First Timer

Hi guys! Last night was my first time watching a theatrical performance. I've always wanted to, because I enjoy those sort of things, or I thought so. Because it turns out that theatre is not really my thing. Well, I've realized that I'm into things; like reading, and sharing stories, and watching performance arts, etc; but they always went to some extent where one is my forte while others aren't, despite it was in the same context. And this one's the same. The thought of it excites me, but watching them? (As it turns out) not so much.

But hey, before I digress, let's just continue to what I'm suppose to share here. My most humble and honest things I wanted to point out from watching Baju Baru Sang Raja. Oh, I suppose you shouldn't read this first if you haven't seen the play.

(Please note that it's my first time watching these kinds of things)

First. It's boring. Why? The conversations were dragged too long and most of the long conversations have no relation what so ever with the plot. And also, I can't help but notice a lot of little fragment in a scene have no relation with the plot.

I have a lot of reasons in mind of why did that happen: it was suppose to strengthen its characters. It was suppose to emphasize that there are more complex ideas (the immorality of the ministers, what most people have in mind about politics, or something) inside the play other than the actual plot. And it was suppose to (verbally) remind people of bad things that actually happening in real life, of how ironic it was to find it funny on stage. The last thing, it's probably what theatre is all about: A lot of words, and a lot of details. Well, highly likely; knowing Shakespeare's works.

I have a lot of subjective reasons why that bores me: I'm a visual person. I can't read too much words, and I don't hear too much either (Explained how bad of a person I am). If you use words, use it as little as possible. If you don't, use something else to make us understand, because I prefer speculating what I'm seeing from what you did rather than hearing something that I already know from what you're doing. Using words for something like that makes me feel like I've been lectured. I hate that feeling WHEN I'm watching. In my opinion, something good should make me learn something AFTER I've watched it. Something that lets me think and enjoy the show and makes me baffled after it ends with realizations. With a lot of words, that couldn't happen to me.

In conclusion: because I've never watched any play before this one (except for school play! And boy that was fast and simple) I can't tell whether it's boring because of the script or because theatre is boring for me in general.

Second. It has an inside joke where you won't understand unless you're a part of FIB UI's big family. And how did I get the joke? How did I know that it was an inside joke? I read the booklet of course. If you open the book every time another person enters the stage to know who is s/he suppose to be and who s/he actually is, like I did for fun, you will. I don't know whether it's a bad thing or not, but I think people who actually have no time to read the booklet because they're so into the play wouldn't get that, and... if a pointless conversation isn't there for a gag, then it stays as a pointless conversation. Right?

Third. I like the costumes. It was colorful and.. colorful. And the lighting. The background are nice too. But my favorite was the costumes.

Fourth. There's this part where it has an overly-long gag. A gag that goes repeatedly to the point of boredom until it's not funny anymore. Maybe the actual gag is the length of the gag itself, I don't know, but it's not just my taste of a gag. But that's what they say, comedy is subjective.

Fifth. Maybe it's just me too stupid to understand but I don't get it. You see, if you had watched it, the (sort-of) first act was a bunch of activist planning something and mentioning how they will get into the part of the contest. But until the end of the play, I don't get WHERE the hell it supposes to take part. Where is their involvement in the contest? I only saw them as an activist who asked some money to one of the minister, ignite a demo, etc. The one who make a fool out of the king was the designer. From America. Now, now; I know that this suppose to mean something about how vulnerable and stupid this kingdom is to be fooled by them, but well. Isn't it weird? Isn't that mean that the evil minister and the activist was lucky enough that the king making a fool of himself at the time? They only wanted to point out how much money the king spent for it right? But they get a full package; they embarrass the king and the money spent for nothing. Please enlighten me. Is there anything more in Safiudin besides how cunning the prime minister using one of his colleague to do things for their sake? Is there anything more in the designer other than he's from America or is he involved with the plan along with the activist/defence minister?

Sixth. There's a lot of things I suppose to get from watching this. But political matters are never in my line of interest so I don't really pay attention. I was there for a friend. And, to crush my curiosity of how would it feels like to watch a real play. Hahaha. Please pardon my ignorance.

All in all, I'm not reviewing this play. I'm just pointing out things I got (or didn't get) from the play. Because; I don't know how a play suppose to be like, what kind of things that suppose to be achieved, or what kind of things that was suppose to be there, or which one is a good acting and which one isn't. So this is pretty much about ME. Not about the play. So feel free to correct any ignorant and inappropriate thoughts I've written. Some explanations are very much loved and welcomed!

Cheers

Galau mayan

When I'm in 10th grade, I feel happy just being alive. I still do, I guess. But when I'm in 10th grade, I don't need to feel uneasy first to think of what kind of things that I have to be grateful for to ease myself. It crossed my mind constantly, how the sun's shining today; how nice my friends' smiles this morning; how I'm not sick on this lovely day; or how pretty my mom is; or how pleasant this day had become, or how nice it would be if I could get another round of a day to feel those things again. Sometimes it gets particular like how I'm lucky to have a friend like him or her, or how inspiring my teachers are, and so on.

There are skips in my steps. I jumped and waved and have these hand gestures which people remember me of. Smiles are easy. They still are, but. Well. Y'know. I share a lot of stories. I sing with my horrible voice and I dance a lot, even tho I have no clue whatsoever about dancing. I laugh at everything because, everything is funny when you have my sense of humor. Everything and everyone are nice and wonderful and funny and lovely.

I know it sounded cheesy and too rainbowish and sparklish and comical, but that's what I feel when I'm.. err uh. In high school. Wait. Even when I have graduated, I still do. When I got to college, I still do.

But not right now. Or a few weeks ago, when I was so bad my friend asked me if there's anything wrong and I don't even know what's wrong because I don't realize I was so.. quiet and easily upset. I don't know when that started, or whether it came out of the blue or periodically or if it happened all the time since it started (I'm that confused)

I thought it was because of PMS, and it was, but it happened again. I'm sure, for anything cute and fluffy, that it's not just because of hormons.

Have I... changed?

/wails

Not that it's a change... I thought of it as maybe.. a phase?

Or is it puberty that people were talking about? I doubt it. It's too late. I thought I got through puberty. Sort of.

It's just. I just want my bubbly (?) self back. How did I overcome things easily before, and why is it not as easy as before now? What change? Is it temporary or is it something that I have become? Because it's scary now that I realize I don't laugh as much as I did before. I want to dance again. I want to be silly and laugh at my silliness and whatever happened because it was funny and it should be still funny now. I think I'm sick.

END OF STORY!

By the way, I remembered one of a part of my favorite dream again! In fact, surprisingly, it's not me who remembers, it's my friend! I'm touched that she still remembers after I told her; I don't even remember it myself until she mentioned it. So here goes!

I was in a house. A wooden house, and I met the cutest thing ever. It's a pair of dolphins, sitting/sleeping in the wet part of a wooden floor. One was green, the other was pink! COOL RIGHT. Not just that. Because they were too cute to watch, I can't help to touch them (even tho I'm a bit afraid they'll run away if I did). And it turns out that they're FURRY and SOFT and FLUFFY. Did I mentioned cute? They're cute and furry and soft and fluffy and nice. I forgot the rest of the dream but that part was heavenly. I remember something about dogs sitting on their spot, but I'm not sure.

Tomorrow's a new day. I'll outshine the sun tomorrow. Bye!

Dreams

I can not sleep. Yet. Hopefully.

It doesn't bother me when I couldn't sleep around this time before. But tonight I got a lot of things in mind, I guess. Or maybe because I was having sort of horror marathon or something tod--uh, yesterday. Not that.. it bothers me much. Or maybe because I fell asleep around 5 p.m. just now? I don't know, whatever the reason is, I can not sleep. Yet. Hopefully.

Speaking of sleep, I have a few series of my favorite dreams. The most recent is the part of a dream where I dreamed about seeing a penguin and fishes and pretty animals sort-of parading in a sea while I'm watching in the beach.. or rocks, or whatever, with a friend and take a lots of picture with my cellphone. I woke up and then told others about it and told them that I'm glad I took pictures because I know that I can continue dreaming about it now that I have reminders. But that dream happened in a dream (meta-dream?), and maybe what I said doesn't work if it happened like that.

And I was hoping to see it again too. Sigh.

The other one is.. the part of a dream when I was in a hospital and saw cute and colorful stuff-animals like creatures dancing and singing under the full moon. I took pictures too! But the pictures were somehow not good enough and I wanted to go closer to them, but then I realized that they'll pretend to be dead when others were around so I held myself back and keep watching from my room's balcony. I wish I could join them. Singing and dancing under the full moon.

And that's it I guess. I might had have another but forgot about it due to lack of memory. I think I had a lot of amusing dreams--odd, but amusing. There were also weird and scary dreams I'm not really fond of, and thanks to my twisted memory priority slot, I usually still remember about them the whole day after waking up. Sometimes it stays until the day after tomorrow, and the day after that, and it affects how my day goes too, unfortunately. Well, to be fair, it happened to every dreams I manage to remember, no matter what they are (scary or funny or both) and sometimes I wish I dont remember any.

Maybe, if I have enough motivation, I will make a good use of these.. dreams. Preferably make money.

Oh! And I remember another one of my favorite dreams! It's the part of a dream where I'm not included to the dream, and the dream was about a little girl and a banana (an anthropomorphic banana with goggles and gloves and shoes) and.. maybe a few odd friends, saving a planet. Or maybe universe. I'm not sure. They're really cute. In the end, the planet or universe was saved but the banana sacrifice himself so the girl can be saved or maybe so the girl can go back home, I forgot. But it was so sad and touching, to the point where after I wake up, I still remember his name. Not for long though. I managed to draw him in the back of my notebook when I was in school that day, even when I had already forgotten about his name when I drew him.

I should sleep and I really want to sleep. I want to have a long and fun dream where I don't have to be afraid.

Something stolen. Kinda.

Hi again everyone! After some awkward attempts of changing my writing style (with its lack of consistency and all that. As ever), I wanna write something where I don't have to think whether people get what I meant or not. In a way or another, I'm sure you couldn't careless of why I write this way, so I'll go on.

Have you ever feel that something is stolen from you, when it's not even yours in the first place? Well, sometimes it's not even something that can be owned. But it's just, like, stolen. from you.

Have you?

I certainly have. In fact, I experienced it quite a lot.

You know, like the time when a person suddenly brag about your favorite author/artist and how she/he loves them so much to other people's faces, when you know that author/artist since forever and never bring them up because, no one cares right? And then people suddenly intrigued and lalala they suddenly adore your favorite author a few days later? Or you know a really good book since the moment it was available in stores and then a few years later it booms like crazy and suddenly it's so popular everybody talks about it? Or when you keep a faith over something/some group/some people when others don't, and when that something/group/person finally succeed, others will start cheering when you had always felt like the only one who believes?

I did. Sigh. And I'm not very proud of it.

Sometimes, the feeling of something just have been stolen from me was accompanied with irritation, jealousy and, and.. annoyed. Like, I WAS FIRST. Or I KNOW IT LONG BEFORE YOU DID. Or THEY/SHE/HE'S MINE! Sometimes it came to the point where I feel like they have no right to like them/her/him or cheer for them/her/him or somesort because, because.. well. Just because.

I always feel bad afterwards. "What a bad fan I am." sort of thoughts. I mean, if they're popular, or their works are loved by a lot of people, or more people support their efforts, why wouldn't I be happy? I should, right? That's a good thing! If I loved them so much as I state in my mind, then, of course I'd be happy if it makes them/her/him happy or that thing I love becomes popular, yeah?

But I didn't, ladies and gentlemen. No matter what I thought. Maybe I don't love them as much as I thought I am, after all..

Well, I've grown used to it, and I don't really mind anymore, thinking that it's something mundane, and I've grown to be happy for their/his/her/its popularity, but I know that it was something that can't get off so easily. Maybe I just like to feel special; liking them or owning them myself, me and only me. And if people like them or own them too, it should be because of me or they should have reasons and feelings just like me, not some shallow 'go with the flow' something-something like that.

What a selfish and honest thought of mine.

But yeah. It's a thought from a past. Although I'm sure it's bound to cross my mind again, some time in the future or I don't know, some time in the present or something. Though I'm also sure it won't be as long and as intense it was before because things are less in every way when you know about it. Except love. You'll love something more when you know you do, but other than that, I don't think so. CMIIW tho.

I liked a lot of things, I discovered a lot of things and sometimes I didn't share them because of the fear that I'm not going to be special anymore. Maybe. Or maybe I would share them because I want people to know that I am first, I know them more, I love them a lot. Maybe. Well, I make up those ones just now, but maybe they're right and those're exactly my motives when I did that, I don't know. Sometimes we thought things we do are impulsive, when they're actually set by our minds and our evil subconsciousness all along. Which I thought was the most honest part of you; because even heart can be misleading.

But yeah, I'm not proud of that because it means that I didn't love them/she/he or appreciated an object as much as I thought and I prefer to be special rather than to be happy of their popularity; but I'm glad I felt all of that because I know how to let go and be happy for it now that I know my own feelings.

And it helps me grow up! Having ill feelings are also a way to be a good person, I guess. Not that I have become a good person. Or have I? Haha.