picture dump!

Hi GUYS! Long time no blog! :D Or is it?

Now, I know that you guys miss my writing.... (NOT) but I don't intend to "write" here! I'm updating for the sake of telling some people this blog is not dead yet! (It's only 3 weeks, duh.) But oh well!

I still have so much things to do in my to-do list. But doing it without procrastinating just a bit is not really fun, so for the sake of babying myself and preventing me from dying out of stress (sort of) I'm going to post an old work!

If you can't see it clearly, move your screen to a certain angle.

I'm thinking about being productive! And I'm thinking about... oh wait. I have a lot of things to do for the week. Hm.

And for the sake of ending this post like no other, here's a pic of a foot!

I'm thinking about drawing people's faces for real some time in the future... drawing docents' faces in the back of my book is getting old.

p.s. The foot model was my sister. But she has no label on her toe, no, that's just for kicks.

It Mattered.

Uh. Hi there guys.

It's late, like usual. My muse (or maybe the lack of consciousness to reread my writing) only works at night therefore.. things (trash) and whatever comes up as a post at night. Usually.

No philosophy, thesis, opinion or the sort today. Whatever.

You know guys, about my resolution?

It's sort of hard.

I mean.

Being happy and smile and love others is.. not so hard. Hard sometimes, but it's something you bound to do, you know? I just need to maintain it (well duh, said it in the post) and there. To be nice.. I'm trying.

But this part is hard. To make people around me feel loved.

Sigh.

I want to make people around me, especially those who were very dear to me, to know that they're loved. Because I feel really loved right now, and most of the time, but nobody ask and I want them to feel so too because it's wonderful.

And it's saddening me when they don't.

I am no psychic, and I can't read thoughts as well as feelings; I can only guess.

When something is off, something is.. not what most people prefer to be, the only thing I know of that can make people feel better is knowing that they're loved. Despite those. Despite the hardships.

Despite everything.

I feel better when I notice so. I figured they will too.

But I don't know.

It's not as easy as I think it is. Sigh.

But I'm trying.

Why I'm a Theist

Hi there! It's not long before my last post, but what the heck I'll post it anyway! :D You see, today I was.. hm. How do I put this in english. I was in a routine sort-of-discussion/sharing about my religion with a mentor and some of my friends. And boy it was enlightening.

Now, I doubt this will come up in google if any people search for something related to the concept of faith and lack there of, so here I go.

I don't know how to put this, but I guess, for me, it's started with this question:

Do you need a reason to have a faith? To believe, or in this case, to be a theist?

To have faith, I don't think people need a reason. Well, you could; go ahead, no one's stopping. But maybe sometimes you don't have to know what it is. Now, just let that question aside, because as a matter of fact, I don't know the reason I'm a theist in the first place other than I was born in the family of a theist (like most people), but I do have a reason why I keep the faith until now.

Now to elaborate that... Hm where do I start, huh?

I think the first reason why I keep the faith is because, as much as I know from living until now; as much as I understand one or two things I learnt, it happened to be explained in our Holy Book already. Or.. rather than 'explained', let just say that what I think is right or not through knowledge is not contrary to what I got from the religion.

So yeah. So far, with the knowledge I have until now, I never met one that is contrary to what it says. To put it simply, my knowledge don't give me a reason to why I should not keep the faith.

I don't take one or two parts of the Holy Book and then try to proof whether it's true or not, because; aren't you too proud to think that you have enough knowledge to do so? Of course, I'm sure that there's a time where you can proof it, the time when you really do have enough knowledge to do so, but it's not always right now.

So, what I do is: see and do what I think is right, and see if it matches with what it says in the Book.

So far, it does.

It makes sense.

To hell things I read in the Book and didn't get, because I only care and know that much. And the fact that I don't get them doesn't make it definitely WRONG or NOT SCIENTIFIC. Because logic and ratio evolve throughout the years, just like no one will believe that people will fly with a giant metal if you say so in 1200.

But for things that I know IS true. Nothing is contradictory. So far. Because if it's so, I probably has written it on my blog.

The second reason is... less logic and more sentimental... because I'm happy! Having a religion makes me happy! I mean, there's a lot of things to be happy about, but I'm happy to have a God, I guess. Mmm maybe the exact reason is, religion gave me purpose. A purpose beyond what's stated and crossed people's minds. A purpose that, as I believe, that came from a Holy Existence. And I'm happy. I have a religion and I'm happy so why shouldn't I have a religion?

Weird right, but as you see, it is pretty unexplainable, you know. The feeling.

I just realized this after a friend mentioned it, but here goes: at times when I do something that is required in my religion, or things I suppose to do according to my religion... it makes me.. calm, uh. Happy. Like! Like a feeling when you're doing a good thing! That heartwarming sort of feeling. And that happens vice versa, if I neglected them or do things that is forbidden in my religion, I feel a weight or guilt and etc.

I mean, I understand that happens because of inner suggestion or an awareness because we 'believe' of the consequence, but... I don't know. Maybe it is! But hey, I'm comfortable and happy with that, so why not?

And.. another reason is... huh well. Because it's scary, to not believe. Because I believe of a.. Force, an Existence that is so great you can't see it, so kind you're alive and happy; I'm not worried. I don't get scared. I'm happy. I'm content. Because I believe that living will be worth it, I believe everything happens for the best because there's this perfect Existence organize every single thing. And there you go.

Believing is a wonderful thing for me. Of course there are things in my religion that I think... honestly, is a nuisance, SOMETIMES. But as I said, I believe, therefore I also believe it'll be worth it and it's the best to do so. Maybe as I understand more, it will also be a wonderful thing ever happened rather than a nuisance.

But well. I guess in short, I think the reason I keep the religion is because I don't have the reason not to. If you have one; one that can not be objected, I might as well consider to not believe, I guess.

On the side note, I have no problem with atheists; as much as I have a choice to believe, they have a choice to not to, I guess.

But for me, proof of the existence or (lack there of, whatever) of God can not be compare with unicorn or any mythical being.

p.s. not very proud of this. But It'll do. For now. Oh, and here's a pic: