, or maybe they have their own motives (gaining respect, making a point, or something)

And for people who do that; who separate how they treat people based on their relationship or something like that; it's not that they're 'fake'.

It just comes naturally. A demand from society.

And personally, a demand from an insecure mind.

So no. I don't think 'formal' behaviors are fake. And no. I don't think that 'real' behaviors have to be shown to every single people and at any time you want to just because it's real.

And I don't make that theory up! I actually learnt that from high school. I don't know who the heck came up with this idea, but whoever they are, they nailed it.

Today, I met an interesting person.

Well, I meet interesting people everyday, but let's just say that this particular person is worth mentioning because this person reminds me of that particular info I received in class 3 years ago.

So yeah.

Not that I aced sociology; in fact, I sucked. That's why if anyone out there knows what the heck I'm talking about and doesn't think that I make any sense, feel free to point out the wrongs, thank you very much. Because not just I have this lesson three years ago and I sucked at sociology; I didn't do any research when writing this.

So there.